Believe it or not, Kelly used to be the hardest character in the book to deal with. As most of the book is written from his first-person perspective, and he's in just about every scene, that wasn't a small problem. The reason for that is simple: he's based on me. Because of that, I got very self-conscious about everything he did or said in those scenes. Just as I never used to be able to blog as myself, it was really hard using myself as a character, let alone the narrator. I kind of worked out a reasonable way to handle it over time, but the earliest versions of the chapters really sucked balls.
Since then the book overall has gone through a mutation. Most of the characters, at least the major ones, are based on one specific person, but I've also done a little embellishing here and there, and I've used some creative license with others. I've discussed that in terms of Alyssa and Laurel a bit already. Emma is the one character where I'm trying to stick as close to the source as possible, since that's kind of the whole point of the book and all. Even so, I'm not blessed with a perfect memory, so I've had to use a little artistic license with her, too.
That same idea got me over the hump with Kelly. Well, some credit should also be given to the general improvement in my psyche that's occurred this year, which makes using the character a lot easier (you know, now that I don't hate myself). Anyway, I've disciplined myself to seeing Kelly as a character, and even when discussing the book, like I do here, I differenciate between Kelly and me ... whereas I used to not do that so much.
And Kelly is a little different from me anyway, just as Laurel is a little different from Colleen, and et cetera. Here's an example where wrestling has added something useful to my writing. I've heard it said from experts that the best wrestling characters, the ones who really get over big, are really just extensions of the real person ... with the volume turned up to 11. That's been said of the Rock, of Stone Cold Steve Austin, and Roddy Piper, and others. So that's kind of what Kelly is now: me with the volume turned up to 11. And as such, he's a really fun character to write. Looking at it that way, it's juiced up the chemistry he has with Alyssa, Emma, Ben, Laurel, and Gwen, too.
I've become rather fond of the boy.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Large Stuffed Tiger seeks Brash, Obnoxious Companion
The Calvin and Hobbes thing goes back to Milta. I still need to tell her story here, but in short she was the Puerto Rican woman from Springfield that I met over the CB radio and dated for a few months way back in 1995. She and I got pretty tight for a while, even if that relationship was yet another example of the Wheel of Destiny putting someone in my path who would move me on elsewhere. Around Christmas-time she bought me a Calvin and Hobbes t-shirt, which I may still have around here somewhere, and the running joke between us became that she was the Calvin to my Hobbes. To really get this post I would hope you'd have some familiarity with that classic comic strip, but I'll try to make everything clear just in case.
Calvin is the protagonist of the strip. He's wild and mischeivous and something of a troublemaker. Hobbes is his stuffed tiger, who Calvin believes is real (and so do I), and acts as something of a counterbalance to Calvin. Hobbes is the quieter, thoughtful one of the two -- the one who will raise a skeptical eyebrow at Calvin's more outlandish schemes and ideas. That's the sort of role I tend to fall into my own self. Milta may have initiated the comparison, but I've played that role longer than that.
And I've met a lot of Calvins. Examples include, but are not limited to: Milta, Shannon, Melissa, Jason M, Aaron, Brad, Larissa, Samantha, Jessica, Chrissy, Dan, and the most recent example -- Jennifer. Usually, I have a pretty productive sort of chemistry with these Calvin types. I feed off of the wild creative energy and turn it into something for my own use. Or else they show up out of nowhere, help change my life, and then disappear. For whatever reason, I attract Calvins. That isn't a bad thing. It's just a fact.
I think it's interesting that the two most significant sustained relationships I have right now -- Colleen and Guinevere -- aren't Calvin types. I don't really have a theory to cover this, except that while the Calvins can introduce catastrophic change for the better (most of the time), the relationship isn't one that will last for the longterm. The data seems to indicate that my Calvin and Hobbes relationships, while a hell of a lot of fun, will inevitably burn themselves out.
I suppose it could be argued that the three non-Calvins I listed are in fact the Hobbes's to my Calvin. I'm sure I've done and said a lot of things that have gotten their eyebrows raised in a skeptical manner. Yeah. There's no doubt about that.
I've also met some Susie Derkins's along the way. We won't be discussing them in this post, however.
Calvin is the protagonist of the strip. He's wild and mischeivous and something of a troublemaker. Hobbes is his stuffed tiger, who Calvin believes is real (and so do I), and acts as something of a counterbalance to Calvin. Hobbes is the quieter, thoughtful one of the two -- the one who will raise a skeptical eyebrow at Calvin's more outlandish schemes and ideas. That's the sort of role I tend to fall into my own self. Milta may have initiated the comparison, but I've played that role longer than that.
And I've met a lot of Calvins. Examples include, but are not limited to: Milta, Shannon, Melissa, Jason M, Aaron, Brad, Larissa, Samantha, Jessica, Chrissy, Dan, and the most recent example -- Jennifer. Usually, I have a pretty productive sort of chemistry with these Calvin types. I feed off of the wild creative energy and turn it into something for my own use. Or else they show up out of nowhere, help change my life, and then disappear. For whatever reason, I attract Calvins. That isn't a bad thing. It's just a fact.
I think it's interesting that the two most significant sustained relationships I have right now -- Colleen and Guinevere -- aren't Calvin types. I don't really have a theory to cover this, except that while the Calvins can introduce catastrophic change for the better (most of the time), the relationship isn't one that will last for the longterm. The data seems to indicate that my Calvin and Hobbes relationships, while a hell of a lot of fun, will inevitably burn themselves out.
I suppose it could be argued that the three non-Calvins I listed are in fact the Hobbes's to my Calvin. I'm sure I've done and said a lot of things that have gotten their eyebrows raised in a skeptical manner. Yeah. There's no doubt about that.
I've also met some Susie Derkins's along the way. We won't be discussing them in this post, however.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Emma
Finishing up the scene with Ben was easy enough. I could write Kelly and Ben scenes all day and into the night. Those are easy. My biggest challenge always seems to be the Emma scenes, not because she's necessarily a hard character to write, but she does have to be done precisely. There are a lot of cheats and shortcuts I can't use, too. It's one thing for Alyssa to tell Kelly that Emma might be a bit skittish when first met, but while in the scene introducing her I have to actually show that instead of using narration to say "Emma is really shy". To get there and do it well takes a little thought and skill. Overall, I think it works. As with most of the better writing in the book, that aspect of her is made up out of the little details that I throw in. Those same little details, the things that Kelly notices about people, also help in establishing who Alyssa, Ben, Laurel, Gwen, and others are.
This concluding scene is pretty important, and I was definitely right about making Chapter 5 the 'season finale', because Emma just has to be there to get everything full circle, and to get the momentum of the story rolling. On the surface, it's a simple scene: Alyssa invites Kelly over, he meets Emma, the three of them have a small scene together, and then the three of them go off in their own directions to close things out. On the surface. Underneath that is a whole host of things happening, and a lot of stuff is set up here that'll pay off further down the road -- some of it in Season Two, and some later than that.
Outside of that, since I've been able to come to terms with certain things in my personal life, it is a delight to write for Emma. She really shines a light on every scene she appears in.
It goes without saying, I guess, that makes the writing easier to do.
This concluding scene is pretty important, and I was definitely right about making Chapter 5 the 'season finale', because Emma just has to be there to get everything full circle, and to get the momentum of the story rolling. On the surface, it's a simple scene: Alyssa invites Kelly over, he meets Emma, the three of them have a small scene together, and then the three of them go off in their own directions to close things out. On the surface. Underneath that is a whole host of things happening, and a lot of stuff is set up here that'll pay off further down the road -- some of it in Season Two, and some later than that.
Outside of that, since I've been able to come to terms with certain things in my personal life, it is a delight to write for Emma. She really shines a light on every scene she appears in.
It goes without saying, I guess, that makes the writing easier to do.
Diary of a Virgo, volume 15
If forced to decide between being filthy rich and living with one's soulmate, 92 percent of the population would choose the big bucks. I hope that's not your position, Virgo. In fact, I hope you're not the kind of person who would even agree to entertain a question like that. The fact is, you won't have to choose between love and money in the coming weeks, even if that initially seems to be the case. I urge you to hold out for both the $10 million AND the romantic bliss. Formulate a clear intention that you won't sacrifice material security for emotional intimacy, or vice versa.
Ok. That sounds reasonable enough.
Ok. That sounds reasonable enough.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Juggernaut
Yesterday I was mighty. Yes, very mighty indeed. Today I was foiled by Borders and it's lack of tables, which I'll cover in another post I have in mind, but yesterday I was unstoppable. Perhaps I was bolstered by a wave of good vibrations, but whatever it was, the words flowed like warm honey out of a jar onto a nice piece of toast. Let's hit it.
I picked up in Chapter 5 a good ways into the opening scene, which is Kelly and Alyssa. The scene picks up roughly twenty minutes after Chapter 4 concludes, IF you know what I mean, wink wink nudge nudge. There's a shit-ton of material covered in the conversation that follows, and some foreshadowing, and some stuff that you aren't supposed to notice thrown out there right under your nose ... all of which has to be done very carefully so that it doesn't look like I'm doing anything out of the ordinary. I burned through the end of that scene no problem.
I then figured I'd at least start the next scene, which is the big confrontation between Kelly and Kim in his apartment. Everything was clicking so well I didn't want to stop, so I didn't stop, and that scene is in the can. The chemistry between those two is so good that I almost have to bring back Kim for an encore somewhere, if I can figure out how and where to do it without the scene feeling gratuitious. There's a small bit with Milo that I love, too. And I'd forgotten all about the harsh way that Kim lights into Kelly when she finally loses her temper, which cuts pretty deep. That was cool.
Then I figured I'd at least get the next scene rolling, which is Ben and Kelly at the Diner discussing the aftermath of both those scenes. And everything was clicking along so well still that I put down about 2/3 of the scene. All that remains to finish there is the discussion of the new girl that Ben met a week or two back, which he mentioned in their first scene.
Once I do that, it's onto the main event of Chapter 5, and Kelly meets Emma for the first time. That's a long, important scene, which will require a lot of concentration, so I think I should head to the bookstore pretty early tomorrow. I just have to get one of the tables along the wall. But one way or another, I'm going to do some writing.
That'll wrap up not only Chapter 5, but also Season One of the book, which means I can start assembling those packages. I already wrote my mom an e-mail and got a great response back, and she's in for some reading. I haven't yet written that last person on my list, but that's on the agenda for this week. And I know Guinevere should be getting pretty impatient by now, since I ended up making her and the book club wait a little longer than planned.
Writing is going well. Very well.
I picked up in Chapter 5 a good ways into the opening scene, which is Kelly and Alyssa. The scene picks up roughly twenty minutes after Chapter 4 concludes, IF you know what I mean, wink wink nudge nudge. There's a shit-ton of material covered in the conversation that follows, and some foreshadowing, and some stuff that you aren't supposed to notice thrown out there right under your nose ... all of which has to be done very carefully so that it doesn't look like I'm doing anything out of the ordinary. I burned through the end of that scene no problem.
I then figured I'd at least start the next scene, which is the big confrontation between Kelly and Kim in his apartment. Everything was clicking so well I didn't want to stop, so I didn't stop, and that scene is in the can. The chemistry between those two is so good that I almost have to bring back Kim for an encore somewhere, if I can figure out how and where to do it without the scene feeling gratuitious. There's a small bit with Milo that I love, too. And I'd forgotten all about the harsh way that Kim lights into Kelly when she finally loses her temper, which cuts pretty deep. That was cool.
Then I figured I'd at least get the next scene rolling, which is Ben and Kelly at the Diner discussing the aftermath of both those scenes. And everything was clicking along so well still that I put down about 2/3 of the scene. All that remains to finish there is the discussion of the new girl that Ben met a week or two back, which he mentioned in their first scene.
Once I do that, it's onto the main event of Chapter 5, and Kelly meets Emma for the first time. That's a long, important scene, which will require a lot of concentration, so I think I should head to the bookstore pretty early tomorrow. I just have to get one of the tables along the wall. But one way or another, I'm going to do some writing.
That'll wrap up not only Chapter 5, but also Season One of the book, which means I can start assembling those packages. I already wrote my mom an e-mail and got a great response back, and she's in for some reading. I haven't yet written that last person on my list, but that's on the agenda for this week. And I know Guinevere should be getting pretty impatient by now, since I ended up making her and the book club wait a little longer than planned.
Writing is going well. Very well.
Mercenary
I never talk about money, mostly because I think it's crass. I also don't want people to know what I make. It leads to problems. That's why nobody at the hospital ever knew exactly how much I was making an hour. The reason was that I started out in housekeeping at a decent rate of money, transferred into the kitchen, where the people started at less money, and I was never dropped in my hourly rate. Therefore, I was making more money than some people who had been there longer, and there's no way I was going to let anyone ever know that. This is because I'm smart.
When I left the hospital for LSI (actually, the temp company was who I worked for first), I took a huge pay cut, and I worked for a few months at bargain basement rates. Then I was hired on at Level 3, which was reasonable money for how new I was. I had to fight tooth and nail for level 3A, and then while on first shift was bumped up to Level 4 along with Starr fairly easily. And I stayed at Level 4 for the next four and a half years. That's a good level, and it means that you know your job and you're good at it, but it was also a dead end. Unlike at the hospital, where you get a merit raise every year (even though I got shafted during my last one), at LSI everybody at the same associate level went up the same amount. So Starr and I were making the exact same money, which was fine. But I hit that level in 2002, so anybody who started in 2005 and got to that level by 2007 was making the same amount as we were, and that never set well with me. I gave a long oratory on that subject to Sue (that day that she and I had the first two big dust-ups) and then repeated it for Bob later on. I'm not all about the money--respect is more important to me--but I do like to be paid what I'm worth, and I was worth more.
After seven years at LSI I was making $12.75 an hour. That isn't terrible money, but you'd expect something more, wouldn't you? After seven years? I don't remember what I was making at FMC when I left, but it was up there. While I thought I could do better elsewhere, that was just enough to make starting over somewhere else a little scary. I interviewed at Rugers and they offered me $9.50 an hour to start in assembly. Between the travel, and the getting up in the middle of the night, and that $3 pay cut, I was really nervous. But the overtime made up for the paycut, and there was talk that after the 90 day review there would be a pay review. So really I only had to make it through the summer, and then I'd see what happened.
Today Mike summoned me into the office and I found out about my new pay rate. Starting this week I'm making $11.50 an hour. It went up two dollars (TWO DOLLARS! I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!), which to my mind is pretty damn good. I don't think I've ever been shot up $2 in one shot ever.
So let's review: LSI after seven years--$12.75. Rugers after three months--$11.50. I took a scary chance, and it worked out in every possible way.
I've also had four hits on my caller ID from Dartmouth-Hitchcock over the past two weeks. Since I don't have an outstanding bill or anything from them, there's only one reason they'd be calling. Back during my five days of unemployment between LSI and Rugers, I filled out an application online there for housekeeping. I'd applied there a few times before, like when I first moved up here, and they never got back to me. I figured I ought to have a back-up in case Rugers didn't pan out. But three months later, I really like it at Rugers, and Hitchcock is just too little too late, I guess. Nice to know they were interested, though.
I've come a long way since I started at Stop N Shop in 1987 for $3.55 an hour.
When I left the hospital for LSI (actually, the temp company was who I worked for first), I took a huge pay cut, and I worked for a few months at bargain basement rates. Then I was hired on at Level 3, which was reasonable money for how new I was. I had to fight tooth and nail for level 3A, and then while on first shift was bumped up to Level 4 along with Starr fairly easily. And I stayed at Level 4 for the next four and a half years. That's a good level, and it means that you know your job and you're good at it, but it was also a dead end. Unlike at the hospital, where you get a merit raise every year (even though I got shafted during my last one), at LSI everybody at the same associate level went up the same amount. So Starr and I were making the exact same money, which was fine. But I hit that level in 2002, so anybody who started in 2005 and got to that level by 2007 was making the same amount as we were, and that never set well with me. I gave a long oratory on that subject to Sue (that day that she and I had the first two big dust-ups) and then repeated it for Bob later on. I'm not all about the money--respect is more important to me--but I do like to be paid what I'm worth, and I was worth more.
After seven years at LSI I was making $12.75 an hour. That isn't terrible money, but you'd expect something more, wouldn't you? After seven years? I don't remember what I was making at FMC when I left, but it was up there. While I thought I could do better elsewhere, that was just enough to make starting over somewhere else a little scary. I interviewed at Rugers and they offered me $9.50 an hour to start in assembly. Between the travel, and the getting up in the middle of the night, and that $3 pay cut, I was really nervous. But the overtime made up for the paycut, and there was talk that after the 90 day review there would be a pay review. So really I only had to make it through the summer, and then I'd see what happened.
Today Mike summoned me into the office and I found out about my new pay rate. Starting this week I'm making $11.50 an hour. It went up two dollars (TWO DOLLARS! I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!), which to my mind is pretty damn good. I don't think I've ever been shot up $2 in one shot ever.
So let's review: LSI after seven years--$12.75. Rugers after three months--$11.50. I took a scary chance, and it worked out in every possible way.
I've also had four hits on my caller ID from Dartmouth-Hitchcock over the past two weeks. Since I don't have an outstanding bill or anything from them, there's only one reason they'd be calling. Back during my five days of unemployment between LSI and Rugers, I filled out an application online there for housekeeping. I'd applied there a few times before, like when I first moved up here, and they never got back to me. I figured I ought to have a back-up in case Rugers didn't pan out. But three months later, I really like it at Rugers, and Hitchcock is just too little too late, I guess. Nice to know they were interested, though.
I've come a long way since I started at Stop N Shop in 1987 for $3.55 an hour.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Long Way to Go and a Short Time to Get There
I started Saturday at 3:30 AM, as I was working my third straight Saturday morning. I just can't say no. I'm either dedicated or greedy. Something. Anyway, it was a really easy day. Mark and I worked on repairs the whole time while Eric and Amanda did something else. Mark is the really friendly bodybuilder guy I mentioned before. He's 6'4'' and 285 lbs, and looks uncannily like Kurt Angle. He also talks pretty much non-stop, which takes a lot of the pressure off of me, and I like that. He and I make a pretty good team, too. During the morning I also got my 90 day review from Barney, which was excellent in all categories, so I'm no longer a probationary guy. I am now a real life Mini-14 assembly dude. As I understand it, there's supposed to be a wage review that comes with this, too, but it didn't come up yesterday. I think that has to go through Mike anyway, so we'll see what tomorrow brings.
After work I came home and tooled around on the computer a bit and watched a few wrestling matches on dvd. I'd gotten a call from Modern Myths on Friday saying that something they'd ordered for me had arrived. That's the comic store in Northhampton, Mass, which I first visited last week while down there for my birthday, and it is one awesome place. I'd put it on par with the comic store in Bryn Mawr, which is pretty high praise. Anyway, the original plan was to shoot down there Friday night and pick it up, because it was something I'd been looking forward to, but after I got home from being social (that's another post), and listened to the message, I ended up crashing unexpectedly while taking a breather. When I woke up, it was 9:00, so those plans were out.
The new plan was to head there in the early afternoon. Before I could leave, though, I got a call from another friend and ended up hanging out with him for a while. In the back of my mind was still the plan to shoot down to Mass, because on Saturdays that store is open until 11 PM, which seems absurd, but it works for me. When I got back here, though, it was 8:55, and I spent a whole minute changing into better clothes and calculating whether or not I thought I could make it there by the deadline ... and then I was off. If I didn't go then I'd have gone on Sunday afternoon, which would have burned the whole day pretty much.
I had plenty of gas and already had an ice coffee handy, so I didn't need to stop for anything, and I made it a straight shot to NoHo. I got there at ten of 11. Plenty of time. I picked up my package, which was 'Empowered' vol. 1 by Adam Warren, and I was on my way. By this time I needed gas, so I hit a local mini-mart, and somehow parked the wrong way around from the pump to where my gas tank is. You'd think after having this car for nine years I wouldn't make that sort of mistake, huh?
I also had another thing I was in the mood to do, since I was ...kinda... in the neighborhood. Ah yes, I went to Church. Specifically, I went to Anthony's, which as you know is down in South Hadley. With my gas tank out of the way I'd carefully arranged things so that I could safely blow every dollar left in my wallet, in case things got hectic. It wasn't a big amount or anything, because I didn't feel the need to have a huge night there, but sometimes things happen. At any rate, it wouldn't come anywhere close to the all-time one night record of $180 that one night in 1995. I came close during the latter portion of 1998 to topping that, but the record stands. Hopefully forever.
Considering I recently broke off with my last girlfriend after a few months of her dicking me around, it wasn't so much IF I would eventually hit Church but WHEN. What were you expecting? I was also curious to see how Church would be with this new version of me that's never existed before, and certainly not during the heavy action days when I was going every week. Call it an experiment.
I have to say that for the most part I was ... indifferent. This time wasn't quite the religious experience that time in 95 was, nor was I as keenly interested as during the Chrissy days, nor was I in as desperate need as the dark days. I was there and it was ok, but for the most part I didn't have my socks knocked off. The first set was pretty tame, actually. It's a given that if the set that you walk in on is a bit below par, then the next set will be a blowaway. Sure enough, there were some definite hotties in the next group. My first dollar went to a hijacker, though. I wasn't even looking at her, didn't attract her attention, didn't have any money up, but she started dancing for me anyway. Handcuffed by my own rules, I stuck a dollar up there. She tried it again later, but I didn't fall for it.
I covered most of the rules and such in my other Church post, but there are some other standby things to look for in almost every strip club.
--Poverty Row. There's always a section of the stage, which at Anthony's is forked, so there's always one fork, where nobody is putting up money. As a consequence, that fork doesn't attract attention from the high end girls, who know where to go for the money. When I sat down, I was at the edge of a Poverty Row, but soon enough a lot of those seats turned over. Nevertheless, I still wasn't at the best place, which would have been over near the middle.
--Sinkhole. This is where a dancer gets stuck, due to some high-roller with a big wad of singles, who keeps the dancer there for the whole set. Sadly, I was two seats down from just such a sinkhole. This dancer seemed to have some relationship to the customer, which probably accounts for it. Even so, that's bad form in my book. I never tried to do that with Chrissy, or with my later favorites (like Catalina or Ande), and it just bugs me. Something like that affects business for the rest of us nearby, too, who are looking to either get a dance from that stripper (I was) or to attract another stripper into that area (I was).
There's also, every time, at least one drag queen looking wreck, who is inexplicably popular with the other guys.
There were a few cute ones, yes, but none who blew me away. Even so, there were a few that I would have taken a lapdance from, but starting as late as I was there there wasn't enough time to get anything going. One did ask me, early on, but she wasn't one I was interested in so I said "maybe later", which is my polite way of blowing her off. I'd say there were prolly four others there I'd have taken the dance with.
But overall, there was no knocking of socks by way of the stage. However, we haven't yet accounted for the single greatest improvement that Anthony's has made over the old days: the shot girl. I don't know her name, but MY GOD, the hotness. She looked like Amanda Bynes, but with a huge rack. And she walks around with a tray of shots, and for $5 she gives you a lapdance right there, and then puts the shot down the front of her shirt for you to pull out with your teeth. Did I say lapdance? It's more like she molests you. For five bucks? Oh, you betcha. Let me tell you, it was fantastic. Later on, I took a second shot, and this girl rode me so hard then I have bruises on my legs today. No kidding. If I lived in Greenfield still I would have just kept taking shots, but I was looking at a 100+ mile drive home, and since I was staying until closing that meant I'd have been up about 23 hours, and I also had two Coronas ... so I left it at those two shots. Next time. Next time.
Closing time was at 2AM. It was definitely a low power night because it was looking like I was going to walk out of there with more than $40 left. I know from past experience that the last half hour is hard to get a lapdance in, but if one of the four happened around I would have gone for it. I'm not sure when the last time I went to Church and left without at least one lapdance was, but it might be 1993. That clock was reset last night, which was fine. There wasn't the one stripper to die for that I usually find there, so I'm good. I'd have happily spent that $20 on the shot girl for a lapdance out back even without the shot. I mean, who cares about the shot anyway? You know what I want.
On the way out I had the usual hotdog from the guy outside, which was the first actual food I'd eaten all day. Like always, the Anthony's hotdog was awesome. Yeah, now I had to drive home. I wasn't worried about the alcohol, because two Coronas and two shots is nothing compared to what I used to put down and drive home, even with this longer distance. It was the hour. 2AM isn't really that late for me, but I'd been up since 3:30 that morning, and it's a long way home from South Hadley. I was wide awake leaving the bar, but I knew by Brattleboro or Springfield I'd be dogging it. After doing it a few hundred times that drive north is a long slog, especially those last four exits, which are like 10 miles apart each. It's boring, which isn't great for driving tired.
Sure enough, by Springfield I was barely hanging on. Luckily, I'd stopped and picked up two of my three secret weapons: chocolate milk and a pack of smokes. Say what you will, but taking that first drag gave me some new life. The third weapon was my music. During this round trip south and home I went through The Donna's new CD (which sadly doesn't include their cover of "The Safety Dance"), Evanescence, Kittie, and Lady Sovereign, most of which kept me active. The main problem is that it was chilly out, so I had the heat on, and driving with the heat on always makes me a bit drowsy, so when I started to fade I put the window all the way down, and the blast of cold shocked me alert.
All told, I got back here at 4:05. I was pooped, but it was all worth it. There was a whole lot of stuff packed into this one day.
It was great.
After work I came home and tooled around on the computer a bit and watched a few wrestling matches on dvd. I'd gotten a call from Modern Myths on Friday saying that something they'd ordered for me had arrived. That's the comic store in Northhampton, Mass, which I first visited last week while down there for my birthday, and it is one awesome place. I'd put it on par with the comic store in Bryn Mawr, which is pretty high praise. Anyway, the original plan was to shoot down there Friday night and pick it up, because it was something I'd been looking forward to, but after I got home from being social (that's another post), and listened to the message, I ended up crashing unexpectedly while taking a breather. When I woke up, it was 9:00, so those plans were out.
The new plan was to head there in the early afternoon. Before I could leave, though, I got a call from another friend and ended up hanging out with him for a while. In the back of my mind was still the plan to shoot down to Mass, because on Saturdays that store is open until 11 PM, which seems absurd, but it works for me. When I got back here, though, it was 8:55, and I spent a whole minute changing into better clothes and calculating whether or not I thought I could make it there by the deadline ... and then I was off. If I didn't go then I'd have gone on Sunday afternoon, which would have burned the whole day pretty much.
I had plenty of gas and already had an ice coffee handy, so I didn't need to stop for anything, and I made it a straight shot to NoHo. I got there at ten of 11. Plenty of time. I picked up my package, which was 'Empowered' vol. 1 by Adam Warren, and I was on my way. By this time I needed gas, so I hit a local mini-mart, and somehow parked the wrong way around from the pump to where my gas tank is. You'd think after having this car for nine years I wouldn't make that sort of mistake, huh?
I also had another thing I was in the mood to do, since I was ...kinda... in the neighborhood. Ah yes, I went to Church. Specifically, I went to Anthony's, which as you know is down in South Hadley. With my gas tank out of the way I'd carefully arranged things so that I could safely blow every dollar left in my wallet, in case things got hectic. It wasn't a big amount or anything, because I didn't feel the need to have a huge night there, but sometimes things happen. At any rate, it wouldn't come anywhere close to the all-time one night record of $180 that one night in 1995. I came close during the latter portion of 1998 to topping that, but the record stands. Hopefully forever.
Considering I recently broke off with my last girlfriend after a few months of her dicking me around, it wasn't so much IF I would eventually hit Church but WHEN. What were you expecting? I was also curious to see how Church would be with this new version of me that's never existed before, and certainly not during the heavy action days when I was going every week. Call it an experiment.
I have to say that for the most part I was ... indifferent. This time wasn't quite the religious experience that time in 95 was, nor was I as keenly interested as during the Chrissy days, nor was I in as desperate need as the dark days. I was there and it was ok, but for the most part I didn't have my socks knocked off. The first set was pretty tame, actually. It's a given that if the set that you walk in on is a bit below par, then the next set will be a blowaway. Sure enough, there were some definite hotties in the next group. My first dollar went to a hijacker, though. I wasn't even looking at her, didn't attract her attention, didn't have any money up, but she started dancing for me anyway. Handcuffed by my own rules, I stuck a dollar up there. She tried it again later, but I didn't fall for it.
I covered most of the rules and such in my other Church post, but there are some other standby things to look for in almost every strip club.
--Poverty Row. There's always a section of the stage, which at Anthony's is forked, so there's always one fork, where nobody is putting up money. As a consequence, that fork doesn't attract attention from the high end girls, who know where to go for the money. When I sat down, I was at the edge of a Poverty Row, but soon enough a lot of those seats turned over. Nevertheless, I still wasn't at the best place, which would have been over near the middle.
--Sinkhole. This is where a dancer gets stuck, due to some high-roller with a big wad of singles, who keeps the dancer there for the whole set. Sadly, I was two seats down from just such a sinkhole. This dancer seemed to have some relationship to the customer, which probably accounts for it. Even so, that's bad form in my book. I never tried to do that with Chrissy, or with my later favorites (like Catalina or Ande), and it just bugs me. Something like that affects business for the rest of us nearby, too, who are looking to either get a dance from that stripper (I was) or to attract another stripper into that area (I was).
There's also, every time, at least one drag queen looking wreck, who is inexplicably popular with the other guys.
There were a few cute ones, yes, but none who blew me away. Even so, there were a few that I would have taken a lapdance from, but starting as late as I was there there wasn't enough time to get anything going. One did ask me, early on, but she wasn't one I was interested in so I said "maybe later", which is my polite way of blowing her off. I'd say there were prolly four others there I'd have taken the dance with.
But overall, there was no knocking of socks by way of the stage. However, we haven't yet accounted for the single greatest improvement that Anthony's has made over the old days: the shot girl. I don't know her name, but MY GOD, the hotness. She looked like Amanda Bynes, but with a huge rack. And she walks around with a tray of shots, and for $5 she gives you a lapdance right there, and then puts the shot down the front of her shirt for you to pull out with your teeth. Did I say lapdance? It's more like she molests you. For five bucks? Oh, you betcha. Let me tell you, it was fantastic. Later on, I took a second shot, and this girl rode me so hard then I have bruises on my legs today. No kidding. If I lived in Greenfield still I would have just kept taking shots, but I was looking at a 100+ mile drive home, and since I was staying until closing that meant I'd have been up about 23 hours, and I also had two Coronas ... so I left it at those two shots. Next time. Next time.
Closing time was at 2AM. It was definitely a low power night because it was looking like I was going to walk out of there with more than $40 left. I know from past experience that the last half hour is hard to get a lapdance in, but if one of the four happened around I would have gone for it. I'm not sure when the last time I went to Church and left without at least one lapdance was, but it might be 1993. That clock was reset last night, which was fine. There wasn't the one stripper to die for that I usually find there, so I'm good. I'd have happily spent that $20 on the shot girl for a lapdance out back even without the shot. I mean, who cares about the shot anyway? You know what I want.
On the way out I had the usual hotdog from the guy outside, which was the first actual food I'd eaten all day. Like always, the Anthony's hotdog was awesome. Yeah, now I had to drive home. I wasn't worried about the alcohol, because two Coronas and two shots is nothing compared to what I used to put down and drive home, even with this longer distance. It was the hour. 2AM isn't really that late for me, but I'd been up since 3:30 that morning, and it's a long way home from South Hadley. I was wide awake leaving the bar, but I knew by Brattleboro or Springfield I'd be dogging it. After doing it a few hundred times that drive north is a long slog, especially those last four exits, which are like 10 miles apart each. It's boring, which isn't great for driving tired.
Sure enough, by Springfield I was barely hanging on. Luckily, I'd stopped and picked up two of my three secret weapons: chocolate milk and a pack of smokes. Say what you will, but taking that first drag gave me some new life. The third weapon was my music. During this round trip south and home I went through The Donna's new CD (which sadly doesn't include their cover of "The Safety Dance"), Evanescence, Kittie, and Lady Sovereign, most of which kept me active. The main problem is that it was chilly out, so I had the heat on, and driving with the heat on always makes me a bit drowsy, so when I started to fade I put the window all the way down, and the blast of cold shocked me alert.
All told, I got back here at 4:05. I was pooped, but it was all worth it. There was a whole lot of stuff packed into this one day.
It was great.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Diary of a Virgo, volume 14
If you use email, you have a spam filter. You block out the sales pitches, fake information, and random noise that constantly flow toward your inbox. In the coming week, I urge you to expand your concept of what constitutes spam by shielding yourself against all the other junk food for thought that besieges you. Be ruthlessly discerning about the toxins that spew from the radio, TV, Web, newspapers, and magazines. Minimize your contact with narcissists who think "conversation" consists of you soaking up their compulsive self-revelations. You might even erect a psychic spam filter to repel the fearful images that sometimes bubble up from your subconscious mind.
I take care of some of this with my answering machine and caller ID.
Speaking of, guess who's called me three times since she left. I haven't been here for the calls, and I haven't called her back yet either. I'm hoping she thinks I'm out whoring it up, because that would tickle my funnybone.
I take care of some of this with my answering machine and caller ID.
Speaking of, guess who's called me three times since she left. I haven't been here for the calls, and I haven't called her back yet either. I'm hoping she thinks I'm out whoring it up, because that would tickle my funnybone.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Time of the Season
I've been giving some thought the past few weeks to the overall structure of the book, and specifically how it should breakdown into releasable chunks of story. I know I mentioned that the plan was to release the new versions of chapters 1 through 4 into the wild, but after looking through the material I've found that the book does break down into more natural arcs, and I'm going to release the chapters on a revised plan. Once again showing the huge influence that television has had on me, I've broken the chapters down into Seasons.
Season One: Chapters 1-5.
Season Two: Chapters 6-13.
Season Three: Chapters 14-TBD.
So the next release will be 'All Fall Down'(working title), Season One, which is only one chapter further than originally planned. Chapter 5 is a better leave off spot than 4, and I really think Emma needs to be back in the story mix before I break off the story. It also allows me to flesh out the supporting cast a little more, too.
Season two comprises more chapters than the first season, but it's offset by the huge length of Chapter 2, so it kinda balances out. There's no doubt about where to cut off season two, since Chapter 13 ends on a huge double-barrelled cliffhanger ... and one of my favorite moments in the whole book.
I don't have the exact end of Season Three yet, only because I left off in the middle of Chapter 17. In looking through that chapter again, it's very long and a ton of things happen in it, causing me to think I might be better off breaking off the last part and making Chapter 18 out of it. In that part of the book I finally bring in Lindsey(Jacquie) as a new member of the work staff, I bring in Kelsie(Casey) as a third waitress at the Diner, and Kelly and Alyssa have a very important conversation that changes everything. The final scene of 17 was going to be a scene written from Alyssa's viewpoint, in the first person. But I now believe that it should stand as it's own chapter, and then Chapter 19 deals with the aftermath and such. So we'll say that I'm in the middle of Chapter 18 then.
When I do up the packet for release I'm looking at five bundles this time: one for mom and dad, one for Colleen, one for Guinevere and her book club, one for me, and another one that I might be sending out ... but that depends on the response I get back from a letter to one of my favorite teachers, which I haven't written yet. If I get a favorable response back from that letter I'm going to write a second letter offering to let her read what I have, but either way I'm feeling very positive about this book.
As far as the writing goes, Chapter 4 is in the can and I've already jumped headlong into Chapter 5. Give me another week or so and I'll start the publishing work.
Woo hoo.
Season One: Chapters 1-5.
Season Two: Chapters 6-13.
Season Three: Chapters 14-TBD.
So the next release will be 'All Fall Down'(working title), Season One, which is only one chapter further than originally planned. Chapter 5 is a better leave off spot than 4, and I really think Emma needs to be back in the story mix before I break off the story. It also allows me to flesh out the supporting cast a little more, too.
Season two comprises more chapters than the first season, but it's offset by the huge length of Chapter 2, so it kinda balances out. There's no doubt about where to cut off season two, since Chapter 13 ends on a huge double-barrelled cliffhanger ... and one of my favorite moments in the whole book.
I don't have the exact end of Season Three yet, only because I left off in the middle of Chapter 17. In looking through that chapter again, it's very long and a ton of things happen in it, causing me to think I might be better off breaking off the last part and making Chapter 18 out of it. In that part of the book I finally bring in Lindsey(Jacquie) as a new member of the work staff, I bring in Kelsie(Casey) as a third waitress at the Diner, and Kelly and Alyssa have a very important conversation that changes everything. The final scene of 17 was going to be a scene written from Alyssa's viewpoint, in the first person. But I now believe that it should stand as it's own chapter, and then Chapter 19 deals with the aftermath and such. So we'll say that I'm in the middle of Chapter 18 then.
When I do up the packet for release I'm looking at five bundles this time: one for mom and dad, one for Colleen, one for Guinevere and her book club, one for me, and another one that I might be sending out ... but that depends on the response I get back from a letter to one of my favorite teachers, which I haven't written yet. If I get a favorable response back from that letter I'm going to write a second letter offering to let her read what I have, but either way I'm feeling very positive about this book.
As far as the writing goes, Chapter 4 is in the can and I've already jumped headlong into Chapter 5. Give me another week or so and I'll start the publishing work.
Woo hoo.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
The Ascension Begins Now
It's something of an annual tradition for me to take stock of my life come birthday time. A lot of people do that on New Year's, but I'm just more birthday-centric in my thinking as far as this goes. In past blogging years the reports haven't always been so upbeat or positive, even though I still made a joyous celebration of my big day, but the truth is that I spent a lot of time unhappy, not doing what I wanted to do, and unsure of how to break out of the huge rut I was in. A lot has already been made here in this blog about how I escaped the rut, with the help of a certain redhead, and I won't go over that same territory yet again, except to say that things are better now.
I'm happy. Granted, everything isn't perfect yet, but trying to repair fifteen years of depression and self-destruction over the course of one summer is an impossible task. And so, I remain a work in progress. The project that is my reawakening and self-reinvention will be an ongoing thing at least through the end of the year, if not longer depending on what else I decide to do with myself. There is a school of thought that something of this nature should be a continuous project with no end to it, and I tend to agree. There will always probably be more I can do to improve myself. Keeping that in mind, I'm not going to make myself crazy because everything isn't perfect by some arbitrary deadline. As long as things keep moving forward and I remain free of the strangling web of inertia, that'll be a good thing.
As I've mentioned before, I have a lot of plans for what I'd like to do with my life. The job I'm at now is tough and demanding, and often leaves me exhausted, but I like it, and I think it's a place I can stay for a good long while. Earlier this year, at LSI, I used to dread Mondays so badly that it would ruin my Sundays, because I could think of little else except having to go back to that shithole the next day, and I would get so worked up that my stomach would be upset by this time of the night. All that's gone. I don't dread tomorrow and the upset stomachs are a thing of the past. Best of all, I can enjoy myself on a Sunday afternoon.
But this job isn't my destiny. I will finish this book. The groove I'm in right now is one of the best I've ever gotten myself into, and I'm happier with the written pages than I've ever been. This book isn't the end of it, though. I have another book in mind that I'd like to write, and ideas for possibly three more. On top of that, I would love to get a regular gig writing a monthly comic book. I don't care if it's a creator owned deal where I'm working on the characters I created in the other blog, which I still believe are viable. I don't care if it's working for Marvel Comics on Captain America or DC Comics on the Justice League. All I want is to play in one of those playgrounds and write something that'll make some little kid feel as happy as I did when I was five and opened up a new issue of the Avengers. There's a ton of things I could do. It's all ahead of me.
I still want a baby. I can be patient. This will take some time, I know. But that isn't going away. It's going to happen.
That's the big stuff. There are other, little, pieces that I'm also working on, but I'll talk about those as they come up.
Meanwhile, the larger picture is starting to fall into place. Back last winter things looked pretty bleak. I was stuck at that job with no escape in sight, I wasn't writing much or well, there were no romantic prospects anywhere to be found, I hated myself, and I'd even lost touch with my best friend Guinevere. I'm sure I was unpleasant to be around and not easy to talk to. Probably around February, when I broke my little toe, was when I hit rock bottom. I was angry, bitter, miserable, and circling the drain. But with a little help from some key people I've managed to turn that all around, and I feel better than I've felt in a very long time.
I am back on track. As good as Year 36 finished out, it's only the beginning. Year 37 is going to be huge.
Keep reading. You'll see.
I'm happy. Granted, everything isn't perfect yet, but trying to repair fifteen years of depression and self-destruction over the course of one summer is an impossible task. And so, I remain a work in progress. The project that is my reawakening and self-reinvention will be an ongoing thing at least through the end of the year, if not longer depending on what else I decide to do with myself. There is a school of thought that something of this nature should be a continuous project with no end to it, and I tend to agree. There will always probably be more I can do to improve myself. Keeping that in mind, I'm not going to make myself crazy because everything isn't perfect by some arbitrary deadline. As long as things keep moving forward and I remain free of the strangling web of inertia, that'll be a good thing.
As I've mentioned before, I have a lot of plans for what I'd like to do with my life. The job I'm at now is tough and demanding, and often leaves me exhausted, but I like it, and I think it's a place I can stay for a good long while. Earlier this year, at LSI, I used to dread Mondays so badly that it would ruin my Sundays, because I could think of little else except having to go back to that shithole the next day, and I would get so worked up that my stomach would be upset by this time of the night. All that's gone. I don't dread tomorrow and the upset stomachs are a thing of the past. Best of all, I can enjoy myself on a Sunday afternoon.
But this job isn't my destiny. I will finish this book. The groove I'm in right now is one of the best I've ever gotten myself into, and I'm happier with the written pages than I've ever been. This book isn't the end of it, though. I have another book in mind that I'd like to write, and ideas for possibly three more. On top of that, I would love to get a regular gig writing a monthly comic book. I don't care if it's a creator owned deal where I'm working on the characters I created in the other blog, which I still believe are viable. I don't care if it's working for Marvel Comics on Captain America or DC Comics on the Justice League. All I want is to play in one of those playgrounds and write something that'll make some little kid feel as happy as I did when I was five and opened up a new issue of the Avengers. There's a ton of things I could do. It's all ahead of me.
I still want a baby. I can be patient. This will take some time, I know. But that isn't going away. It's going to happen.
That's the big stuff. There are other, little, pieces that I'm also working on, but I'll talk about those as they come up.
Meanwhile, the larger picture is starting to fall into place. Back last winter things looked pretty bleak. I was stuck at that job with no escape in sight, I wasn't writing much or well, there were no romantic prospects anywhere to be found, I hated myself, and I'd even lost touch with my best friend Guinevere. I'm sure I was unpleasant to be around and not easy to talk to. Probably around February, when I broke my little toe, was when I hit rock bottom. I was angry, bitter, miserable, and circling the drain. But with a little help from some key people I've managed to turn that all around, and I feel better than I've felt in a very long time.
I am back on track. As good as Year 36 finished out, it's only the beginning. Year 37 is going to be huge.
Keep reading. You'll see.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Taking the Long Way Around
This post will be something of a mixed bag. Rather than my usual direct focus on one topic, I'm going to hit a few different things. It's kind of a queue-clearing type thing you might say. I have a couple other posts in mind, but I need the time and ambition to do them justice, which I don't have available to me currently. They will be done this weekend, though. I'll get back to that.
This week was a brutal work week. They are after us, on top of us, and all over us to get us up to that elusive goal of 300 guns a day. Engineers are working on the problem with lousy parts that we get from the machine shop. And our cell is still being worked on with the intention of turning us into instruments of mass production, with mixed results so far. They seem to have fixed the headspace issue that has been making bolt fit the logjam, but there's still a problem with the firing pins and the pre-fire reading they give. So now the bolt building area is the clog in the drain. Guess where I worked in the cell today.
That's right. I was moved from my cushy bolt lock spot over to building bolts, and it was harsh and sucky. I've done that before, and it isn't the actual building of the bolts that sucks, because once I get into the rhythm it isn't so bad. It's making them, having them then fail pre-fire, and having to rip them apart and try a new pin that makes it fucking suck. That isn't my fault, but if you know me, you know that something like this will make me crazy. Plus, it's frustrating to have people waiting on you while you just can't get the goddam thing to give a good reading. By the end of the day I was going a bit cuckoo, which was commented on by Jim (the bolt-fitter). I've been the 'quiet one' in the cell since I started, and today I was cursing up a thunderstorm, which he thought was hilarious. Me? Not so much. But as aggravating as today was I toughed it out.
At the end of today we did somewhere in the neighborhood of 130 guns, which considering how much I was struggling with the bolts, isn't so bad. If all the bolts I made today passed pre-fire, we would have been well over 200 guns. Well, maybe next time.
By the time I got back here afterwords I was exhausted. Yesterday I just crashed. I sat down to watch a little TV, and never even made it to 5:00. The next thing I knew it was 9:00, so all the things I wanted to do with my afternoon/early evening went down the tubes. I was bound and determined that would not happen today, so I forced myself to keep moving, even though I was dead tired.
Then I went to Borders. Exhaustion has put me behind schedule on Chapter 4, but during lunch some day or other this week I took a look through the notebook pages, and the Kim scene was smaller than I thought it was, and the concluding Alyssa scene isn't terribly lengthy either. The distance could be made up. The mission today was to hammer the crap out of the material as hard as I could hammer it. The Kim scene went down hard. It never stood a chance. Then I plowed right into the Alyssa scene, and even though I fell short of finishing it, I did enough so that tomorrow sometime I should be able to slam it out and meet the goal. That's pretty damn good.
Tomorrow a 20 year tradition comes to an end. I'm going into work for 5 to 10. Up to this point I've never ever worked on my birthday, and in fact I've gone to great lengths to avoid shifts on that day, but being as I'm still new there, and being as overtime money is hard to turn down, I said I'd come in. Saturdays are usually easy money, and I get out early, so it's really no big. After that I'm heading back to Massachusetts, where the promise of a chocolate cake has drawn me like a moth to the flame. As usual, I don't have any huge plans for my birthday, and I'm short one special person to celebrate it with, but there never needs to be hugs plans for me to enjoy the day. It's my day, and even if there was no one in the world to wish me a happy birthday I would still treat it like it's special.
One of the things I always do come birthday time is take stock of myself and my life, which is one of the two posts I have planned to write, which I will find time to write sometime this weekend. The other is something a little more fun, which I've been thinking over about since Jen left, which I'm going to try and fit in somewhere this weekend, too.
At any rate, happy birthday to me! Woo hoo.
This week was a brutal work week. They are after us, on top of us, and all over us to get us up to that elusive goal of 300 guns a day. Engineers are working on the problem with lousy parts that we get from the machine shop. And our cell is still being worked on with the intention of turning us into instruments of mass production, with mixed results so far. They seem to have fixed the headspace issue that has been making bolt fit the logjam, but there's still a problem with the firing pins and the pre-fire reading they give. So now the bolt building area is the clog in the drain. Guess where I worked in the cell today.
That's right. I was moved from my cushy bolt lock spot over to building bolts, and it was harsh and sucky. I've done that before, and it isn't the actual building of the bolts that sucks, because once I get into the rhythm it isn't so bad. It's making them, having them then fail pre-fire, and having to rip them apart and try a new pin that makes it fucking suck. That isn't my fault, but if you know me, you know that something like this will make me crazy. Plus, it's frustrating to have people waiting on you while you just can't get the goddam thing to give a good reading. By the end of the day I was going a bit cuckoo, which was commented on by Jim (the bolt-fitter). I've been the 'quiet one' in the cell since I started, and today I was cursing up a thunderstorm, which he thought was hilarious. Me? Not so much. But as aggravating as today was I toughed it out.
At the end of today we did somewhere in the neighborhood of 130 guns, which considering how much I was struggling with the bolts, isn't so bad. If all the bolts I made today passed pre-fire, we would have been well over 200 guns. Well, maybe next time.
By the time I got back here afterwords I was exhausted. Yesterday I just crashed. I sat down to watch a little TV, and never even made it to 5:00. The next thing I knew it was 9:00, so all the things I wanted to do with my afternoon/early evening went down the tubes. I was bound and determined that would not happen today, so I forced myself to keep moving, even though I was dead tired.
Then I went to Borders. Exhaustion has put me behind schedule on Chapter 4, but during lunch some day or other this week I took a look through the notebook pages, and the Kim scene was smaller than I thought it was, and the concluding Alyssa scene isn't terribly lengthy either. The distance could be made up. The mission today was to hammer the crap out of the material as hard as I could hammer it. The Kim scene went down hard. It never stood a chance. Then I plowed right into the Alyssa scene, and even though I fell short of finishing it, I did enough so that tomorrow sometime I should be able to slam it out and meet the goal. That's pretty damn good.
Tomorrow a 20 year tradition comes to an end. I'm going into work for 5 to 10. Up to this point I've never ever worked on my birthday, and in fact I've gone to great lengths to avoid shifts on that day, but being as I'm still new there, and being as overtime money is hard to turn down, I said I'd come in. Saturdays are usually easy money, and I get out early, so it's really no big. After that I'm heading back to Massachusetts, where the promise of a chocolate cake has drawn me like a moth to the flame. As usual, I don't have any huge plans for my birthday, and I'm short one special person to celebrate it with, but there never needs to be hugs plans for me to enjoy the day. It's my day, and even if there was no one in the world to wish me a happy birthday I would still treat it like it's special.
One of the things I always do come birthday time is take stock of myself and my life, which is one of the two posts I have planned to write, which I will find time to write sometime this weekend. The other is something a little more fun, which I've been thinking over about since Jen left, which I'm going to try and fit in somewhere this weekend, too.
At any rate, happy birthday to me! Woo hoo.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Diary of a Virgo, volume 13
Writing in Salon.com, Scott Rosenberg recalled how in his youth he loved to play the fantasy role-playing game Dungeons & Dragons. "You'd have to choose not one but two 'alignments' for your character," he mused. "Good and evil, of course, but also 'law' and 'chaos.' And among the people I ran with, 'chaotic/good' was the thing to be, because it let you trust other people and still have fun." Your assignment in the coming week, Virgo, is to adopt the "chaotic/good" approach for the character you will be playing in your actual life.
Chaotic good? That sounds about right.
I can do that.
Chaotic good? That sounds about right.
I can do that.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Calliope 'n Me Down Like Peanut Butter & Jelly
Last week, perhaps because she had some advance knowledge that I was going to go through some heavy stuff, Calliope took a week vacation. Of course, I was also very distracted by the US Open, but the truth is that I didn't feel the fire, and I didn't hear that familiar sweet voice ("Come play with me."), and as a consequence I didn't get any writing done at all. I left Chapter 4 stranded in the middle where it was the last time I spoke on the subject, and I barely set foot in Borders. Well, no more.
Calliope has returned. Not only that, my focus on the book has returned with a vengeance. My first time back at Borders I hit the Laurel and Kelly telephone conversation scene, and finished it in one big bite. That was encouraging. It isn't a long scene or anything, but I didn't want to leave before it was done, and that shows me that I'm getting into the swing again. The scene is one I'm fond of because of the relationship between those two characters. Laurel is, of course, based on my little sister, but it's also a case where when the story became a novel that I amplified things a little bit. Laurel is to the point and in your face a little bit more than Colleen typically is (except for that one time I really pissed her off, which she doesn't remember), but on the other hand, in the book Laurel is caught in the middle of a family conflict (which I totally made up for the book), and if something like that were to really happen she would probably try to intervene some way or another.
Today I hit the first Kelly and Ben at the Diner scene, and again finished it in one big bite. Maybe this scene has just benefitted from my going over it a few times, but it fell together easier than spreading warm butter on hot toast. It does help that Ben is based on Dan, and I know the way he thinks and talks very well. This scene could have come straight out of one of our actual conversations at the Whatley Diner circa 1998 for all the give and take those two do in those pages. It has a great flow. It's really just Ben questioning Kelly about Alyssa and then the two of them going over the details with a fine-toothed comb, like Dan and me totally would have done in real life.
That leaves, for this chapter, only the Kim scene and the second appearance of Alyssa. If things continue at this pace (allowing myself two days for the Alyssa scene), I should be done with the chapter by this weekend before I head to Massachusetts again (because it's my birthday). That's the goal, so that I can then use my dad's better computer to print out a few copies. I'm hoping that this time, given the complete shift in the space-time continuum that's occurred around me this year, that I can get my mom reading that material again. She mentioned while I was visiting her during her recovery from hip surgery that she intended to start reading it again, so this seems like the perfect time to test those waters.
Overall, I feel better about the whole book enchilada than I have in ages. I think now that I'm playing in my own Bizarro version of the upper valley that things are pulling together a whole lot better. I think it holds up. And I'm just so proud of what I've done so far.
Welcome home, Calliope.
Calliope has returned. Not only that, my focus on the book has returned with a vengeance. My first time back at Borders I hit the Laurel and Kelly telephone conversation scene, and finished it in one big bite. That was encouraging. It isn't a long scene or anything, but I didn't want to leave before it was done, and that shows me that I'm getting into the swing again. The scene is one I'm fond of because of the relationship between those two characters. Laurel is, of course, based on my little sister, but it's also a case where when the story became a novel that I amplified things a little bit. Laurel is to the point and in your face a little bit more than Colleen typically is (except for that one time I really pissed her off, which she doesn't remember), but on the other hand, in the book Laurel is caught in the middle of a family conflict (which I totally made up for the book), and if something like that were to really happen she would probably try to intervene some way or another.
Today I hit the first Kelly and Ben at the Diner scene, and again finished it in one big bite. Maybe this scene has just benefitted from my going over it a few times, but it fell together easier than spreading warm butter on hot toast. It does help that Ben is based on Dan, and I know the way he thinks and talks very well. This scene could have come straight out of one of our actual conversations at the Whatley Diner circa 1998 for all the give and take those two do in those pages. It has a great flow. It's really just Ben questioning Kelly about Alyssa and then the two of them going over the details with a fine-toothed comb, like Dan and me totally would have done in real life.
That leaves, for this chapter, only the Kim scene and the second appearance of Alyssa. If things continue at this pace (allowing myself two days for the Alyssa scene), I should be done with the chapter by this weekend before I head to Massachusetts again (because it's my birthday). That's the goal, so that I can then use my dad's better computer to print out a few copies. I'm hoping that this time, given the complete shift in the space-time continuum that's occurred around me this year, that I can get my mom reading that material again. She mentioned while I was visiting her during her recovery from hip surgery that she intended to start reading it again, so this seems like the perfect time to test those waters.
Overall, I feel better about the whole book enchilada than I have in ages. I think now that I'm playing in my own Bizarro version of the upper valley that things are pulling together a whole lot better. I think it holds up. And I'm just so proud of what I've done so far.
Welcome home, Calliope.
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Ride the Wind
Jen picked me up here on Thursday. She was upbeat and still down with her crazy plans, whereas I expected her to have spazzed out by then. But things were still moving along. Nothing big was happening that day, so I'll pretty much gloss over it quick. We went to Wal-Mart, where she picked up a bunch of things she was going to need for the trip, and then she stopped and bought two pizzas for some friends of hers from the job prior to LSI. We hung out there a bit, and then she dropped me off here. The plan for Friday was that I was going to help her empty out her apartment in Newport and get everything stashed away in storage.
This was the first time I'd seen her since that night in White River Junction. Apparently, I've changed a bit. I think she was expecting me to be kind of angry and distant ... or something, I dunno ... but I was pleasant and chatty. Above that, I was funny. When I went into Borders to pick up a road atlas for her I offered to find a discount edition with only 46 states in it, and I riffed on that for a few minutes to crack her up. When I told her about going to the mud-bogs with Cooter she was especially surprised. "What has Rugers done to you?" she asked. I told her it wasn't just that place. It's the real Sparky, that's always been underneath, coming out. She just never took advantage of it.
Later on I disturbed her by getting into some talk about past sexual escapades. We started on that when I mentioned this woman at work with the most incredible ass I've ever been witness to. And Jen said I should jump on top of that. When I answered that she was married, she asked when that'd ever stopped me before. "Well, all but once. Ok, twice. Uh ... three times." And that led to my going after Lynne, who was actually still married at the time, when I had a girlfriend of my own, too. She'd heard about this before, but for some reason the details of it were weirding her out. I called her on that Friday when she started herself on a similar track. "Ok, so I talk about nailing my sister-in-law and you get all sketched out, but I've been listening to your sexcapades for six months." "I just don't expect it coming from you," she said. "Just wait until the *next* time you see me."
I guess things didn't go so hot in her planned showdown with the new landlord on Friday. When I met her at the local U-Haul facility she was all wound up, worse than I'd ever seen her before, even at LSI during the Sue Wars. Anyway, having crossed the point of no return, the plan was still in motion. There was one change of plans. Where originally I was going to help her move out all the stuff that was going into storage, her friend Todd (also from the WRJ post) had been helping her all day, so I just had to help them stick it in the storage bin. That was cool. Jen wanted me to drive the truck, and I wasn't sure that was something I could pull off without causing some property damage. Also, I can't say I'm disappointed that I didn't get to help move her couch down those stairs either.
Once that was finished, she had to get Todd to work down in Ascutney. I'd said I'd help her clean the rest of the apartment and load up her car, so I rode along. This is where we had that second helping of sex talk, and I added my name to her address book ... in case she ever writes or anything. For the most part, it was pleasant conversation. Even then I wasn't sure if I'd get into any of our issue stuff or not. I'm not sure what the point would have been anyway.
There wasn't a lot left in her apartment, but there was enough to fill her car to capacity. I took point on that and pretty much organized everything in there myself, because that's what Virgos, and especially me, are good at. While there her friend Nicole (from that night at the movies) called and they chatted for a bit. At one point of it Jen said, "Yeah, he is", in a really warm tone right after she'd told Nicole that Sparky was there helping her out. My best guess is that Nicole said, "He's a pretty nice guy."
The plan was to leave Newport, drop me off back in Lebanon, continue to her grandmother, and then later on drive down to Exeter where her mom and Sherry are. Knowing this was probably going to be our last conversation, we talked about a lot of the old stuff, focusing on LSI. We talked about that first date (it predates this blog), the first time we hung out, when the point of no-return was as far as my leaving LSI (Memorial Day weekend and our Interview Stunt), and various other highlights. If this were an episode of a sitcom it would have been one of those ones where they show all the good bits from earlier episodes. It was our clip show. By then I knew I wasn't going to get into anything heavy, and I really didn't want to anyway. She was leaving, and I was the last person she was going to see before she left, and that was good enough for me.
She was very genuinely appreciative that I would go out of my way to help her out that last night, and she thanked me at least a dozen times. When we got back to the U-Haul place where we'd left my car, we got to that moment. It was time to say goodbye. There was a very pregnant moment right then, where either of us could say anything, but we kept it light. I told her it'd been fun, she agreed, we said our goodbyes, and I got out. She headed east to her grandma's house; I went west to my apartment. It was clear, without being stated outright, that we were free of each other and the obligations and whatnot. But we did it without a big scene or hard feelings. I think we both knew it was for the best anyway. Of all my relationships, few have ever ended on good terms like this. Even though there were issues and such galore, I don't dislike her and I'm not angry with her. I'm not bitter, like I might have been only months ago. I guess I have changed.
I'm sure at some point our paths will cross again.
So I was thinking about her legacy in the big picture. I've said this before, numerous times, but she did save my life. If she hadn't come along when she did, where would I be? And where am I now instead? She definitely left me better than she found me, and she'll always be special to me for that reason. In the last six months I dug myself out of a huge rut, I found an inner strength I wasn't sure was still there, I've come to terms with a lot of the old stuff (which I wasn't sure would ever happen), and I've done a lot of thinking about what I really want to do with my life. Most of the heavy lifting I did myself, but she set the whole thing in motion.
And now, it's time to get on with things.
This was the first time I'd seen her since that night in White River Junction. Apparently, I've changed a bit. I think she was expecting me to be kind of angry and distant ... or something, I dunno ... but I was pleasant and chatty. Above that, I was funny. When I went into Borders to pick up a road atlas for her I offered to find a discount edition with only 46 states in it, and I riffed on that for a few minutes to crack her up. When I told her about going to the mud-bogs with Cooter she was especially surprised. "What has Rugers done to you?" she asked. I told her it wasn't just that place. It's the real Sparky, that's always been underneath, coming out. She just never took advantage of it.
Later on I disturbed her by getting into some talk about past sexual escapades. We started on that when I mentioned this woman at work with the most incredible ass I've ever been witness to. And Jen said I should jump on top of that. When I answered that she was married, she asked when that'd ever stopped me before. "Well, all but once. Ok, twice. Uh ... three times." And that led to my going after Lynne, who was actually still married at the time, when I had a girlfriend of my own, too. She'd heard about this before, but for some reason the details of it were weirding her out. I called her on that Friday when she started herself on a similar track. "Ok, so I talk about nailing my sister-in-law and you get all sketched out, but I've been listening to your sexcapades for six months." "I just don't expect it coming from you," she said. "Just wait until the *next* time you see me."
I guess things didn't go so hot in her planned showdown with the new landlord on Friday. When I met her at the local U-Haul facility she was all wound up, worse than I'd ever seen her before, even at LSI during the Sue Wars. Anyway, having crossed the point of no return, the plan was still in motion. There was one change of plans. Where originally I was going to help her move out all the stuff that was going into storage, her friend Todd (also from the WRJ post) had been helping her all day, so I just had to help them stick it in the storage bin. That was cool. Jen wanted me to drive the truck, and I wasn't sure that was something I could pull off without causing some property damage. Also, I can't say I'm disappointed that I didn't get to help move her couch down those stairs either.
Once that was finished, she had to get Todd to work down in Ascutney. I'd said I'd help her clean the rest of the apartment and load up her car, so I rode along. This is where we had that second helping of sex talk, and I added my name to her address book ... in case she ever writes or anything. For the most part, it was pleasant conversation. Even then I wasn't sure if I'd get into any of our issue stuff or not. I'm not sure what the point would have been anyway.
There wasn't a lot left in her apartment, but there was enough to fill her car to capacity. I took point on that and pretty much organized everything in there myself, because that's what Virgos, and especially me, are good at. While there her friend Nicole (from that night at the movies) called and they chatted for a bit. At one point of it Jen said, "Yeah, he is", in a really warm tone right after she'd told Nicole that Sparky was there helping her out. My best guess is that Nicole said, "He's a pretty nice guy."
The plan was to leave Newport, drop me off back in Lebanon, continue to her grandmother, and then later on drive down to Exeter where her mom and Sherry are. Knowing this was probably going to be our last conversation, we talked about a lot of the old stuff, focusing on LSI. We talked about that first date (it predates this blog), the first time we hung out, when the point of no-return was as far as my leaving LSI (Memorial Day weekend and our Interview Stunt), and various other highlights. If this were an episode of a sitcom it would have been one of those ones where they show all the good bits from earlier episodes. It was our clip show. By then I knew I wasn't going to get into anything heavy, and I really didn't want to anyway. She was leaving, and I was the last person she was going to see before she left, and that was good enough for me.
She was very genuinely appreciative that I would go out of my way to help her out that last night, and she thanked me at least a dozen times. When we got back to the U-Haul place where we'd left my car, we got to that moment. It was time to say goodbye. There was a very pregnant moment right then, where either of us could say anything, but we kept it light. I told her it'd been fun, she agreed, we said our goodbyes, and I got out. She headed east to her grandma's house; I went west to my apartment. It was clear, without being stated outright, that we were free of each other and the obligations and whatnot. But we did it without a big scene or hard feelings. I think we both knew it was for the best anyway. Of all my relationships, few have ever ended on good terms like this. Even though there were issues and such galore, I don't dislike her and I'm not angry with her. I'm not bitter, like I might have been only months ago. I guess I have changed.
I'm sure at some point our paths will cross again.
So I was thinking about her legacy in the big picture. I've said this before, numerous times, but she did save my life. If she hadn't come along when she did, where would I be? And where am I now instead? She definitely left me better than she found me, and she'll always be special to me for that reason. In the last six months I dug myself out of a huge rut, I found an inner strength I wasn't sure was still there, I've come to terms with a lot of the old stuff (which I wasn't sure would ever happen), and I've done a lot of thinking about what I really want to do with my life. Most of the heavy lifting I did myself, but she set the whole thing in motion.
And now, it's time to get on with things.
Saturday, September 08, 2007
Guns vs. Chicks
I need a small intermission between that last post and it's conclusion, which I'll write later. So in the meantime, I'm stealing this from my Uncle Phil. It features two of my favorite subjects in head-to-head competition, and I just thought it was amusing.
*****
Ten reasons men prefer guns over women:
#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
# 9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.
# 8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
# 7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.
# 6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.
# 5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
# 4. Guns function normally every day of the month.
# 3. A gun doesn't ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
# 2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you eat.
*******************
And the number one reason a gun is favored over a woman ..
*******************
# 1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN
*****
Ten reasons men prefer guns over women:
#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
# 9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.
# 8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
# 7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.
# 6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.
# 5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
# 4. Guns function normally every day of the month.
# 3. A gun doesn't ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
# 2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you eat.
*******************
And the number one reason a gun is favored over a woman ..
*******************
# 1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN
Thursday, September 06, 2007
That's the Way the Cookie Crumbles
She's leaving.
I'll let that sink in. Meanwhile, let's back up a bit. To begin, we need to back all the way up to about a half hour after I wrote that newest post talking about Jen. For at least the third time, my discussing her here in a critical manner caused her to surface out of nowhere, and it's downright spooky. It's like she can sense it somehow. Anyway, she was having problems. She moved to Newport a few weeks ago, and in typical Jen walking disaster fashion, the building was bought out by somebody else, who doesn't want her there, and he's forcing her out. When she called me she was depressed and upset, and obviously there was no way I could even think about Plan A, and I did my best to talk to her and make her feel better. Although, there was no making her feel better. She'd missed work that night, which was why I was even talking to her on the phone, she hadn't slept, and she didn't know what she was going to do.
She's leaving--leaving town, leaving the state. Packing up what she can take and leaving.
I probably talked to her for an hour and a half, and then I called her when I got up the next morning, like she asked me to. She still hadn't slept, and she was still pretty strung out. Similar to our conversation from weeks ago about her ditching out to Arizona or wherever, this conversation took a similar turn that way. It was hard to tell how much she was serious and how much she was just talking out her ass, because with Jen it can be really hard to tell. And I'd written the earlier conversation off as her being a flake, pretty much, so it was harder to buy into it this time. But I also know not to underestimate her either.
Last night when I checked my messages there was another one from her. She quit Rugers. Just up and quit. And she'd decided it was time to move on and do something else with her life, so she's packing up her car and leaving. I was stunned. It would have been so much Jen bluster ... if not for the quitting part. That makes it pretty goddam serious. I was still holding the phone in my hand, surprised and shocked, when she called again.
This was a two hour conversation. Compared to the day before, she sounded a whole lot better, less stressed, and very determined. I had a ton of questions, naturally. And she answered them all. The meat of the subject as far as she and I goes, and all that, didn't really come up. Oh, it will come up, don't worry, but during that conversation I played devil's advocate a bit while being encouraging of her following her dreams.
Why?
Because then I'm free of the obligations and promises that I made. Regardless of how things have been between she and I, I've made it a point to uphold my end of the bargain. Ten years ago I might not have, but I did this time. I was a good boyfriend. I behaved. She leaves, though, and there's nothing holding me back anymore. And she's pretty determined to leave, no matter how crazy and insane this idea sounds on the surface. She goes, and all hell is a coming, and I have a whole lot of things I want to do with myself and my life, which I'm free to do without having to hold myself back because I have a girlfriend.
There is more. I saw her tonight. I'm helping her with something tomorrow. This all will be in tomorrow's post.
Without connecting all the dots here in this post, these events just convince me more and more that all the crazy things I believe in really are out there directing traffic. If there's ever been a more clear cut case in favor of the Wheel of Destiny and/or the Nice Lady influencing things to get me into position so that I can fulfill my ultimate destiny, I couldn't tell you what it is.
But now I'm playing with some real power. It's going to get very interesting around here.
I'll let that sink in. Meanwhile, let's back up a bit. To begin, we need to back all the way up to about a half hour after I wrote that newest post talking about Jen. For at least the third time, my discussing her here in a critical manner caused her to surface out of nowhere, and it's downright spooky. It's like she can sense it somehow. Anyway, she was having problems. She moved to Newport a few weeks ago, and in typical Jen walking disaster fashion, the building was bought out by somebody else, who doesn't want her there, and he's forcing her out. When she called me she was depressed and upset, and obviously there was no way I could even think about Plan A, and I did my best to talk to her and make her feel better. Although, there was no making her feel better. She'd missed work that night, which was why I was even talking to her on the phone, she hadn't slept, and she didn't know what she was going to do.
She's leaving--leaving town, leaving the state. Packing up what she can take and leaving.
I probably talked to her for an hour and a half, and then I called her when I got up the next morning, like she asked me to. She still hadn't slept, and she was still pretty strung out. Similar to our conversation from weeks ago about her ditching out to Arizona or wherever, this conversation took a similar turn that way. It was hard to tell how much she was serious and how much she was just talking out her ass, because with Jen it can be really hard to tell. And I'd written the earlier conversation off as her being a flake, pretty much, so it was harder to buy into it this time. But I also know not to underestimate her either.
Last night when I checked my messages there was another one from her. She quit Rugers. Just up and quit. And she'd decided it was time to move on and do something else with her life, so she's packing up her car and leaving. I was stunned. It would have been so much Jen bluster ... if not for the quitting part. That makes it pretty goddam serious. I was still holding the phone in my hand, surprised and shocked, when she called again.
This was a two hour conversation. Compared to the day before, she sounded a whole lot better, less stressed, and very determined. I had a ton of questions, naturally. And she answered them all. The meat of the subject as far as she and I goes, and all that, didn't really come up. Oh, it will come up, don't worry, but during that conversation I played devil's advocate a bit while being encouraging of her following her dreams.
Why?
Because then I'm free of the obligations and promises that I made. Regardless of how things have been between she and I, I've made it a point to uphold my end of the bargain. Ten years ago I might not have, but I did this time. I was a good boyfriend. I behaved. She leaves, though, and there's nothing holding me back anymore. And she's pretty determined to leave, no matter how crazy and insane this idea sounds on the surface. She goes, and all hell is a coming, and I have a whole lot of things I want to do with myself and my life, which I'm free to do without having to hold myself back because I have a girlfriend.
There is more. I saw her tonight. I'm helping her with something tomorrow. This all will be in tomorrow's post.
Without connecting all the dots here in this post, these events just convince me more and more that all the crazy things I believe in really are out there directing traffic. If there's ever been a more clear cut case in favor of the Wheel of Destiny and/or the Nice Lady influencing things to get me into position so that I can fulfill my ultimate destiny, I couldn't tell you what it is.
But now I'm playing with some real power. It's going to get very interesting around here.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Diary of a Virgo, volume 12
When big egos bluster and bounce off the walls, you're a master at cleaning up the messes. When glory hogs get careless about the details, you're good at patching up the resulting holes. And when people with stunted emotional intelligence try to assert their control-freak fantasies without acknowledging anyone's feelings, you can be the savior who steps in to prevent full-blown chaos from breaking out. I admire these skills of yours, Virgo, and I hope that you invoke them if necessary in the coming week. But I also want to make sure you know that you've been granted a poetic license to have a bigger ego than usual, and to flirt with being a benevolent glory hog, and to maybe even play around lightheartedly with your own control-freak fantasies.
Interesting. I'm at a bit of a loss for words. I have one blockbuster of a post to write, believe you me, but I don't think I'll be able to get to it tonight.
Definitely tune in tomorrow.
Interesting. I'm at a bit of a loss for words. I have one blockbuster of a post to write, believe you me, but I don't think I'll be able to get to it tonight.
Definitely tune in tomorrow.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
We Now Return You to Your Regularly Scheduled Program, Already in Progress
Sometimes I need to indulge myself in my more Joyridian ideas, even though when I started this thing back in April I tried to avoid those things. But since the other blog has ceased as an ongoing concern, and those ideas still circulate through my noggin, there must be an outlet. Having said that, let's get back to the regular format, shall we?
Let's talk about Jen first. Guinevere and I were discussing her last night. She referred to her as my "invisible girlfriend", which just about sums it up lately. I haven't heard from her since the last time I mentioned in a post that we spoke, nor have I called her. And it's to the point where I don't really feel much like talking to her, even though I have some things to say. I don't hate the girl, I'm not mad at her, and I don't even have any hard feelings about the way things have shaken down between us. But I have moved on mentally.
However.
Physically, I am still very attracted to her.
Emotionally, I know that I am still vulnerable to her charms if I'm exposed to her.
So keeping those two things in mind, I need to be careful while I plan my Exit Strategy. Yes, that's right. I've long since resigned myself to the fact that our relationship will never be what I hoped it would be, and I would like to move on to new and exciting adventures. Those exciting new avenues aren't necessarily apparent to me at the present, but I would just as soon be free to pursue them when they arise, if you know what I mean. Because I have plans, big plans, for my future, and nobody--not even my supposed girlfriend--is going to get in the way of those.
Extracting myself from this, though, is going to be a tricky matter. I already have a Plan A in mind, which I'm going to implement this week. Wish me luck.
Meanwhile, it being early September, I've been busy with my yearly tennis obsession, which you might know as the US Open. I'm a tennis fan all year round, but for whatever reason, the US Open is the tournament that I always pay the most attention to. It probably has something to do with the season, and with the fact that USA shows a number of marquee matches during prime time. There's also a matter of history in the making, as the world's #1 player, Roger Federer, is closing in fast on the all-time grand slam record currently held by Pete Sampras. The record is 14, and Federer is at 11. If he wins this tourney that puts him at 12, and will also be his 4th consecutive US Open win. That he has a chance to do that while also racking up 5 straight Wimbledon victories is just amazing. So he's my pick. I got to watch him dismember some jobber last night, and his playing is incredible.
On the women's side it's less cut and dried. With Kim Clijsters retired and Maria Sharapova already eliminated, I don't have a clear favorite for the tournament. The top half is loaded like a demolition derby with Justine Henin and Serena and Venus Williams, none of whom I dislike, but none of whom are my particular favorites. The bottom half is far more interesting. Except for Svetlana Kuznetsova, the rest of the pack are relative unknowns, but I got to watch a few of them over the weekend, and Shahar Peer and Agnes Szavay are my dark horse favorites.
So I'll be tuning in to see how tis shakes down. I just love tennis. I really miss playing those epic matches with Colleen and my dad way back in the early 90's. We used to play pretty much every day, and it was awesome.
I should get back into shape.
Let's talk about Jen first. Guinevere and I were discussing her last night. She referred to her as my "invisible girlfriend", which just about sums it up lately. I haven't heard from her since the last time I mentioned in a post that we spoke, nor have I called her. And it's to the point where I don't really feel much like talking to her, even though I have some things to say. I don't hate the girl, I'm not mad at her, and I don't even have any hard feelings about the way things have shaken down between us. But I have moved on mentally.
However.
Physically, I am still very attracted to her.
Emotionally, I know that I am still vulnerable to her charms if I'm exposed to her.
So keeping those two things in mind, I need to be careful while I plan my Exit Strategy. Yes, that's right. I've long since resigned myself to the fact that our relationship will never be what I hoped it would be, and I would like to move on to new and exciting adventures. Those exciting new avenues aren't necessarily apparent to me at the present, but I would just as soon be free to pursue them when they arise, if you know what I mean. Because I have plans, big plans, for my future, and nobody--not even my supposed girlfriend--is going to get in the way of those.
Extracting myself from this, though, is going to be a tricky matter. I already have a Plan A in mind, which I'm going to implement this week. Wish me luck.
Meanwhile, it being early September, I've been busy with my yearly tennis obsession, which you might know as the US Open. I'm a tennis fan all year round, but for whatever reason, the US Open is the tournament that I always pay the most attention to. It probably has something to do with the season, and with the fact that USA shows a number of marquee matches during prime time. There's also a matter of history in the making, as the world's #1 player, Roger Federer, is closing in fast on the all-time grand slam record currently held by Pete Sampras. The record is 14, and Federer is at 11. If he wins this tourney that puts him at 12, and will also be his 4th consecutive US Open win. That he has a chance to do that while also racking up 5 straight Wimbledon victories is just amazing. So he's my pick. I got to watch him dismember some jobber last night, and his playing is incredible.
On the women's side it's less cut and dried. With Kim Clijsters retired and Maria Sharapova already eliminated, I don't have a clear favorite for the tournament. The top half is loaded like a demolition derby with Justine Henin and Serena and Venus Williams, none of whom I dislike, but none of whom are my particular favorites. The bottom half is far more interesting. Except for Svetlana Kuznetsova, the rest of the pack are relative unknowns, but I got to watch a few of them over the weekend, and Shahar Peer and Agnes Szavay are my dark horse favorites.
So I'll be tuning in to see how tis shakes down. I just love tennis. I really miss playing those epic matches with Colleen and my dad way back in the early 90's. We used to play pretty much every day, and it was awesome.
I should get back into shape.
Monday, September 03, 2007
Saturday, September 01, 2007
The Social Butterfly (can still cause hurricanes in Miami)
As far as my social circle goes, things are picking up. Whereas a year ago I might have avoided most or all of this, now I'm actually trying to be more social. Imagine that.
Yesterday I went through the local supermarket, where my friend Adam works. He wasn't there, but his girlfriend, The Jen, was running a register, so I went through her line and talked to her a bit. "I heard you have a girlfriend," she said. I confirmed. "It's about time." I agreed. Of course, as you readers know, there's a lot more detail I could have gone into there, but I'm hanging onto my usual sort of discretion in such matters. The tale is too long to tell, for one thing. For another thing, she was just too damn happy for me and I didn't want to piss in those Corn Flakes. Time enough for that later.
Last night while at Borders I was visited by Ian, who I used to work with at LSI (he'll be 'Hiro' in the labels, so as to distinguish him from my brother-in-law). Now, I wouldn't say that Ian and I were exactly close, like Starr and I were, but he's a good kid and we have a number of overlapping interests ... even though he's perhaps more of a nerd than I am. And rest assured, I am a nerd. Anyway, before I left there he'd given me his e-mail, and it was only this week I got around to writing. Nothing against him at all, but for a while I was serious about the whole dropping off the face of the Earth thing as far as people from LSI go. Then I decided: fuck it. I benefit nothing from being non-social. And plus, I wanted to get some dirt.
He probably stayed a good two hours, and we talked about this and that, my job, Heroes, computer stuff, but especially LSI. As it happens, they *are* struggling in my absence. Like he said, "You know how we always used to work short, and somehow we just got everything done even though we had no help? Well, the week after you left, suddenly, we have people in from all over the place, extra people catching, other people around to help out." He's working mostly in screen-making now, and he's buried under orders that need screens, and he's had to remake numerous screens for Starr, who's doing all the stuff I used to do, but for some reason pops a lot of screens. And he mentioned there's an overlay job that he keeps having to remake for her for whatever reason. Because she's printing scrap, that's why. Heh heh heh.
This morning I had an appointment at Midas to get some work done on my baby girl. The apartment search is upcoming, but my biggest priority right now is to keep Jade up and running, and she was in desperate need of a battery. Also, I was hoping they could tell me why she sometimes stalls out when the weather is really hot, because that's annoying ... and worrisome. Anyway, while there I ran into Cindy, who also works at LSI, but in a different department. I've known her every since we both worked there on second shift. I like her because she's the one lady who always makes it a point to ask how the writing is going (and she did today). She asked me about the new job, and I gave her a glowing appraisal, and she was genuinely interested, which was nice. My policy with LSI people is that I'm never going to say anything negative whatsoever about Rugers (and I would do that even if I didn't love it there), or about Jen (despite, you know). She and Ian both asked about Jen, too, and I mentioned how happy she was at Rugers, just in case it comes up with any of the rats back at LSI, and then it would go back to Sue. I'm sure that Jen and I are still a sore spot in Sue's britches, and I mean to keep it that way.
After Midas I went down the the speedway in Claremont. Allen (aka Cooter), my friend from work, asked if I wanted to come down and see the mud bogging competition, so what the heck, I'll go. And it was pretty fun, although I can't tell a Ford from a Chevy just by looking at them across the pit, like a few of the people there could. Apparently, Ford vs. Chevy is the Coke vs. Pepsi of the redneck set, but being a city boy that stuff is lost on me. But the mud bogging was fun to watch in the same sort of way that the demolition derby is fun to watch up in Norwood. I'll go again, too.
I also met Cooter's girlfriend, Amy. In the eight weeks I've worked at Rugers they've been a couple, broken up, had all kinds of drama, and gotten back together. They act like an old married couple when they're together, too, even though she's 19 and he's 22. She has an application in at Rugers, too, for one of the assembly cells, and if she gets hired that should be all kinds of interesting. At least, for frikking once, it's somebody else and not me. She's pretty nice and we kind of hit it off right away. While they were estranged Allen sort of hinted about hooking me up with her, which would have turned out disasterous, and I knew it, so I stayed far away from that. She did sort of hook up with (former assembly employee) Jason, and it was disasterous, and caused all kinds of problems. Plus, I knew she and Cooter would get back together eventually anyway, and I'm not the sort of person to steal somebody's girlfriend out from under them. Maybe once upon a time I would have considered it, but it isn't 1998 anymore.
They also have a kid together. She was there, too. Her name is Allison, and she's like 1 and 1/2 or something. I got to interact with her a little bit, and she is so adorable and animated that I thought about my ultimate plans again, and you know what? I'm more convinced than ever about them. I want to have one of those, and someway or another I will have one. I'm also convinced that I'd be a pretty awesome dad, too. If in doubt, I can just look at my own dad, who is really good at it himself, and figure out what he'd do.
Speaking of, tomorrow I'm off to Massachusetts to see the folks.
Next week, everything I've started goes into overdrive. I'd better buckle up now.
Yesterday I went through the local supermarket, where my friend Adam works. He wasn't there, but his girlfriend, The Jen, was running a register, so I went through her line and talked to her a bit. "I heard you have a girlfriend," she said. I confirmed. "It's about time." I agreed. Of course, as you readers know, there's a lot more detail I could have gone into there, but I'm hanging onto my usual sort of discretion in such matters. The tale is too long to tell, for one thing. For another thing, she was just too damn happy for me and I didn't want to piss in those Corn Flakes. Time enough for that later.
Last night while at Borders I was visited by Ian, who I used to work with at LSI (he'll be 'Hiro' in the labels, so as to distinguish him from my brother-in-law). Now, I wouldn't say that Ian and I were exactly close, like Starr and I were, but he's a good kid and we have a number of overlapping interests ... even though he's perhaps more of a nerd than I am. And rest assured, I am a nerd. Anyway, before I left there he'd given me his e-mail, and it was only this week I got around to writing. Nothing against him at all, but for a while I was serious about the whole dropping off the face of the Earth thing as far as people from LSI go. Then I decided: fuck it. I benefit nothing from being non-social. And plus, I wanted to get some dirt.
He probably stayed a good two hours, and we talked about this and that, my job, Heroes, computer stuff, but especially LSI. As it happens, they *are* struggling in my absence. Like he said, "You know how we always used to work short, and somehow we just got everything done even though we had no help? Well, the week after you left, suddenly, we have people in from all over the place, extra people catching, other people around to help out." He's working mostly in screen-making now, and he's buried under orders that need screens, and he's had to remake numerous screens for Starr, who's doing all the stuff I used to do, but for some reason pops a lot of screens. And he mentioned there's an overlay job that he keeps having to remake for her for whatever reason. Because she's printing scrap, that's why. Heh heh heh.
This morning I had an appointment at Midas to get some work done on my baby girl. The apartment search is upcoming, but my biggest priority right now is to keep Jade up and running, and she was in desperate need of a battery. Also, I was hoping they could tell me why she sometimes stalls out when the weather is really hot, because that's annoying ... and worrisome. Anyway, while there I ran into Cindy, who also works at LSI, but in a different department. I've known her every since we both worked there on second shift. I like her because she's the one lady who always makes it a point to ask how the writing is going (and she did today). She asked me about the new job, and I gave her a glowing appraisal, and she was genuinely interested, which was nice. My policy with LSI people is that I'm never going to say anything negative whatsoever about Rugers (and I would do that even if I didn't love it there), or about Jen (despite, you know). She and Ian both asked about Jen, too, and I mentioned how happy she was at Rugers, just in case it comes up with any of the rats back at LSI, and then it would go back to Sue. I'm sure that Jen and I are still a sore spot in Sue's britches, and I mean to keep it that way.
After Midas I went down the the speedway in Claremont. Allen (aka Cooter), my friend from work, asked if I wanted to come down and see the mud bogging competition, so what the heck, I'll go. And it was pretty fun, although I can't tell a Ford from a Chevy just by looking at them across the pit, like a few of the people there could. Apparently, Ford vs. Chevy is the Coke vs. Pepsi of the redneck set, but being a city boy that stuff is lost on me. But the mud bogging was fun to watch in the same sort of way that the demolition derby is fun to watch up in Norwood. I'll go again, too.
I also met Cooter's girlfriend, Amy. In the eight weeks I've worked at Rugers they've been a couple, broken up, had all kinds of drama, and gotten back together. They act like an old married couple when they're together, too, even though she's 19 and he's 22. She has an application in at Rugers, too, for one of the assembly cells, and if she gets hired that should be all kinds of interesting. At least, for frikking once, it's somebody else and not me. She's pretty nice and we kind of hit it off right away. While they were estranged Allen sort of hinted about hooking me up with her, which would have turned out disasterous, and I knew it, so I stayed far away from that. She did sort of hook up with (former assembly employee) Jason, and it was disasterous, and caused all kinds of problems. Plus, I knew she and Cooter would get back together eventually anyway, and I'm not the sort of person to steal somebody's girlfriend out from under them. Maybe once upon a time I would have considered it, but it isn't 1998 anymore.
They also have a kid together. She was there, too. Her name is Allison, and she's like 1 and 1/2 or something. I got to interact with her a little bit, and she is so adorable and animated that I thought about my ultimate plans again, and you know what? I'm more convinced than ever about them. I want to have one of those, and someway or another I will have one. I'm also convinced that I'd be a pretty awesome dad, too. If in doubt, I can just look at my own dad, who is really good at it himself, and figure out what he'd do.
Speaking of, tomorrow I'm off to Massachusetts to see the folks.
Next week, everything I've started goes into overdrive. I'd better buckle up now.
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