Ride the Wind

Jen picked me up here on Thursday. She was upbeat and still down with her crazy plans, whereas I expected her to have spazzed out by then. But things were still moving along. Nothing big was happening that day, so I'll pretty much gloss over it quick. We went to Wal-Mart, where she picked up a bunch of things she was going to need for the trip, and then she stopped and bought two pizzas for some friends of hers from the job prior to LSI. We hung out there a bit, and then she dropped me off here. The plan for Friday was that I was going to help her empty out her apartment in Newport and get everything stashed away in storage.

This was the first time I'd seen her since that night in White River Junction. Apparently, I've changed a bit. I think she was expecting me to be kind of angry and distant ... or something, I dunno ... but I was pleasant and chatty. Above that, I was funny. When I went into Borders to pick up a road atlas for her I offered to find a discount edition with only 46 states in it, and I riffed on that for a few minutes to crack her up. When I told her about going to the mud-bogs with Cooter she was especially surprised. "What has Rugers done to you?" she asked. I told her it wasn't just that place. It's the real Sparky, that's always been underneath, coming out. She just never took advantage of it.

Later on I disturbed her by getting into some talk about past sexual escapades. We started on that when I mentioned this woman at work with the most incredible ass I've ever been witness to. And Jen said I should jump on top of that. When I answered that she was married, she asked when that'd ever stopped me before. "Well, all but once. Ok, twice. Uh ... three times." And that led to my going after Lynne, who was actually still married at the time, when I had a girlfriend of my own, too. She'd heard about this before, but for some reason the details of it were weirding her out. I called her on that Friday when she started herself on a similar track. "Ok, so I talk about nailing my sister-in-law and you get all sketched out, but I've been listening to your sexcapades for six months." "I just don't expect it coming from you," she said. "Just wait until the *next* time you see me."

I guess things didn't go so hot in her planned showdown with the new landlord on Friday. When I met her at the local U-Haul facility she was all wound up, worse than I'd ever seen her before, even at LSI during the Sue Wars. Anyway, having crossed the point of no return, the plan was still in motion. There was one change of plans. Where originally I was going to help her move out all the stuff that was going into storage, her friend Todd (also from the WRJ post) had been helping her all day, so I just had to help them stick it in the storage bin. That was cool. Jen wanted me to drive the truck, and I wasn't sure that was something I could pull off without causing some property damage. Also, I can't say I'm disappointed that I didn't get to help move her couch down those stairs either.

Once that was finished, she had to get Todd to work down in Ascutney. I'd said I'd help her clean the rest of the apartment and load up her car, so I rode along. This is where we had that second helping of sex talk, and I added my name to her address book ... in case she ever writes or anything. For the most part, it was pleasant conversation. Even then I wasn't sure if I'd get into any of our issue stuff or not. I'm not sure what the point would have been anyway.

There wasn't a lot left in her apartment, but there was enough to fill her car to capacity. I took point on that and pretty much organized everything in there myself, because that's what Virgos, and especially me, are good at. While there her friend Nicole (from that night at the movies) called and they chatted for a bit. At one point of it Jen said, "Yeah, he is", in a really warm tone right after she'd told Nicole that Sparky was there helping her out. My best guess is that Nicole said, "He's a pretty nice guy."

The plan was to leave Newport, drop me off back in Lebanon, continue to her grandmother, and then later on drive down to Exeter where her mom and Sherry are. Knowing this was probably going to be our last conversation, we talked about a lot of the old stuff, focusing on LSI. We talked about that first date (it predates this blog), the first time we hung out, when the point of no-return was as far as my leaving LSI (Memorial Day weekend and our Interview Stunt), and various other highlights. If this were an episode of a sitcom it would have been one of those ones where they show all the good bits from earlier episodes. It was our clip show. By then I knew I wasn't going to get into anything heavy, and I really didn't want to anyway. She was leaving, and I was the last person she was going to see before she left, and that was good enough for me.

She was very genuinely appreciative that I would go out of my way to help her out that last night, and she thanked me at least a dozen times. When we got back to the U-Haul place where we'd left my car, we got to that moment. It was time to say goodbye. There was a very pregnant moment right then, where either of us could say anything, but we kept it light. I told her it'd been fun, she agreed, we said our goodbyes, and I got out. She headed east to her grandma's house; I went west to my apartment. It was clear, without being stated outright, that we were free of each other and the obligations and whatnot. But we did it without a big scene or hard feelings. I think we both knew it was for the best anyway. Of all my relationships, few have ever ended on good terms like this. Even though there were issues and such galore, I don't dislike her and I'm not angry with her. I'm not bitter, like I might have been only months ago. I guess I have changed.

I'm sure at some point our paths will cross again.

So I was thinking about her legacy in the big picture. I've said this before, numerous times, but she did save my life. If she hadn't come along when she did, where would I be? And where am I now instead? She definitely left me better than she found me, and she'll always be special to me for that reason. In the last six months I dug myself out of a huge rut, I found an inner strength I wasn't sure was still there, I've come to terms with a lot of the old stuff (which I wasn't sure would ever happen), and I've done a lot of thinking about what I really want to do with my life. Most of the heavy lifting I did myself, but she set the whole thing in motion.

And now, it's time to get on with things.