Virgorama

With the help of a Norwegian space facility, the Frito-Lay company has used radar to beam a commercial for its Doritos tortilla chips to 47 Ursae Majoris, a star 42 light years away. Astronomers believe that habitable planets circle the star, so any creatures living there will eventually get an invitation to enjoy the crunchy corn goodness that so many earthlings have sampled. I'm making this vignette your metaphor of the week, Virgo. May it inspire you to formulate an "advertisement" for yourself and your specialties that will spread far and wide, reaching a new audience and activating your future potentials.

In a shocking turn of events, I actually understand what the horoscope wants me to do.