Reunions and Such

As you know, I went to Massachusetts. I got back last night, but was too tired and fried to post anything, even though I wanted to, so here I am now.

I went down Friday afternoon. Dan was down there waiting for me when I pulled in. He looked much like I remembered, except even more like his dad. I already knew this from the phone conversations, but our old chemistry was intact, even if I couldn't quite remember some of the dynamics of our relationship. I don't even know if that makes sense, but if you were in my head you'd know it's a minefield of psychological hiccups that go on in there. It's just been so long. Like I'm comfortable busting on Cooter, but I can't remember if Dan and I used to do that so much, and the programs are somewhat overwriting each other in my brain. I need some time to readjust.

We mostly hung out and talked over old times and dwelled on our shared interests. He hurt his back a few years ago on the job, so he's mostly a homebody, and can't get up to all the wacky hijinks we used to. That doesn't bother me, though. Our main forte was being somewhat dickish through conversational means anyway. There was video games played, dvds watched, some internet surfing, and so on. I like hanging out, yes, but I like to be more active, too. There were other things we wanted to do, like go to a movie, that didn't end up happening for one reason or another, but there's always next time.

His mom was out grocery shopping when I got there. She gave me a big hug when she got back. According to Dan, she missed me almost as much as he did. She's always been cool to me, always treated me like one of the family, always makes me eat dinner with them if I'm around, and gives me leftovers and such to bring home. She went on vacation with one of her daughters for the week. They left on Saturday for ... I forget where. I'm glad I got to see her, though.

So the weekend wasn't quite the Roman orgy I thought might be in store, but Friday night we did get decently fucked up. We went out to the liquor store and picked up some goodies to go with the movies we wanted to watch. My tolerance isn't what it used to be, like during the Barneypalooza days, but I can hold my own. He drank a lot more than I did, though, without seeming too drunk. Of course, there was some pot on top of that as well. I can always take or leave pot. It's always more important to whoever I'm smoking with than it is to me, but once in a while won't kill me. I'm not going to make a habit of it, though, so don't worry.

On Sunday we went over to see Amanda. I almost chickened out. Despite the warm message I got from her last week, I came down with a large case of the nerves. She was 7 when I met her and 16 the last time I saw her. I'd never seen her as an adult, and it had been so long, and my brain came up with so many reasons for me to back out. But I was screwing around online Saturday night and she sent me another message asking if I was coming down that weekend and if I was coming over, and I thought about it for a while, and it bugged me and bugged me and bugged me until I went back and wrote back that I was in town already and I could stop by on Sunday. If I didn't, it would bug me all week long.

I practically had to drag Dan along. He wasn't sure he wanted to go, but I was adamant that he should. The two of them have been in contact here and there over the years, and she did say he could come along. But above that, I was going to be a whole lot more comfortable with back-up than I would be if I went alone.

And it was a very nice time. I was happy to see her, she was happy to see me, we talked about all manner of things, and I met my ... what is it?... great niece Zoe, who at five months is adorable. She has two other kids, too, but they're both living with Lynne at the moment, and apparently Lynne and Amanda aren't getting along. Hmmm. If I'm going to talk to Lynne at all I might have to navigate a new route. Things were left open for future visits, too. If I only reconnect with one person out of that family, Amanda would be the one. Well, I like her brother, too, but he's in Arkansas and a bit out of reach. The others? Not as much. And the one? No fucking way.

I feel like I'm being really vague here with this post, and maybe a little emotionally detatched. I think it's just because I'm tired and fried and burnt out. The nostalgia tour is great and all, and there are a few other stops I want to make along the way (Shannon, for instance), but for whatever reason I'm feeling a little sad about a few things. I'm not sure exactly why either.

I'm going to have to work it out.