I started Saturday at 3:30 AM, as I was working my third straight Saturday morning. I just can't say no. I'm either dedicated or greedy. Something. Anyway, it was a really easy day. Mark and I worked on repairs the whole time while Eric and Amanda did something else. Mark is the really friendly bodybuilder guy I mentioned before. He's 6'4'' and 285 lbs, and looks uncannily like Kurt Angle. He also talks pretty much non-stop, which takes a lot of the pressure off of me, and I like that. He and I make a pretty good team, too. During the morning I also got my 90 day review from Barney, which was excellent in all categories, so I'm no longer a probationary guy. I am now a real life Mini-14 assembly dude. As I understand it, there's supposed to be a wage review that comes with this, too, but it didn't come up yesterday. I think that has to go through Mike anyway, so we'll see what tomorrow brings.
After work I came home and tooled around on the computer a bit and watched a few wrestling matches on dvd. I'd gotten a call from Modern Myths on Friday saying that something they'd ordered for me had arrived. That's the comic store in Northhampton, Mass, which I first visited last week while down there for my birthday, and it is one awesome place. I'd put it on par with the comic store in Bryn Mawr, which is pretty high praise. Anyway, the original plan was to shoot down there Friday night and pick it up, because it was something I'd been looking forward to, but after I got home from being social (that's another post), and listened to the message, I ended up crashing unexpectedly while taking a breather. When I woke up, it was 9:00, so those plans were out.
The new plan was to head there in the early afternoon. Before I could leave, though, I got a call from another friend and ended up hanging out with him for a while. In the back of my mind was still the plan to shoot down to Mass, because on Saturdays that store is open until 11 PM, which seems absurd, but it works for me. When I got back here, though, it was 8:55, and I spent a whole minute changing into better clothes and calculating whether or not I thought I could make it there by the deadline ... and then I was off. If I didn't go then I'd have gone on Sunday afternoon, which would have burned the whole day pretty much.
I had plenty of gas and already had an ice coffee handy, so I didn't need to stop for anything, and I made it a straight shot to NoHo. I got there at ten of 11. Plenty of time. I picked up my package, which was 'Empowered' vol. 1 by Adam Warren, and I was on my way. By this time I needed gas, so I hit a local mini-mart, and somehow parked the wrong way around from the pump to where my gas tank is. You'd think after having this car for nine years I wouldn't make that sort of mistake, huh?
I also had another thing I was in the mood to do, since I was ...kinda... in the neighborhood. Ah yes, I went to Church. Specifically, I went to Anthony's, which as you know is down in South Hadley. With my gas tank out of the way I'd carefully arranged things so that I could safely blow every dollar left in my wallet, in case things got hectic. It wasn't a big amount or anything, because I didn't feel the need to have a huge night there, but sometimes things happen. At any rate, it wouldn't come anywhere close to the all-time one night record of $180 that one night in 1995. I came close during the latter portion of 1998 to topping that, but the record stands. Hopefully forever.
Considering I recently broke off with my last girlfriend after a few months of her dicking me around, it wasn't so much IF I would eventually hit Church but WHEN. What were you expecting? I was also curious to see how Church would be with this new version of me that's never existed before, and certainly not during the heavy action days when I was going every week. Call it an experiment.
I have to say that for the most part I was ... indifferent. This time wasn't quite the religious experience that time in 95 was, nor was I as keenly interested as during the Chrissy days, nor was I in as desperate need as the dark days. I was there and it was ok, but for the most part I didn't have my socks knocked off. The first set was pretty tame, actually. It's a given that if the set that you walk in on is a bit below par, then the next set will be a blowaway. Sure enough, there were some definite hotties in the next group. My first dollar went to a hijacker, though. I wasn't even looking at her, didn't attract her attention, didn't have any money up, but she started dancing for me anyway. Handcuffed by my own rules, I stuck a dollar up there. She tried it again later, but I didn't fall for it.
I covered most of the rules and such in my other Church post, but there are some other standby things to look for in almost every strip club.
--Poverty Row. There's always a section of the stage, which at Anthony's is forked, so there's always one fork, where nobody is putting up money. As a consequence, that fork doesn't attract attention from the high end girls, who know where to go for the money. When I sat down, I was at the edge of a Poverty Row, but soon enough a lot of those seats turned over. Nevertheless, I still wasn't at the best place, which would have been over near the middle.
--Sinkhole. This is where a dancer gets stuck, due to some high-roller with a big wad of singles, who keeps the dancer there for the whole set. Sadly, I was two seats down from just such a sinkhole. This dancer seemed to have some relationship to the customer, which probably accounts for it. Even so, that's bad form in my book. I never tried to do that with Chrissy, or with my later favorites (like Catalina or Ande), and it just bugs me. Something like that affects business for the rest of us nearby, too, who are looking to either get a dance from that stripper (I was) or to attract another stripper into that area (I was).
There's also, every time, at least one drag queen looking wreck, who is inexplicably popular with the other guys.
There were a few cute ones, yes, but none who blew me away. Even so, there were a few that I would have taken a lapdance from, but starting as late as I was there there wasn't enough time to get anything going. One did ask me, early on, but she wasn't one I was interested in so I said "maybe later", which is my polite way of blowing her off. I'd say there were prolly four others there I'd have taken the dance with.
But overall, there was no knocking of socks by way of the stage. However, we haven't yet accounted for the single greatest improvement that Anthony's has made over the old days: the shot girl. I don't know her name, but MY GOD, the hotness. She looked like Amanda Bynes, but with a huge rack. And she walks around with a tray of shots, and for $5 she gives you a lapdance right there, and then puts the shot down the front of her shirt for you to pull out with your teeth. Did I say lapdance? It's more like she molests you. For five bucks? Oh, you betcha. Let me tell you, it was fantastic. Later on, I took a second shot, and this girl rode me so hard then I have bruises on my legs today. No kidding. If I lived in Greenfield still I would have just kept taking shots, but I was looking at a 100+ mile drive home, and since I was staying until closing that meant I'd have been up about 23 hours, and I also had two Coronas ... so I left it at those two shots. Next time. Next time.
Closing time was at 2AM. It was definitely a low power night because it was looking like I was going to walk out of there with more than $40 left. I know from past experience that the last half hour is hard to get a lapdance in, but if one of the four happened around I would have gone for it. I'm not sure when the last time I went to Church and left without at least one lapdance was, but it might be 1993. That clock was reset last night, which was fine. There wasn't the one stripper to die for that I usually find there, so I'm good. I'd have happily spent that $20 on the shot girl for a lapdance out back even without the shot. I mean, who cares about the shot anyway? You know what I want.
On the way out I had the usual hotdog from the guy outside, which was the first actual food I'd eaten all day. Like always, the Anthony's hotdog was awesome. Yeah, now I had to drive home. I wasn't worried about the alcohol, because two Coronas and two shots is nothing compared to what I used to put down and drive home, even with this longer distance. It was the hour. 2AM isn't really that late for me, but I'd been up since 3:30 that morning, and it's a long way home from South Hadley. I was wide awake leaving the bar, but I knew by Brattleboro or Springfield I'd be dogging it. After doing it a few hundred times that drive north is a long slog, especially those last four exits, which are like 10 miles apart each. It's boring, which isn't great for driving tired.
Sure enough, by Springfield I was barely hanging on. Luckily, I'd stopped and picked up two of my three secret weapons: chocolate milk and a pack of smokes. Say what you will, but taking that first drag gave me some new life. The third weapon was my music. During this round trip south and home I went through The Donna's new CD (which sadly doesn't include their cover of "The Safety Dance"), Evanescence, Kittie, and Lady Sovereign, most of which kept me active. The main problem is that it was chilly out, so I had the heat on, and driving with the heat on always makes me a bit drowsy, so when I started to fade I put the window all the way down, and the blast of cold shocked me alert.
All told, I got back here at 4:05. I was pooped, but it was all worth it. There was a whole lot of stuff packed into this one day.
It was great.
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