Love, Georgia Style

The following post is a little bit self-serving, but as this is my blog I suppose I'm entitled. I'm going to transcribe a conversation I had with Jen this afternoon through text messaging. While the subject matter may seem vile and gross to the rest of you, it is something that I will be chuckling over for a good long time. I don't have the space in my phone to save all these texts, but I do have this handy blog.

Yes, by the way, this is the same Jen who was heavily featured in the early days of this blog. In retrospect, I believe I was a little too harsh with her overall in my posts. Since then, she and I have worked out our old differences to the point where she is now one of the best friends I have (in the top 5). After all, it's not like she Myszkowsied me after the fact. Not to mention that Amy set the bar so high on SCREWING ME OVER that it's forced me to re-evaluate *everything* that's come before, up to and including my first ex-wife -- She Who Will Not Be Named. I've had some bad ones, yes, it's true. But Amy turned it up to 11.

Ok, speaking of her ...

Me: Wait. Who fucked who now?

Jen: Jasper may have possibly FUCKED, HAD SEX WITH HIS SISTER BY BLOOD. LMAO. I guess even his mom asked him.

Me: LOL. Now Amy can get her threesome.

Jen: Oh she got that before Jasper with two guys and again with that Gary guy and his wife. She admitted being a whore the other day.

Me: Well, we knew that anyway.

Jen: Yeah. Guess Amy noticed that his sis kept grabbing his dink and rubbing her ass on him and yeah OMG that was the funniest shit ever when she told me.

Jen: She goes IDK why his sis doesn't like me. I told her to stop fucking her boyfriend.

Me: Ahahahaha.

Jen: I knew that girl was fucked in the head but wow that blew my mind. She goes IDK how I feel about sharing my man with his sister. WTF?

Me: I'm all kinds of creeped out now.

Jen: You're creeped out? I had to hear it.

Me: She's a blue ribbon prize all right.

Jen: She calls me crying. I think Jasper cheated on me, so I'm ready with the he's an ass speech. Then she says yeah, his sister. I didn't know what to say so I busted out laughing. I couldn't help it. It was that or vomit and I'd lose service if I ran to the bathroom.

Jen: Haven't heard from her since.

Me: This is some epic twisted shit.

Jen: Dude what's twisted is I said leave him, she goes I love him!

Jen: I'll admit I'm somewhat forgiving with cheaters, but family members, mine or theirs, is a deal breaker.

Me: Oh she does not want me to know about this.

Jen: I wouldn't have told ANYONE. I would have just said it didn't work out. How hard up do you have to be?

Me: Yeah, she could come back and beg me, but I'm just repulsed by her now.


From here is got back to regular gossiping about her whorishness. This was the good stuff, over which I'll be chuckling for years to come.

Stormwatch

While watching the news lately I couldn't help but notice that a shitload of really big scary tornadoes are ripping up the south, actually not all that far away from where I would have been living. As far as I know, they haven't really hit the Florida panhandle, which is where I almost got stuck, but they would have been just close enough to make me really worried and a little panicky. I like watching the fury of nature as much as anyone, but I prefer it to be from the safety of my television set.*


*except for that one time Dan and I foolishly went storm chasing, although nothing really happened then either.

Those twisters, though, are destroying Alabama and hit Georgia pretty hard, too. At least parts of Georgia. While watching the news on this I couldn't help but wonder ...


why couldn't they have come through about 100 miles further south?








What? Like she doesn't deserve to have a house dropped on her.

Planningses

So I was chatting with my bud Becky on Facebook, and we were talking about writing and other creative meanderings, which inspired me enough to come dig this blog up and poke around in its innards a bit. Some thoughts:

--Of course, I immediately got sucked right into these old posts. This is not surprising as I'm a huge mark for my own writing sometimes. It's really pretty shameless.

--I also came across some cringe-worthy moments inside of a few posts that are horribly ironic in hindsight. Given that they were written in 2008 (pre-Amy), I'm sure there's a lot more where that came from.

--I came in specifically to look for the Kudoverse posts. I'm very happy that some of the ones I was hoping to find were here. I'm more than a little pissed that some of the ones I was hoping to find are lost forever.

I really miss blogging. I'm not sure if I'm going to do it here or elsewhere, but I have to do it somewhere.