Now Then

Tomorrow, on the 4th of July, Skyler is one month old. While I have made the most of the first month and spent as much time with the baby as possible, it still does feel as though it flew by. I'm sure the next month, and the next year, and so forth will fly on by just as quick. That's what everybody says anyway. Well, whatever. I waited 20 years to meet this child, and I'm going to absorb every ounce of enjoyment I can out of her, and I'm not going to miss any opportunities either. Yeah, there are guys out there who don't give a shit about spending a lot of time with their kids, even if they just pay lip service to loving them oh so much (and I know a few of these guys), but I'm not one of them, and I'll never be one of them. I do expect my future to be a litte more crowded and busy with writing related stuff, but I'll be damned if I'm going to miss a school play or anything like that if I don't have to.

It's that damn Cat in the Cradle song, you know. The message behind it has been stuck in my mind forever. I listened. I get it.

So far, I've done good on this score. During the pregnancy I was there for everything all along the way. I went to every pre-natal visit, even if I had to ditch work for a few hours, every ultrasound (including the awesome 3D ones we did in Keene), every near-miss hospital visit, ... everything. The thought of missing even one of those visits never crossed my mind. I *had* to be involved. The only worry I had was missing too much work and getting into trouble, which could have happened if I didn't work for the supervisor that I do work for, because he's pretty awesome as bosses go. And I was concerned about missing time and not getting paid. Usually I nickel and dime all my vacation time usage throughout the year, taking two hours there and three hours here. Long vacations are usually not in the budget anyway. Case in point, I'm here in NH now instead of in NY with the family (although that also has to do with not wanting to drag Skyler on a six hour trip to nowhere at her age; and the fact that while Amy does get along well with my family, it's better to keep it at smaller doses, because my beautiful wife does get aggravated easily).

Money, and the job thing, are really the only things left for me to figure out. Of course I don't want to stay at my Current Place of Employment for the rest of my life, nor am I eager to replace that job with a similar job doing monkey work for less money than I'm worth. I'm pursuing some writing options (yes, including the book), and while I've been a bit frustrated to start, I'm not going to give up.

Ever since I hit the reset button in 2007 (with Jen's help), I've done some amazing things that honestly I thought might never happen ever in my life, including getting married to Amy and having a baby. Figuring out this job/writing thing is just the next logical step. And if I can do those first two "scary" things, I should be able to work this out, too.

I just need Calliope to get her butt back from the Bahamas.