First off, while at a new hangout spot (the Newsarama boards), where I get to engage in the ever so rare since I abandoned my alter-ego joy in discussing comic books, I joined a movement:
Grant Morrison is a comic book writer. He's known for writing quirky stuff full of amazing ideas, and he's written some things that are among my favorite comics ever (Doom Patrol, Animal Man, Seven Soldiers of Victory), as well as others that I've enjoyed quite a bit (All-Star Superman, JLA, the New X-Men), in addition to one or two (The Invisibles) that I just didn't get and need to try again. There's nobody writing comics today whose work I enjoy more. He is to comics (for me) what Stephen King is to novels, Quentin Tarantino is to movies, Joss Whedon is to television, and Erica Campbell is to chicks who model on the internet. That is to say: teh awesome.
Suffice to say, I'm enjoying myself over there.
Meanwhile, I pulled something out of the template of the other blog. As with my tales of the Kudoverse, I wanted to make sure I had it someplace. I may use some of it here in the future, I may not, but I put way too much fucking work into it to just let it go. So below you will find my complete Scriptzilla file of little taglines that followed the name of the blog over there. Feel free to ignore it at your leisure.
function card()
{
// 1040 Mottos. Libby Rulz.
number = getcard(1040)
if (number ==1) document.writeln ("That'll put some marzipan in your pie plate, bingo!")
if (number ==2) document.writeln ("Live free or DIE!")
if (number ==3) document.writeln ("It can happen here.")
if (number ==4) document.writeln ("Hail Eris. All hail Discordia.")
if (number ==5) document.writeln ("Ewige Blumenkraft.")
if (number ==6) document.writeln ("It isn't nice to fool with Mother Nature.")
if (number ==7) document.writeln ("featuring Calliope.")
if (number ==8) document.writeln ("featuring Dynamite Kudo and the rest of the Ferocious Five.")
if (number ==9) document.writeln ("home of the IOPWF.")
if (number ==10) document.writeln ("Imagination rules the world.")
if (number ==11) document.writeln ("We're all mad here.")
if (number ==12) document.writeln ("Sarcasm is just one more free service we offer.")
if (number ==13) document.writeln ("Well la-de-fucking-dah!")
if (number ==14) document.writeln ("Surely you're joking, Mr. Feynman.")
if (number ==15) document.writeln ("I am 32 flavors and then some.")
if (number ==16) document.writeln ("It's like chocolate in your peanut butter.")
if (number ==17) document.writeln ("It's like peanut butter in your chocolate.")
if (number ==18) document.writeln ("Eat, sleep, drink, Nintendo!")
if (number ==19) document.writeln ("What the fuck is a roo-frake?")
if (number ==20) document.writeln ("Yeah, that's right.")
if (number ==21) document.writeln ("The fastest gun in the west.")
if (number ==22) document.writeln ("Are you not entertained?")
if (number ==23) document.writeln ("These pretzels are making me thirsty!")
if (number ==24) document.writeln ("Serenity now!")
if (number ==25) document.writeln ("Cartwright!")
if (number ==26) document.writeln ("Of course I'm not Cartwright!")
if (number ==27) document.writeln ("Not that there's anything wrong with that.")
if (number ==28) document.writeln ("No soup for you!")
if (number ==29) document.writeln ("Hello ...... Newman.")
if (number ==30) document.writeln ("It's a stupid stuporstition")
if (number ==31) document.writeln ("Ehhh, What's up, Doc?")
if (number ==32) document.writeln ("Sometimes my conscience kinda bothers me .... but not this time.")
if (number ==33) document.writeln ("Ain't I a stinker?")
if (number ==34) document.writeln ("I'll do it ... but I'll hate myself in the morning.")
if (number ==35) document.writeln ("I do this kind of thing to him all through the picture.")
if (number ==36) document.writeln ("Of course you know, this means war!")
if (number ==37) document.writeln ("Could it be that I carried this thing a bit too far?")
if (number ==38) document.writeln ("Let's see ... what can I do to this guy next?")
if (number ==39) document.writeln ("Ok, smokey ....... roll 'em.")
if (number ==40) document.writeln ("Poor little maroon. So trusting. So naive.")
if (number ==41) document.writeln ("What an embezzle. What an ultramaroon.")
if (number ==42) document.writeln ("Watch me paste that pathetic palooka with a powerful, pachydermous, percussion pitch.")
if (number ==43) document.writeln ("I knew I shouldda taken that left turn at Albequerque.")
if (number ==44) document.writeln ("Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of heaven .... because it hasn't.")
if (number ==45) document.writeln ("Well, what did you expect in an opera? A happy ending?")
if (number ==46) document.writeln ("Beat it, gargantua. And another thing, stop steaming up my cup.")
if (number ==47) document.writeln ("Stop steaming up my tail! What are you trying to do? Wrinkle it?")
if (number ==48) document.writeln ("Oh yeah? Well, I can prove a rabbit can be more obnoxious than anybody!")
if (number ==49) document.writeln ("I know this defies the laws of gravity, but I never studied law.")
if (number ==50) document.writeln ("What a nin-cow-poop! What a gulli-bull.")
if (number ==51) document.writeln ("I reiterate. Only a big, fat rat would shoot a guy in the back.")
if (number ==52) document.writeln ("Hey, laughing boy. No more bullets.")
if (number ==53) document.writeln ("I speak softy, but I carry a biiiiiiiiiig stick.")
if (number ==54) document.writeln ("What an eskimo pie head.")
if (number ==55) document.writeln ("Uh oh. Think fast, rabbit.")
if (number ==56) document.writeln ("YOU are a mental case.")
if (number ==57) document.writeln ("You know, someday these scientists will invent something that will out-smart a rabbit.")
if (number ==58) document.writeln ("Tag. *WHAM* You're it.")
if (number ==59) document.writeln ("Are you in, genius? Are you in, solent? In, describable? In, bearable?")
if (number ==60) document.writeln ("I should have gone to Worshtischestischistishire.")
if (number ==61) document.writeln ("My name is Elmer J. Fudd, millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht.")
if (number ==62) document.writeln ("All right. All right. Stop the ice cube factory.")
if (number ==63) document.writeln ("Ah, your brother blows bubble gum!")
if (number ==64) document.writeln ("I suppose you realize this is not going to go unchallenged.")
if (number ==65) document.writeln ("Kill the wabbit?")
if (number ==66) document.writeln ("Your spear and magic helmet?")
if (number ==67) document.writeln ("I suppose you don't believe I was run over by a street car.")
if (number ==68) document.writeln ("Unga bunga bunga!")
if (number ==69) document.writeln ("I'll be scared later. Right now I'm too mad.")
if (number ==70) document.writeln ("The way I run this thing you'd think I knew something about it.")
if (number ==71) document.writeln ("Ahahahaha. I got a million of them.")
if (number ==72) document.writeln ("She may not be very pretty now, but she was somebody's baby once.")
if (number ==73) document.writeln ("Oh, brudda. There goes me bread and butta.")
if (number ==74) document.writeln ("Does your tobacco taste differently lately?")
if (number ==75) document.writeln ("Look! A new Dick Tracy character: Accordion Head.")
if (number ==76) document.writeln ("Like they say: When in Slobovia, do as the other slobs do.")
if (number ==77) document.writeln ("Well, toodles. Do I get my home back or do I have to get tough?")
if (number ==78) document.writeln ("Think of your career. And for that matter, think of my career.")
if (number ==79) document.writeln ("Look, Doc. I'm multiplyin.")
if (number ==80) document.writeln ("Well, I've heard of Hell's angels, but I never thought I'd see one.")
if (number ==81) document.writeln ("Innocent as a newborn baby. Baby rat, that is.")
if (number ==82) document.writeln ("Thanks for the sour persimmons, brother.")
if (number ==83) document.writeln ("You're despicable.")
if (number ==84) document.writeln ("Aha! Pronoun trouble.")
if (number ==85) document.writeln ("There's going to be a sneak preview .... and the sneaks aren't going to like it.")
if (number ==86) document.writeln ("Hey, bub! You need a house to go with this doorknob!")
if (number ==87) document.writeln ("NOT ME, YOU SLOP-ARTIST!")
if (number ==88) document.writeln ("If you wasn't me I'd smack you right in the puss!")
if (number ==89) document.writeln ("It's a buck-and-a-quarter quarterstaff, but I'm not telling HIM that.")
if (number ==90) document.writeln ("Yoiks and AWAAAAAAAY!")
if (number ==91) document.writeln ("Don't shush me! I'LL MAKE ALL THE NOISE I WANNA!")
if (number ==92) document.writeln ("Gruesome, isn't it?")
if (number ==93) document.writeln ("Oh no, not *twice* in the same picture!")
if (number ==94) document.writeln ("I may be a coward, but I'm a greeeeeeedy little coward.")
if (number ==95) document.writeln ("I'm not crazy. I just don't give a darn. Woo hoo. Woo hoo!")
if (number ==96) document.writeln ("That's the last time I work with someone with a speech impediment.")
if (number ==97) document.writeln ("Does anyone understand a word this duck is saying?")
if (number ==98) document.writeln ("For a small price, I can install this little blue button to get you down.")
if (number ==99) document.writeln ("Blanks, he says. Here. Have a handful of blanks.")
if (number ==100) document.writeln ("Rabbit Season! Duck season FIRE!")
if (number ==101) document.writeln ("I am a duck bent on self-preservation.")
if (number ==102) document.writeln ("Consequences, schmonsequences. As long as I'm rich.")
if (number ==103) document.writeln ("Hocus pocus. Flippety flam. A razzamatazz and ALAKAZAM!")
if (number ==104) document.writeln ("Help! I'm being held prisoner in a Chinese laundry.")
if (number ==105) document.writeln ("I'm so crazy I don't know this is impossible.")
if (number ==106) document.writeln ("What? That rabbit's name over mine?")
if (number ==107) document.writeln ("What are you laughing at? I'm hungry!")
if (number ==108) document.writeln ("Whattta ya take me for, a nincom .......... POOP!")
if (number ==109) document.writeln ("You have insult me. We meet on the field of onion.")
if (number ==110) document.writeln ("Hey! What's the matter with me? I'M Duck Twacy!")
if (number ==111) document.writeln ("If you try that again I'll stick your tail in the pencil sharpener.")
if (number ==112) document.writeln ("Lucky for him it is a one horse town.")
if (number ==113) document.writeln ("Happy birthday, you thing from another world you.")
if (number ==114) document.writeln ("Aaaaaaah, your sister drives the pickle wagon.")
if (number ==115) document.writeln ("B-b-big deal.")
if (number ==116) document.writeln ("Be-de-be-de-be-de That's all, folks!")
if (number ==117) document.writeln ("Y-Y-You can't fool me. I have a high IQ.")
if (number ==118) document.writeln ("West and wewaxation at wast!")
if (number ==119) document.writeln ("Just wait til I get my hands on that screwy wabbit and that screwball duck!")
if (number ==120) document.writeln ("I may be a scwewy wabbit, but I'm not going to Alcatwaz.")
if (number ==121) document.writeln ("But I haven't got a wiscence to shoot a fwickaseein wabbit.")
if (number ==122) document.writeln ("Euweka! Gold at wast.")
if (number ==123) document.writeln ("There's something scwewy going on awound hewe.")
if (number ==124) document.writeln ("Have any of you girls ever had an expewience wike this?")
if (number ==125) document.writeln ("Boy's as sharp as a bowling ball.")
if (number ==126) document.writeln ("Pay attention, boy!")
if (number ==127) document.writeln ("That's a joke, son.")
if (number ==128) document.writeln ("We have been flim-flammed.")
if (number ==129) document.writeln ("I don't see no hula hula girls.")
if (number ==130) document.writeln ("Fortunately, I keep my feathers numbered for just such an emergency.")
if (number ==131) document.writeln ("There's something kind of 'eeee-yew' about a boy that doesn't like baseball.")
if (number ==132) document.writeln ("This is gonna cause more confusion than a mouse at a burlesque show.")
if (number ==133) document.writeln ("Go away, boy. Ya bother me.")
if (number ==134) document.writeln ("I'm just a loud mouthed schnook.")
if (number ==135) document.writeln ("Some days it don't pay to get outta bed.")
if (number ==136) document.writeln ("The dog's busier than a centipede at a toe-counting contest.")
if (number ==137) document.writeln ("Any of this gettin' through that little ol' blue bonnet of yours?")
if (number ==138) document.writeln ("There's nothing worse than a blabber-mouth cat.")
if (number ==139) document.writeln ("That boy's as timid as a canary at a cat-show.")
if (number ==140) document.writeln ("They don't make pussy cats like they used to.")
if (number ==141) document.writeln ("No mas tequila. Already mui loaded.")
if (number ==142) document.writeln ("Grab your sombreros, amigos. Here we go again.")
if (number ==143) document.writeln ("Thees time I do it much faster. Time me.")
if (number ==144) document.writeln ("Now, that's what I call a brave poosey cat.")
if (number ==145) document.writeln ("Oh, oh! I theenk thees ess where I come een.")
if (number ==146) document.writeln ("Us good guys always win.")
if (number ==147) document.writeln ("Dragons is so stupid!")
if (number ==148) document.writeln ("All right. All right. I'ma thinkin' .... and my head hurts.")
if (number ==149) document.writeln ("Why did you pour ink on my head?")
if (number ==150) document.writeln ("You ornery fur-barin' rebel. You'll pay for this.")
if (number ==151) document.writeln ("Great horny toadies! I think I dug all the way to Chinee.")
if (number ==152) document.writeln ("Oh yeah? Well I talk LOUD and I carry a BIGGER stick. And I use it, too.")
if (number ==153) document.writeln ("AW, now you've gone and made me lose count.")
if (number ==154) document.writeln ("Sufferin' succotash!")
if (number ==155) document.writeln ("I can't help it! After all, I am a pussycat.")
if (number ==156) document.writeln ("Ok, smarties, laugh this off!")
if (number ==157) document.writeln ("You got anymore bright ideas?")
if (number ==158) document.writeln ("Anything can happen in a cartoon.")
if (number ==159) document.writeln ("I haven't been watching the wrestling matches on TV for nothing, you know.")
if (number ==160) document.writeln ("One nice thing eez, the game of love eez never called on account of darkness.")
if (number ==161) document.writeln ("I shoot you with ze ack-ack of love.")
if (number ==162) document.writeln ("All is love in fair and war.")
if (number ==163) document.writeln ("Au revoir, pidgeon. Sweeting is such part sorrow.")
if (number ==164) document.writeln ("This ees my first affair so please be kind.")
if (number ==165) document.writeln ("Come to me, my mellon baby collie.")
if (number ==166) document.writeln ("You know, eet may be possible to be *too* attractive.")
if (number ==167) document.writeln ("I must learn what thees 'pew' means everytime I appear.")
if (number ==168) document.writeln ("Hey, I am a creamy puff, no?")
if (number ==169) document.writeln ("I am playing it too cool, no?")
if (number ==170) document.writeln ("I tawt I taw a puddy tat.")
if (number ==171) document.writeln ("Ho ho, that puddy tat has a pink skin under his fur coat.")
if (number ==172) document.writeln ("Aaaaaah. You cwushed my widdle head.")
if (number ==173) document.writeln ("Whaddaya know, ran out of piddies.")
if (number ==174) document.writeln ("Baaaad ol' puddy tat.")
if (number ==175) document.writeln ("Y'know, I get wid of more puddy tats that way.")
if (number ==176) document.writeln ("Oh oh. Wrecked da puddy tat.")
if (number ==177) document.writeln ("This makes me very angry. Very angry indeed.")
if (number ==178) document.writeln ("G-U-N-P-O-W-D-E-R. Tobacco!")
if (number ==179) document.writeln ("C'mon cats, we're going to town.")
if (number ==180) document.writeln ("You gotta get hot to play real cool.")
if (number ==181) document.writeln ("And there ain't no prisoner in no Chinese bakery.")
if (number ==182) document.writeln ("And this time I didn't forget the gravy.")
if (number ==183) document.writeln ("Smarter than the average bear.")
if (number ==184) document.writeln ("Welcome, culture crowd.")
if (number ==185) document.writeln ("What ees it, maaaan?")
if (number ==186) document.writeln ("Steempy, you eeeeediot.")
if (number ==187) document.writeln ("Don't whiz on the electric fence.")
if (number ==188) document.writeln ("Happy happy, joy joy.")
if (number ==189) document.writeln ("It is not I who am crazy, it is I who am maaaaaaaaad.")
if (number ==190) document.writeln ("I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way.")
if (number ==191) document.writeln ("To be the girl you have to beat the girl.")
if (number ==192) document.writeln ("To be the blog you have to beat the blog.")
if (number ==193) document.writeln ("The dirtiest player in the game.")
if (number ==194) document.writeln ("Learn to love it because it's the best thing going today.")
if (number ==195) document.writeln ("The best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be.")
if (number ==196) document.writeln ("Everytime you think you know all the answers, I change the questions.")
if (number ==197) document.writeln (".... and I'm all out of bubblegum.")
if (number ==198) document.writeln ("I ain't got time to bleed.")
if (number ==199) document.writeln ("Whatcha gonna do?")
if (number ==200) document.writeln ("Ain't nobody crazy enough to do this gig but me")
if (number ==201) document.writeln ("The icon, the showstopper, the main event")
if (number ==202) document.writeln ("I don't lay down for nobody.")
if (number ==203) document.writeln ("You make the rules and I will break 'em.")
if (number ==204) document.writeln ("With talent on loan from God.")
if (number ==205) document.writeln ("And you will rest in peace. Urrrrrrrrrrrr.")
if (number ==206) document.writeln ("Through hellfire and brimstone.")
if (number ==207) document.writeln ("I love the smell of burnt flesh in the morning.")
if (number ==208) document.writeln ("A chair to the head will shut you up everytime.")
if (number ==209) document.writeln ("Prove me wrong.")
if (number ==210) document.writeln ("I am one bad mamma jamma.")
if (number ==211) document.writeln ("I am the Ayatollah of rock and rolla.")
if (number ==212) document.writeln ("I am a HUGE rock star.")
if (number ==213) document.writeln ("I'm the queen of the world!")
if (number ==214) document.writeln ("For the benefit of those with flash photography.")
if (number ==215) document.writeln ("Oh, it's true. It's damn true.")
if (number ==216) document.writeln ("The blog of 1000 posts.")
if (number ==217) document.writeln ("The whole fucking show.")
if (number ==218) document.writeln ("The whole f'n show.")
if (number ==219) document.writeln ("NH F'N J!!!")
if (number ==220) document.writeln ("Homocidal, genocidal, suicidal.")
if (number ==221) document.writeln ("Beat me if you can, survive if I let you.")
if (number ==222) document.writeln ("Let's get ready to rrrrrrumble.")
if (number ==223) document.writeln ("Let's get ready to ruh ruh ruh ruh ruh ruh ruh .....")
if (number ==224) document.writeln ("Calliope! Get the tables!")
if (number ==225) document.writeln ("I'll smash your knee to oblicitree.")
if (number ==226) document.writeln ("Ass-kickin', take no names ....")
if (number ==227) document.writeln ("The Big Bad is back and looking for a little death.")
if (number ==228) document.writeln ("I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm girl enough to admit it.")
if (number ==229) document.writeln ("They never just leave. Always gotta say something.")
if (number ==230) document.writeln ("See what happens when you roughhouse?")
if (number ==231) document.writeln ("We can either do this the hard way or .... actually, there's just the hard way.")
if (number ==232) document.writeln ("So are you going to kill me or are we just making small talk?")
if (number ==233) document.writeln ("I'm sure our invitations just got lost in the mail.")
if (number ==234) document.writeln ("If I was at full Slayer power I'd be punning right about now.")
if (number ==235) document.writeln ("You know that threat gets more frightening everytime I hear it.")
if (number ==236) document.writeln ("Let me answer that with a headbutt.")
if (number ==237) document.writeln ("You're not the brightest god in the heavens, are you?")
if (number ==238) document.writeln ("I always knew I'd go down fighting.")
if (number ==239) document.writeln ("I may be dirt .... but you're the one who likes to roll in it.")
if (number ==240) document.writeln ("Well, not exactly the St. Crispin's Day speech, was it?")
if (number ==241) document.writeln ("If the Apocalypse comes, beep me.")
if (number ==242) document.writeln ("She saved the world .... a lot.")
if (number ==243) document.writeln ("Fire bad, tree pretty.")
if (number ==244) document.writeln ("And try not to bleed on my couch. I just had it steam-cleaned.")
if (number ==245) document.writeln ("Wait! I have weapons!")
if (number ==246) document.writeln ("I'm fine. I just need to .... die for a minute.")
if (number ==247) document.writeln ("... and that way lies spooky carnival death.")
if (number ==248) document.writeln ("A wretched hive of scum and villiany.")
if (number ==249) document.writeln ("This deal is getting worse all the time.")
if (number ==250) document.writeln ("I'm not even supposed to be here today.")
if (number ==251) document.writeln ("Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb.")
if (number ==252) document.writeln ("Hello, Rob, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!")
if (number ==253) document.writeln ("Because it's Friday and you don't got shit to do.")
if (number ==254) document.writeln ("You just got knocked the fuck out.")
if (number ==255) document.writeln ("Good ... bad ... I'm the girl with the gun.")
if (number ==256) document.writeln ("Actually, it's Miss Chanandeler Bong")
if (number ==257) document.writeln ("With great power comes great responsibility")
if (number ==258) document.writeln ("Let's face it, Tiger. You just hit the jackpot.")
if (number ==259) document.writeln ("Go get 'em, Tiger.")
if (number ==260) document.writeln ("I am the best there is at what I do.")
if (number ==261) document.writeln ("Faster than a speeding bullet.")
if (number ==262) document.writeln ("More powerful than a locomotive.")
if (number ==263) document.writeln ("Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.")
if (number ==264) document.writeln ("The last daughter of Krypton.")
if (number ==265) document.writeln ("You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.")
if (number ==266) document.writeln ("One nation under umlauts")
if (number ==267) document.writeln ("Shout at the Devil!")
if (number ==268) document.writeln ("Too young to fall in love.")
if (number ==269) document.writeln ("Too fast for love.")
if (number ==270) document.writeln ("Don't go away mad, just go away.")
if (number ==271) document.writeln ("Metal up your ass!")
if (number ==272) document.writeln ("So far, so good, so what?")
if (number ==273) document.writeln ("Killing is my business, and business is good.")
if (number ==274) document.writeln ("Lights, camera, revolution!")
if (number ==275) document.writeln ("You can't bring me down!")
if (number ==276) document.writeln ("All I wanted was a Pepsi. Just one Pepsi.")
if (number ==277) document.writeln ("I'm not crazy! You're the one who's crazy!")
if (number ==278) document.writeln ("$35 and a six-pack to my name! SIX PACK!")
if (number ==279) document.writeln ("I drink alone. Yeah, with nobody else.")
if (number ==280) document.writeln ("Bad to the bone.")
if (number ==281) document.writeln ("Get a haircut and get a real job.")
if (number ==282) document.writeln ("Conceived in a Hell beyond your depth of perception.")
if (number ==283) document.writeln ("A chaotic case of conquering domination.")
if (number ==284) document.writeln ("A bludgeoning force that's undermining the government.")
if (number ==285) document.writeln ("A survivor in a twisted world where nothing is sacred.")
if (number ==286) document.writeln ("With my sights on the goddam killswitch.")
if (number ==287) document.writeln ("Prepare for salvation.")
if (number ==288) document.writeln ("On the threshold of revolution.")
if (number ==289) document.writeln ("Defying the laws of tradition.")
if (number ==290) document.writeln ("Insane in the membrane.")
if (number ==291) document.writeln ("Iller than a natural born killer.")
if (number ==292) document.writeln ("Isn't it ironic? Don't you think?")
if (number ==293) document.writeln ("Like rain on your wedding day.")
if (number ==294) document.writeln ("Like a free ride when you already paid.")
if (number ==295) document.writeln ("Who would have thought? It figures.")
if (number ==296) document.writeln ("This is why we can't have nice things.")
if (number ==297) document.writeln ("Who's a rock star? I am!")
if (number ==298) document.writeln ("You break it, you've bought it.")
if (number ==299) document.writeln ("I dare you to make less sense.")
if (number ==300) document.writeln ("Let's face it, Tiger. You just hit the jackpot.")
if (number ==301) document.writeln ("My Spidey sense is tingling.")
if (number ==302) document.writeln ("Well, I sort of test well, you know, which is cool. Except that it leads to jobs.")
if (number ==303) document.writeln ("Well, evil just compounds evil, doesn't it? First, I'm sentenced to a computer tutorial on Saturday. Now I have to read some computer book. There are books on computers? Isn't the point of computers to replace books?")
if (number ==304) document.writeln ("You know, computers are on the way out. I think paper's gonna make a big comeback.")
if (number ==305) document.writeln ("I don't think anyone should have to do anything educational in school if they don't want to.")
if (number ==306) document.writeln ("There are no dead students here. This week.")
if (number ==307) document.writeln ("It's funny how the earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to.")
if (number ==308) document.writeln ("Let me be sure I have this right - this witch is casting horrible and disfiguring spells ... so that she can become a *cheerleader*?")
if (number ==309) document.writeln ("Whatever is causing the Joan Collins 'tude, deal with it. Embrace the pain, spank your inner moppet, whatever, but get over it.")
if (number ==310) document.writeln ("Gym was cancelled due to the extreme dead guy in the locker.")
if (number ==311) document.writeln ("I mean, the dead rose. We should have at least had an assembly.")
if (number ==312) document.writeln ("My buds are here! I love my buds!")
if (number ==313) document.writeln ("It was pretty impressive. Although later there was an ick factor.")
if (number ==314) document.writeln ("Someone else's loss is my chocolatey goodness!")
if (number ==315) document.writeln ("Do you want me to answer that, or shall I just glare?")
if (number ==316) document.writeln ("It's devastating. He's turned into a sixteen-year-old boy. Of course you'll have to kill him.")
if (number ==317) document.writeln ("You know, people underestimate the value of a good ramble.")
if (number ==318) document.writeln ("I'm not ashamed. It's the computer age. Nerds are in. They're still in, right?")
if (number ==319) document.writeln ("Needs should definitely be met, as long as it doesn't require ointments the next day.")
if (number ==320) document.writeln ("We're still all rooting for you on Saturday. I'd be there for you myself if I didn't have a leg wax.")
if (number ==321) document.writeln ("I don't know what everyone's talking about, that outfit doesn't make you look like a hooker.")
if (number ==322) document.writeln ("Why does everyone always yell my name? I'm not deaf, and I can take a hint. What's the hint?")
if (number ==323) document.writeln ("Those who can do. Those who can't laugh at those who can do")
if (number ==324) document.writeln ("I'm fine. I mean, I'm not running around, wind in my hair, the hills are alive with the sound of music fine, but ...")
if (number ==325) document.writeln ("Cordelia, your mouth is open, sound is coming from it. This is never good.")
if (number ==326) document.writeln ("You're the Slayer and we're, like, the Slayerettes.")
if (number ==327) document.writeln ("I laugh in the face of danger! Then I hide until it goes away.")
if (number ==328) document.writeln ("I'm just gonna go home, lie down, and listen to country music. The music of pain.")
if (number ==329) document.writeln ("You're not a praying mantis, are you? Sorry ... someone else.")
if (number ==330) document.writeln ("It is kind of novel how he'll stay young and handsome forever, although you'll still get wrinkly and die ... and oh, what about the children? I'll be quiet now.")
if (number ==331) document.writeln ("I was brought up a proper lady. I wasn't meant to understand things. I'm just meant to look pretty, and then someone nice will marry me. Possibly a baron.")
if (number ==332) document.writeln ("We're your bosom friends, the friends of your bosom.")
if (number ==333) document.writeln ("I fed on a girl your age. Beautiful. Dumb as a post.")
if (number ==334) document.writeln ("Someone has to talk to her people. That name is striking fear in nobody's hearts.")
if (number ==335) document.writeln ("I'll never leave. Not even if you kill me.")
if (number ==336) document.writeln ("Cup of tea, cup a tea, almost got shagged, cup of tea. Demon monks. Shoulda gone to Vegas.")
if (number ==337) document.writeln ("I think you're just freaking out because you have to fight someone prettier than you.")
if (number ==338) document.writeln ("Want. Take. Have.")
if (number ==339) document.writeln ("I realize every Slayer comes with an expiration mark on the package, but I want mine to be a long time from now, like a Cheeto.")
if (number ==340) document.writeln ("I'm an old- fasioned gal.I was raised to believe that the men dig up the corpses and the women have the babies.")
if (number ==341) document.writeln ("I think I speak for everyone when i say huh?")
if (number ==342) document.writeln ("I'm not choosing between my girlfriend and my best friend. That's insane troll logic.")
if (number ==343) document.writeln ("Show me what you got. Then I'll show you what a slayer really is.")
if (number ==344) document.writeln ("Whenever Giles sends me on a mission, he always says Please. And afterwards I get a cookie.")
if (number ==345) document.writeln ("I'm the thing that monsters have nightmares about. And right now, you and me are gonna show 'em why.")
if (number ==346) document.writeln ("Did we not put the'grr' in girl?")
if (number ==347) document.writeln ("That's part of our whole mission statement. Don't get killed.")
if (number ==348) document.writeln ("Can you vague that up for me?")
if (number ==349) document.writeln ("And where'd you get that accent ... Sesame Street? One, two, tree victims, ha ha ha!")
if (number ==350) document.writeln ("I can beat up the demons until the cows come home ... and then I can beat up the cows.")
if (number ==351) document.writeln ("Oh! I know this one: Slaying entails certain sacrifices ... blah blah bity blah. I'm so stuffy, give me a scone.")
if (number ==352) document.writeln ("I won't wear my button that says, I'm a Slayer. Ask me how!")
if (number ==353) document.writeln ("I'm not afraid. You'd think I'd be afraid, but I'm not.")
if (number ==354) document.writeln ("Wait, handbook? What handbook? How come I don't have a handbook?")
if (number ==355) document.writeln ("I didn't say I'd never slay another vampire. It's not like I have all these fluffy bunny feelings for them, I'm just not going to get way extra-curricular with it.")
if (number ==356) document.writeln ("You're not, by any chance, betraying your secret identity just to impress, um, cute boys, are you?")
if (number ==357) document.writeln ("Okay, I'll give you improved marks for that one. Ripping the throat out - it's a strong visual, it's not cryptic.")
if (number ==358) document.writeln ("This is a question that no one particularly wants to hear but ... where did they put his head?")
if (number ==359) document.writeln ("We can't run, that would be wrong. Could we hide?")
if (number ==360) document.writeln ("Do I have anyone on watch here?! It's called security, people. Are you all asleep? Or did we finally find a restaurant that delivers?")
if (number ==361) document.writeln ("The part that gets me, though, is where Buffy is the Vampire Slayer. She's so little.")
if (number ==362) document.writeln ("Why go to all the trouble to dig up three girls only to chop them up and throw them away? It doesn't make any sense. Especially from a time management standpoint.")
if (number ==363) document.writeln ("So, you're a Slayer, huh? I like that in a woman.")
if (number ==364) document.writeln ("He's a vampire. He should die. Why am I the only one who sees that?")
if (number ==365) document.writeln ("I'm going to kill them all. That ought to distract them.")
if (number ==366) document.writeln ("There's one thing I really didn't factor into all this. You're a thundering loonie.")
if (number ==367) document.writeln ("You don't just sneak up on people in a graveyard. You make noise when you walk. You ... stomp. Or yodel.")
if (number ==368) document.writeln ("Well, ain't you just got the prettiest little neck I ever did see?")
if (number ==369) document.writeln ("I'm not worried. If there's something bad out there, we'll find, you'll slay, we'll party!")
if (number ==370) document.writeln ("Well, the hellmouth. The center of mystical convergence. Supernatural monsters. Been there!")
if (number ==371) document.writeln ("Gee, I wish people wouldn't leave open graves lying around like this.")
if (number ==372) document.writeln ("Eww! Why is it that every conversation you people have has the word 'corpse' in it?")
if (number ==373) document.writeln ("I don't like vampires. I'm going to take a stand and say they're not good.")
if (number ==374) document.writeln ("Those wacky vampires. That's why I love 'em. They just keeps ya guessing.")
if (number ==375) document.writeln ("That was hardly the worst mistake you'll ever make ... That wasn't quite as comforting as it was meant to be.")
if (number ==376) document.writeln ("A cranky Slayer is a careless Slayer.")
if (number ==377) document.writeln ("Buffy, when I said you could slay vampires, and have a social life, I didn't mean at the same time!")
if (number ==378) document.writeln ("I was totally beachless for a month and a half. No one suffered like I suffered.")
if (number ==379) document.writeln ("That's me favorite shirt. That's me only shirt!")
if (number ==380) document.writeln ("Things involving the computer fill me with a childlike terror. Now, if it were a nice ogre or some such, I'd be more in my element.")
if (number ==381) document.writeln ("Uh, Angel, if I say something you really don't want to hear, do you promise not to bite me?")
if (number ==382) document.writeln ("The bird's dead, Dru. You left it in a cage, and you didn't feed it, and now it's all dead, just like the last one.")
if (number ==383) document.writeln ("Now, this may sting a little just at first. But don't worry, that'll go away once the searing pain kicks in.")
if (number ==384) document.writeln ("You know, I always say that a day without an autopsy is like a day without sunshine.")
if (number ==385) document.writeln ("Can I just say ... ghuuuh!")
if (number ==386) document.writeln ("Neural clamping. That sounds skippable.")
if (number ==387) document.writeln ("Like this time I sort of ran over this girl on her bike. It was the most traumatizing event of *my* life, and she's trying to make it about her *leg*. Like my pain meant nothing.")
if (number ==388) document.writeln ("I have all these thoughts, and I'm pretty sure they all contradict each other.")
if (number ==389) document.writeln ("Being this popular is not just my right, but my responsibility.")
if (number ==390) document.writeln ("I saw the fire, I figured you'd be here.")
if (number ==391) document.writeln ("Okay, at this point, you're abusing sarcasm.")
if (number ==392) document.writeln ("I've never seen a dead body before. Do they usually move?")
if (number ==393) document.writeln ("There are some things I can just smell. It's like a 6th sense.")
if (number ==394) document.writeln ("Just sitting here watching our barren lives pass us by. Oh, look, a cockroach. *STOMP*")
if (number ==395) document.writeln ("We saved the world. I say we party!")
if (number ==396) document.writeln ("That probably would've sounded more convincing if I wasn't wearing my yummy sushi pajamas.")
if (number ==397) document.writeln ("Well, that works out great. You won't tell anyone that I'm the Slayer, and I won't tell anyone you're a moron.")
if (number ==398) document.writeln ("Mom, dead people are talking to you. Do the math!")
if (number ==399) document.writeln ("Oh, no ... I have to go take an English make-up exam. They give you credit just for speaking it, right?")
if (number ==400) document.writeln ("Cool! Crossbow! Check out these babies. Goodbye stakes, hello flying fatality.")
if (number ==401) document.writeln ("I'm gonna give you all a nice, fun, normal evening if I have to kill every person on the face of the Earth to do it.")
if (number ==402) document.writeln ("I don't play well with others.")
if (number ==403) document.writeln ("I gotta stop him before he unleashes unholy havoc and it's just another Tuesday night in Sunnydale.")
if (number ==404) document.writeln ("God! I am so mentally challenged!")
if (number ==405) document.writeln ("People to see, demons to kill.")
if (number ==406) document.writeln ("I didn't say you were stupid! So stop being an idiot and let me fix this!")
if (number ==407) document.writeln ("I'm putting my life on the line, battling the undead. Look, I broke a nail, ok? I'm wearing a press-on. The least you could do is exhibit some casual interest; you can go hmm.")
if (number ==408) document.writeln ("I'm a bloodsucking fiend! Look at my outfit!")
if (number ==409) document.writeln ("I knew it! I knew it! Well, not in the sense of having the slightest idea, but I knew there was something I didn't know.")
if (number ==410) document.writeln ("I just talked to Buffy, and yeah, I think she's feeling a little ... insane. No, not bitchy crazy, more like homicidal maniac crazy. So I told her to come see you, 'kay?")
if (number ==411) document.writeln ("No, no, no, no. No speaking up. That way leads to madness and sweaty palms.")
if (number ==412) document.writeln ("Hi, for those of you who just tuned in, everyone here is a crazy person.")
if (number ==413) document.writeln ("So, do we have to speak Spanish when we see him? Cause I don't know anything much besides Doritos and chihuahua.")
if (number ==414) document.writeln ("I can not stress enough how much I don't have plans.")
if (number ==415) document.writeln ("Are you ready to get down, you funky party weasel?")
if (number ==416) document.writeln ("Dorkhead? You lash me with your words!")
if (number ==417) document.writeln ("And they say that young people don't learn anything in high school nowadays, but I've learned to be afraid.")
if (number ==418) document.writeln ("Generally speaking, when scary things get scared, not good.")
if (number ==419) document.writeln ("Where are you from? The country of white trash?")
if (number ==420) document.writeln ("We're right behind you, only further back.")
if (number ==421) document.writeln ("For I am Xander, king of cretins. Let all lesser cretins bow before me.")
if (number ==422) document.writeln ("If anyone sees my spine lying about, just try not to step on it.")
if (number ==423) document.writeln ("I'm not gonna waste the perfect comeback on you now. But don't think I don't have it. Oh yes, it's time will come!")
if (number ==424) document.writeln ("Since Angel lost his soul, he's regained his sense of whimsy.")
if (number ==425) document.writeln ("I had very definite plans about my future. I was going to be a fighter pilot. Or possibly a grocer.")
if (number ==426) document.writeln ("You're *my* Slayer. Go on, knock his teeth down his throat.")
if (number ==427) document.writeln ("This is completely unprecedented. I'm quite flummoxed.")
if (number ==428) document.writeln ("I'll just jump in my time machine, go back to the Twelfth Century, and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show.")
if (number ==429) document.writeln ("Ahhhh, my head. I think I'm sobering up. It's horrible. Ah ... God ... I wish I was dead.")
if (number ==430) document.writeln ("Every Slayer has a death wish. Even you.")
if (number ==431) document.writeln ("Let's fight that evil! Let's kill something! Oh, come on!")
if (number ==432) document.writeln ("So when do we destroy the world, already?")
if (number ==433) document.writeln ("Real love isn't brains, children. It's blood. It's blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.")
if (number ==434) document.writeln ("A slayer with family and friends. That sure as hell wasn't in the brochure.")
if (number ==435) document.writeln ("Help me out here, Spock, I don't speak loser.")
if (number ==436) document.writeln ("You know you take the killing for granted. And then it's gone. And you're like, I wish I'd appreciated it more. Stopped and smelled the corpses.")
if (number ==437) document.writeln ("Well, our old place was just fine 'til you went and had it burned down.")
if (number ==438) document.writeln ("It's paradise. Big windows, lovely gardens. It'll be perfect when we want the sunlight to kill us.")
if (number ==439) document.writeln ("She just left. She didn't even care enough to cut off my head or set me on fire. I mean, is that too much to ask? You know? Some little sign that she cared?")
if (number ==440) document.writeln ("No, this is different. Our love was eternal. Literally.")
if (number ==441) document.writeln ("Listen to me, you stupid bint. This gem is everything. I came back to Sunnydale for it, a place which has witnessed some truly spectacular kickings of my ass.")
if (number ==442) document.writeln ("Isn't it a fantastic day? Birds singin', squirrels making lots of rotten little squirrels, sun beamin' down in a nice non-fatal way. It's very exciting. Can't wait to see if I freckle.")
if (number ==443) document.writeln ("Damn right I'm impure, I'm as impure as the driven yellow snow! Let me go!")
if (number ==444) document.writeln ("The thing about magic? There's always consequences. Always.")
if (number ==445) document.writeln ("I wanna torture you. I used to love it, and it's been such a long time. I mean, the last time I tortured someone, they didn't even *have* chainsaws.")
if (number ==446) document.writeln ("For a hundred years I offered ugly death to everyone I met, and I did it with a song in my heart.")
if (number ==447) document.writeln ("You know, I'm a little rusty when it comes to killing humans. It could take a while.")
if (number ==448) document.writeln ("Well, it's not really the kind of message you tell. It sort of involves finding the bodies of all your friends.")
if (number ==449) document.writeln ("It's good to be back in Sunnydale. Nice climate, plenty to eat, no tortured humanity to hold me down.")
if (number ==450) document.writeln ("There's more than one way to skin a cat. And I happen to know that factually that's true.")
if (number ==451) document.writeln ("Great, now I'm gonna be stuck with serious thoughts all day.")
if (number ==452) document.writeln ("There are things I will not tolerate: students loitering on campus after school, horrible murders with hearts being removed. And also smoking.")
if (number ==453) document.writeln ("It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.")
if (number ==454) document.writeln ("I've got to learn to just do the damage and leave town. It's the stay-'n'-gloat that gets me every time.")
if (number ==455) document.writeln ("Looks dead, smells dead, yet it's moving around. That's interesting.")
if (number ==456) document.writeln ("I have two words that are going to make all your troubles go away: Miniature Golf.")
if (number ==457) document.writeln ("When I'm around you Buffy I find myself needing to know the plural of apocalypse.")
if (number ==458) document.writeln ("When I'm fighting, it's like the whole world goes away. I only know one thing: that I'm gonna win, and they're gonna lose. I like that feeling.")
if (number ==459) document.writeln ("On a scale from one to ten? It sucked.")
if (number ==460) document.writeln ("I still don't know why we had to come here to look up information on a killer snot monster.")
if (number ==461) document.writeln ("Because it's a killer snot monster from outer space ... I did not say that.")
if (number ==462) document.writeln ("I'm wondering, where do I start? A card, fruit basket, hmm? Evisceration?")
if (number ==463) document.writeln ("Sure, it'll hurt like hell for about two hours. But she'll be dead just a little longer than that.")
if (number ==464) document.writeln ("He's got that same look on his face, the one he had that time I highlighted in his Babylon 5 novels.")
if (number ==465) document.writeln ("I guess you should know since you helped raise that demon that killed that guy that time.")
if (number ==466) document.writeln ("Oh, come on. A stake through the heart, a little sunlight. It's like falling off a log.")
if (number ==467) document.writeln ("Now this is not gonna be pretty. We're talking violence, strong language, adult content.")
if (number ==468) document.writeln ("Oh my God, is this some sort of residual werewolf thing? This is very disturbing.")
if (number ==469) document.writeln ("Like an army. Except with music, instead of bullets, and usually no one dies.")
if (number ==470) document.writeln ("I only wish I had my powers back. I'd liquefy his entrails for her.")
if (number ==471) document.writeln ("I, Anya, promise to love you, to cherish you, to honor you, uh, but not to obey you, of course, because that's anachronistic and misogynistic and who do you think you are, like a sea captain or something?")
if (number ==472) document.writeln ("And I happen to think mine is the level head and yours is the one things would roll off of.")
if (number ==473) document.writeln ("Let's not quibble about who failed who.")
if (number ==474) document.writeln ("You're really campaigning for bitch of the year, aren't you?")
if (number ==475) document.writeln ("You know what? I'm sick of this. I'm tired of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm through being everybody's butt-monkey!")
if (number ==476) document.writeln ("This is just too much. I mean, yesterday's my life like, uh oh, pop quiz. Today, it's rain of toads.")
if (number ==477) document.writeln ("Nobody could do that much decoupage without calling on the powers of darkness.")
if (number ==478) document.writeln ("The magic wasn't all great. I won't miss the nosebleeds and the headaches and stuff.")
if (number ==479) document.writeln ("I pictured something cooler. More ILM, less Ed Wood.")
if (number ==480) document.writeln ("Hey, standing right here! Standing right exactly here.")
if (number ==481) document.writeln ("What? Like I'm one of those losers who can't make friends outside her tight little circle? No. I'm friendly. We bonded instantly. Peas in a pod. Bonded peas.")
if (number ==482) document.writeln ("We must share equally in the cosmic joke that is bridesmaids-dom.")
if (number ==483) document.writeln ("Come on! This is a huge deal for me! Six years as a side man, and now I get to be the Slayer.")
if (number ==484) document.writeln ("You really need to have every square inch of your ass kicked.")
if (number ==485) document.writeln ("The Slayer thing really isn't about the violence. It's about the power. And there's no one in the world with the power to stop me now.")
if (number ==486) document.writeln ("It's possible that he's in the land of perpetual Wednesday, or the crazy melty land, or you know, th-the world without shrimp.")
if (number ==487) document.writeln ("It doesn't matter how you got hereor where you came from. You are my sister. There's no way you could annoy me as much if you weren't.")
if (number ==488) document.writeln ("I want to date and shop and hang out and go to school and save the world from unspeakable demons. You know, I wanna do girlie stuff!")
if (number ==489) document.writeln ("Will hiding in a cavern with stockpiled chocolate goods be any part of this plan?")
if (number ==490) document.writeln ("Giles, unto every generation is born one who must run the annual talentless show. You cannot escape your destiny.")
if (number ==491) document.writeln ("Seize the moment, cause tomorrow you might be dead.")
if (number ==492) document.writeln ("Alright, I get it. You're evil. Do we have to chat about it all day?")
if (number ==493) document.writeln ("It's a doodle. I do doodle. You too, you do doodle too.")
if (number ==494) document.writeln ("What's the hub-bub, bub?")
if (number ==495) document.writeln ("You know, chocolate is the cure to everything.")
if (number ==496) document.writeln ("I will overrun this earth. And when my army outnumbers the humans on this earth ... the scales will tip, and I will be made flesh.")
if (number ==497) document.writeln ("You know me, not much with the damseling.")
if (number ==498) document.writeln ("I'm getting the brush off for Captain Peroxide. It doesn't necessarily bring out the champion in me.")
if (number ==499) document.writeln ("Thank God we're hot chicks with superpowers.")
if (number ==500) document.writeln ("I don't want to be this good-looking and athletic. We all have crosses to bear.")
if (number ==501) document.writeln ("What part of punching you in the face do you not understand?")
if (number ==502) document.writeln ("Mark my words, the Slayer is going to kick your skanky, lopsided ass back to whatever place would take a cheap, whorish, fashion victim, ex-god like you.")
if (number ==503) document.writeln ("That's great, Larry. You're really mastered the single-entendre.")
if (number ==504) document.writeln ("I go online sometimes, but everyone's spelling is really bad, and it's depressing.")
if (number ==505) document.writeln ("God, you really were the little youthful offender. You must just look back at that and cringe.")
if (number ==506) document.writeln ("Our friends are in trouble. Now, we have to put our heads together and get them out of it.") ("And it you two aren't with me a hundred and ten percent, then get the hell out of my library!")
if (number ==507) document.writeln ("It's worth nothing, Harris. Whatever comes out of your mouth is a meaningless waste of breath. An airborne toxic event.")
if (number ==508) document.writeln ("Oh, forgiveness is my middle name. Well, actually it's LaVelle, and I'd appreciate it if you guard that secret with your life.")
if (number ==509) document.writeln ("Well, as it turns out, teleporting isn't a right, it's a privilege. I withdrew a vengeance spell last week, and this is my punishment. I can only teleport for official business. I have to file a flight plan and everything.")
if (number ==510) document.writeln ("What did I have for breakfast this morning? I want to say bagel, but I think that was yesterday. You had two eggs sunny side up. I remember because they were wiggling at me like little boobs.")
if (number ==511) document.writeln ("I ... love ... what you've neglected to do with the place.")
if (number ==512) document.writeln ("What's his number? Oh, yeah, 1-800-I'm-Dating-A-Skanky-Ho.")
if (number ==513) document.writeln ("I've gone out with some losers, but you ... you boinked the undead.")
if (number ==514) document.writeln ("I have a theory. Your snide remarks earlier? I'm guessing grapes a little on the sour side.")
if (number ==515) document.writeln ("Anya, I have faith in you. There is no one you cannot piss off.")
if (number ==516) document.writeln ("Mom, dead people are talking to you. Do the math.")
if (number ==517) document.writeln ("Can she cram complex issues into a nutshell, or what?")
if (number ==518) document.writeln ("I'm eleven hundred and twenty years old. Just gimme a frickin' beer!")
if (number ==519) document.writeln ("I have witnessed a millennium of treachery and oppression from the males of the species, and I have nothing but contempt for the whole libidinous lot of them.")
if (number ==520) document.writeln ("Faith would *totally* do that. Faith was *built* to do that. She's the *do that* girl.")
if (number ==521) document.writeln ("Who do you have to kill for fun around here?")
if (number ==522) document.writeln ("A black eye heals, but cowardice has an unlimited shelf life.")
if (number ==523) document.writeln ("Well, we could grind our enemies into talcum powder with a sledgehammer, but, gosh, we did that last night.")
if (number ==524) document.writeln ("Wow. It's a big rock. I can't wait to tell my friends. They don't have a rock this big.")
if (number ==525) document.writeln ("Oooh gang, did you hear that? A bonus day of class plus Cordelia. Mix in a little rectal surgery and it's my best day ever.")
if (number ==526) document.writeln ("I could be rich. I could be famous. I could have anything. Anyone. Even you, Spike. I could ride you at a gallop until your legs buckled and your eyes rolled up. I've got muscles you've never even dreamed of. I could squeeze you until you pop like warm champagne and you'd beg me to hurt you just a little bit more. And you know why I don't? Because it's wrong.")
if (number ==527) document.writeln ("It must have been wonderful. To put on some fantabulous gown and go to a ball like a princess. And have horses and servants and yet more gowns.")
if (number ==528) document.writeln ("I gotta stop him before he unleashes unholy havoc and it's just another Tuesday night in Sunnydale.")
if (number ==529) document.writeln ("Oh, listen to Mary Poppins. He's got his crust all stiff and upper with that nancy boy accent. You Englishmen are always so ... bloody hell. Sodding, blimey, shaggin, knickers, bollocks. Oh, God. I'm English.")
if (number ==530) document.writeln ("And if you get me out of this, I swear I'll never be mean to anyone ever again. Unless, they really deserve it or if it's that time of the month, in which case I don't think you or anyone else can hold me responsible.")
if (number ==531) document.writeln ("Excuse me. Who gave you permission to exist?")
if (number ==532) document.writeln ("If we die in here, I'm gonna kick your ass, I mean it.")
if (number ==533) document.writeln ("Looks dead, smells dead, yet it's moving around. That's interesting.")
if (number ==534) document.writeln ("I don't get this. The candy is supposed to make you feel all immature and stuff, but I've had a ton and I don't feel any diff -- never mind.")
if (number ==535) document.writeln ("This is just too much. I mean, yesterday's my life like, uh oh, pop quiz. Today, it's rain of toads.")
if (number ==536) document.writeln ("Well, 'cause you never know if a girl's gonna say yes or if she's gonna laugh in your face and pull out your still-beating heart and crush it into the ground with her heel.")
if (number ==537) document.writeln ("Well, yeah. I'd give anything to be able to turn invisible. I wouldn't use my powers to beat people up, but use my powers to protect the girl's locker room.")
if (number ==538) document.writeln ("Yes. And you were very nearly devoured by a giant demon snake. The words, 'Let that be a lesson' are a tad redundant at this juncture.")
if (number ==539) document.writeln ("You're what, shocked and surprised? Do I have to remind you that I am Evil?")
if (number ==540) document.writeln ("The Ring of Amara. Official sponsor of my killing you.")
if (number ==541) document.writeln ("I'm so very sorry. My contrition completely dwarfs the impending apocalypse.")
if (number ==542) document.writeln ("Did anyone else just go to a scary visual place?")
if (number ==543) document.writeln ("I don't like it. The thought that there's a vampire out there that looks like me.")
if (number ==544) document.writeln ("I thought a professional demon chaser like yourself would've figured it out by now. I'm the Slayer. Slay-er. Chosen One. She-who-hangs-out-a-lot-in-cemeteries? You're kidding. Ask around. Look it up: 'Slayer, comma, the.'")
if (number ==545) document.writeln ("Evil toenails. I took them off the floor last night when she was in the bathroom. She thought I was asleep.")
if (number ==546) document.writeln ("Yes, that's exactly the most appalling thing you could have said.")
if (number ==547) document.writeln ("So he *is* a good vampire? I mean on a scale of one to ten. Ten being someone who's killing and maiming every night. One being someone who's ... not.")
if (number ==548) document.writeln ("And on the day the words 'flimsy excuse' were redefined, we stood in awe and watched.")
if (number ==549) document.writeln ("Everything you ever dreaded was under your bed but told yourself couldn't be in the light of day. *They're all real*.")
if (number ==550) document.writeln ("Please get your extreme oafishness off my two-hundred-dollar shoes.")
if (number ==551) document.writeln ("She's sixteen going on forty. And *you* ... You're going to live forever, you don't have time for a cup of coffee?")
if (number ==552) document.writeln ("I believe the subtext here is rapidly becoming the text.")
if (number ==553) document.writeln ("Freud would have said the exact same thing. Except, he might not have done that little dance.")
if (number ==554) document.writeln ("I suppose there is a sort of Machiavellian ingenuity to your transgression.")
if (number ==555) document.writeln ("Think of the happy. If we don't find what we're looking for, we're facing the apocalypse.")
if (number ==556) document.writeln ("Add it up, it all spells duh.")
if (number ==557) document.writeln ("I spent a good part of my allowance on this new cream rinse and it's neither creamy nor rinsey.")
if (number ==558) document.writeln ("Hello, Miss Not-Over-Yourself-Yet?")
if (number ==559) document.writeln ("We're in the Crime Club, which is kind of like the Chess Club. Only with Crime. And no Chess.")
if (number ==560) document.writeln ("First they tell me I can't hunt an elephant for its ivory. Now I've got to deal with People for the Ethical Treatment of Werewolves.")
if (number ==561) document.writeln ("Yes, Xander, once again you've managed to boil a complex thought down to its simplest possible form.")
if (number ==562) document.writeln ("You should never be cowed by authority. Except, of course, in this instance where I am clearly right and you are clearly wrong.")
if (number ==563) document.writeln ("Well, aside from the fact that most magic shop owners in Sunnydale have the life expectancy of a Spinal Tap drummer, have you ever run a store before?")
if (number ==564) document.writeln ("I'm rash and impulsive. It's a flaw.")
if (number ==565) document.writeln ("And my God could you have a dorkier outfit?")
if (number ==566) document.writeln ("This is not the mother ship people. This ugly dead come to play.")
if (number ==567) document.writeln ("I have no time to shop, yet my hair and fingernails continue to grow. So, what's the diff?")
if (number ==568) document.writeln ("If you wanna be part of the Scooby Gang, you gotta put up with some inconvenience.")
if (number ==569) document.writeln ("Thanks for the wake up call, but I think I'll stick to my clock radio.")
if (number ==570) document.writeln ("Would you stop saying that? I was only dead for a little while.")
if (number ==571) document.writeln ("Ooh, good plan. Let's go, charge. Not quite, John Wayne.")
if (number ==572) document.writeln ("Sometimes in movies when people go crazy they slap them.")
if (number ==573) document.writeln ("And you're sure this isn't a fan boy thing? Cause I've fought more than a couple pimply overweight vamps that called themselves Lestat.")
if (number ==574) document.writeln ("You are strange and off-putting. Go now.")
if (number ==575) document.writeln ("I'm thinking about buying something very expensive. Maybe an antelope.")
if (number ==576) document.writeln ("She speaks with a strange evenness and selects her words a shade too precisely.")
if (number ==577) document.writeln ("If you want me to leave, you can put your hands on my hot, tight little body and move me.")
if (number ==578) document.writeln ("Don't you watch television? I thought all children despise effort and enjoy cartoons.")
if (number ==579) document.writeln ("At least when she was burning stuff down I knew what to say.")
if (number ==580) document.writeln ("It's been a long time since I killed one that doesn't know me.")
if (number ==581) document.writeln ("Did anybody order an apocalypse?")
if (number ==582) document.writeln ("The glorified bricklayer picks up a spare.")
if (number ==583) document.writeln ("Yeah, and the minute after that, I can terrify him with my alarming strength and remarkable self-involvement.")
if (number ==584) document.writeln ("She's dead to me now. Mostly 'cause I killed and ate her.")
if (number ==585) document.writeln ("And babies. You've got to plan babies, or they'll run rough-shod over your whole existence.")
if (number ==586) document.writeln ("For God's sake, man, she's 18, and you have the emotional stability of a blueberry scone. Just have at it, would you, and stop fluttering about.")
if (number ==587) document.writeln ("The fact that you're fat makes you look fat. That sweater just makes you look purple.")
if (number ==588) document.writeln ("I'm saying that Spike had a little trip to the vet, and now he doesn't chase the other puppies anymore.")
if (number ==589) document.writeln ("Hey, I don't have a pulse. Cool. Can we eat a doctor and get a stethoscope so I can hear my heart not beating?")
if (number ==590) document.writeln ("Isn't it weird how slaying always makes you hungry and horny?")
if (number ==591) document.writeln ("I don't want any trouble, I want a life, a house and a tea cozy, I don't even know what one is, but I want one.")
if (number ==592) document.writeln ("We have to find the nest, and fast, before Sunnydale turns into the Troublemeat Palace.")
if (number ==593) document.writeln ("Have a nice day. Don't get killed.")
if (number ==594) document.writeln ("Spike, I just saw you taste your own nose blood. You know what? I'm to grossed out to hear anything you have to say. Go Home.")
if (number ==595) document.writeln ("Why can't we just once find a bunny-worshipping cult?")
if (number ==596) document.writeln ("You saw her, she's a truck driving magic mama. We've got seconds before Darth Rosenberg grinds everyone into Jawa burgers and not one of you bunch has the mediclorines to even stop her.")
if (number ==597) document.writeln ("Got to hand it to you, Goldilocks, you do have a bleedin' tragic taste in men. I've got this cousin, married to a regurgitating Frovlax demon, who has better instincts than you.")
if (number ==598) document.writeln ("Besides, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this thing has been blown way out of proportion and he's gone back to wanting me dead.")
if (number ==599) document.writeln ("I don't know about you, but I'm gonna go trade my cow in for some beans.")
if (number ==600) document.writeln ("I may be a cold-blooded jelly donut, but my timing is impeccable.")
if (number ==601) document.writeln ("You know, my big sister could really beat the crap out of her. I mean, really, really.")
if (number ==602) document.writeln ("That's the flora kua alaya. A native of Paraguay, if my botany serves.")
if (number ==603) document.writeln ("I like music. I'm very into Britney Spears' early work, before she sold out. So mostly her finger painting and macaroni art.")
if (number ==604) document.writeln ("I'm sure there's tons of stuff like this. You know, procedures we can use that don't involve magic spells. Just good solid detective work. And we can develop a database of tooth impressions and demon skin samples and I could wear high heels more often.")
if (number ==605) document.writeln ("Except I'm less worried about hitting my thumb, and more worried about going all black-eyed baddy and bewitching that hammer into cracking my friends' skulls open like coconuts.")
if (number ==606) document.writeln ("Poems. Always a sign of pretentious inner turmoil.")
if (number ==607) document.writeln ("It's like someone slaughtered an Abercrombie & Fitch catalogue.")
if (number ==608) document.writeln ("When you look back at this in the, oh, three seconds it takes to turn to dust, I think you'll find the big mistake was touching my stuff.")
if (number ==609) document.writeln ("Is there something more emphatic than hate? Can I revile the plan?")
if (number ==610) document.writeln ("I guess you guys could use my help. Willow's not very good with the practical strategizing, except when she's evil.")
if (number ==611) document.writeln ("You could've learned it. You learned the entire Klingon dictionary in two and a half weeks.")
if (number ==612) document.writeln ("Back to what I was saying before we were rudely attacked by nothing.")
if (number ==613) document.writeln ("Check this out, they put cheese on round bread. It's gonna be big.")
if (number ==614) document.writeln ("Xander, just because this is never going to work is no need to be negative.")
if (number ==615) document.writeln ("Of course I'm scared. Last time we were here, 33.3 bar percent of us were flayed alive.")
if (number ==616) document.writeln ("I'm planning your death, but in a happy way.")
if (number ==617) document.writeln ("You're not at least gonna like leave me a crossbow or a flame thrower? Something to protect myself?")
if (number ==618) document.writeln ("Better be, because if I get vamped I'm gonna bite your ass.")
if (number ==619) document.writeln ("Math. This seemed more fun when we were singing about it.")
if (number ==620) document.writeln ("I don't suppose this is about happy squirrels?")
if (number ==621) document.writeln ("The cavalry is here. Of course the cavalry is a scared guy with a rock.")
if (number ==622) document.writeln ("Sorry to barge in. We have a slight apocalypse.")
if (number ==623) document.writeln ("I wasn't going to use violence. I don't always use violence. Do I?")
if (number ==624) document.writeln ("That's it. Twelve years of you and I'm snapping. I don't care if you're a girl or not, I'm throwing down, come on.")
if (number ==625) document.writeln ("I love syphilis more than you.")
if (number ==626) document.writeln ("Any second now you're gonna make me smoke tobacco and have drugs.")
if (number ==627) document.writeln ("Is anyone else waiting for it to go poof? Maybe we can cover it with flowers.")
if (number ==628) document.writeln ("I have a history with my witchy subconscious making things go kerfloopey.")
if (number ==629) document.writeln ("Get up. Get out. Get drunk. Repeat as needed.")
if (number ==630) document.writeln ("We should drop a piano on her. I mean, it always works for that creepy cartoon character rabbit when he beats that nice hunter with the speech impediment.")
if (number ==631) document.writeln ("I worship Beelzebub. I do his biddings. Do you see any goats around? No, because I sacrificed them.")
if (number ==632) document.writeln ("Go on, put your back into it. A Watcher scoffs at gravity.")
if (number ==633) document.writeln ("Oh bollocks. All the rubbish people keep sticking in my head, it's a wonder there's any room for my brain.")
if (number ==634) document.writeln ("Any apocalypse I avert without dying? Yeah, those are the easy ones.")
if (number ==635) document.writeln ("Let me get this straight: you think I'm evil if I take a group of teenage girls on a camping trip and I *don't* touch them?")
if (number ==636) document.writeln ("Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes. They got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses. And what's with all the carrots? What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?")
if (number ==637) document.writeln ("We're fugitives, haunted by our past, tormented by a message we don't understand.")
if (number ==638) document.writeln ("We're hunted men, driven mad by forces beyond our understanding.")
if (number ==639) document.writeln ("We're men of hidden power, tortured from within by-by a voice from out of nowhere.")
if (number ==640) document.writeln ("I respected your ideas for evil projects, and I thought you had good follow-through.")
if (number ==641) document.writeln ("Matthew Broderick did not kill Godzilla. He killed a big, dumb lizard. That was not the real Godzilla.")
if (number ==642) document.writeln ("You're firing me? I just refrained from kicking your ass.")
if (number ==643) document.writeln ("This town, walking anywhere after dark is like an extreme sport.")
if (number ==644) document.writeln ("I haven't processed everything yet. My brain isn't really functioning on the higher levels. It's pretty much fire bad, tree pretty.")
if (number ==645) document.writeln ("I'm scared. I assumed that you'd be scared and I'd be sarcastic about it.")
if (number ==646) document.writeln ("I used to be a highly respected Watcher, and now I'm a wounded dwarf with the mystical strength of a doily.")
if (number ==647) document.writeln ("All those shops gone. The Gap, Starbucks, Toys R Us, who will remember all those landmarks unless we tell the world about them?")
if (number ==648) document.writeln ("If I tried something big, I'd change. And then it's all black hair and veins and lightning bolts. I can hardly do a locator spell without getting dark roots.")
if (number ==649) document.writeln ("Come on, let's go assemble the cannon fodder.")
if (number ==650) document.writeln ("We had kind of a pajama party sleepover with weapons thing.")
if (number ==651) document.writeln ("To commemorate a past event you kill and eat an animal. A ritual sacrifice ... with pie.")
if (number ==652) document.writeln ("Singing my song now are you? You should pay me royalties for that one, at least get your own tune.")
if (number ==653) document.writeln ("We have to see the chimp playing hockey. That's hilarious. The ice is so slippery, and, and monkeys are all irrational. We have to see this.")
if (number ==654) document.writeln ("I wanna hurt you, but I can't resist the sinister attraction of your cold and muscular body.")
if (number ==655) document.writeln ("Time to slay. Vampires of the world beware.")
if (number ==656) document.writeln ("In case de curse does not succeed, dis is my lucky stake. I have killed many vampires wit it. I call it Mr. Pointy.")
if (number ==657) document.writeln ("I have, in fact, faced two vampires myself. Under controlled circumstances, of course.")
if (number ==658) document.writeln ("I didn't get this job because of my looks.")
if (number ==659) document.writeln ("Well. It's just good to know that when the chips are down and things look grim, you'll feed off the girl who loves you to save your own ass.")
if (number ==660) document.writeln ("Bunch of wanna blessed be's. Nowadays every girl with a henna tattoo and a spice rack thinks she's a sister to the dark ones.")
if (number ==661) document.writeln ("A year and a half ago I could have eviscerated him with my thoughts. Now I can barely hurt his feelings. Things used to be so much simpler.")
if (number ==662) document.writeln ("When I get this spell reversed, they'll be finding your body for weeks.")
if (number ==663) document.writeln ("This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed.")
if (number ==664) document.writeln ("Any clue on what college you might be attending so we can start calculating minimum safe distance?")
if (number ==665) document.writeln ("We Bohemian anti-establishment types have always been persecuted.")
if (number ==666) document.writeln ("Well, actually, the worst part, I'd have to go with the demon pouring the blood down your throat.")
if (number ==667) document.writeln ("Remember the three key words for any Slayer: Preparation ... preparation ... preparation.")
if (number ==668) document.writeln ("And the thing is, I like my evil like I like my men - evil. You know, 'straight up, black hat, Tied to the train tracks, soon my electro-ray will destroy Metropolis' bad. Not all mixed up with guilt and the destruction of an indigenous culture.")
if (number ==669) document.writeln ("You know if we want to be exactly sure it'll never be exactly I know the only really real Buffy is the real Buffy and she's gone who?")
if (number ==670) document.writeln ("Captain Logic is not steering this tugboat.")
if (number ==671) document.writeln ("Anyone who's not having fun yet ... follow me.")
if (number ==672) document.writeln ("Penguin, Joker, Riddler... and CATWOMAN, too! The sum of the angles of that rectangle is too monstrous to contemplate!")
if (number ==673) document.writeln ("I see the way to do it! We'll play each of our treacherous trumps in one hand, and we'll do it right here!")
if (number ==674) document.writeln ("My name is Kitayna Ireyna Tatanya Kerenska Alisoff. I work for the Moscow Bugle.")
if (number ==675) document.writeln ("Disposing of pre-atomic submarines to persons who don't even leave their full addresses? Good day, Admiral!")
if (number ==676) document.writeln ("A thought strikes me... So dreadful I scarcely dare give it utterance.")
if (number ==677) document.writeln ("The Riddler is loose to plague us with his criminal conundrums.")
if (number ==678) document.writeln ("It looks bad, Batman. This brassy bird has us buffaloed.")
if (number ==679) document.writeln ("They may be drinkers, Robin, but they're still human beings.")
if (number ==680) document.writeln ("Confound it, the batteries are dead!")
if (number ==681) document.writeln ("Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb.")
if (number ==682) document.writeln ("Gosh, drink is sure a filthy thing, isn't it? I'd rather be dead than unable to trust my own eyes!")
if (number ==683) document.writeln ("Hand down the shark repellent Batspray!")
if (number ==684) document.writeln ("Holy jumble! Where's the hope of the world now?")
if (number ==685) document.writeln ("A joke a day, keeps the glum away!")
if (number ==686) document.writeln ("A Russian is going to slip on a banana and hurt himself!")
if (number ==687) document.writeln ("No, you must PAY for what you did to me, for forcing me to live like this: never again to know the warmth of a summer breeze, never to feel the heat of burning logs in vintertime!")
if (number ==688) document.writeln ("That is what I need! Revenge! I will have revenge!")
if (number ==689) document.writeln ("Why is a woman in love like a welder? Because they both carry a torch!")
if (number ==690) document.writeln ("Egads! What sorcery is this? There was enough paralyzing gas in that cork to keep ordinary men unconscious for hours!")
if (number ==691) document.writeln ("No sorcery; merely the precaution of a Universal Drug Antidote PILL!")
if (number ==692) document.writeln ("I swear by all that's funny never to be taken in by that unconstitutional device again!")
if (number ==693) document.writeln ("Through the one thing you couldn't possibly have in your utility belt, Batman... a woman's intuition.")
if (number ==694) document.writeln ("No use, Joker! I knew you'd employ your sneezing powder, so I took an Anti-Allergy Pill! Instead of a SNEEZE, I've caught YOU, COLD!")
if (number ==695) document.writeln ("I don't know who he is behind that mask of his, but I do know when we need him ... and we need him now!")
if (number ==696) document.writeln ("I'm just going to hang around the bar. I don't want to look conspicuous.")
if (number ==697) document.writeln ("Catwoman, you are not a nice person!")
if (number ==698) document.writeln ("Maybe you can bully an aging mogul, but not me, Catwoman!")
if (number ==699) document.writeln ("Batgirls wilt just as quickly as other women!")
if (number ==700) document.writeln ("Here comes the bride, all bagged and tied!")
if (number ==701) document.writeln ("Naturally you didn't know I was wearing my special Super B long thermal underwear.")
if (number ==702) document.writeln ("If the caped crumb is here, the cowled creep can't be far behind.")
if (number ==703) document.writeln ("How many times must I tell you? Queens consume nectars and ambrosia, not hot dogs.")
if (number ==704) document.writeln ("You know I'm violently opposed to police brutality.")
if (number ==705) document.writeln ("Plenty of girls and bands and slogans and lots of hoopla, but remember, no politics. Issues confuse people.")
if (number ==706) document.writeln ("I'm not just pussyfooting around this time, Batman!")
if (number ==707) document.writeln ("Why, you're no dance teacher! You're Catwoman!")
if (number ==708) document.writeln ("The way we get into these scrapes and get out of them, it's almost as though someone was dreaming up these situations; guiding our destiny.")
if (number ==709) document.writeln ("Poor devil. Forced to live in an air-conditioned suit that keeps his body temperature down to fifty degrees below zero. No wonder his mind is warped.")
if (number ==710) document.writeln ("I never touch spirits. Have you some milk?")
if (number ==711) document.writeln ("Atomic batteries to power. Turbines to speed.")
if (number ==712) document.writeln ("Same Bat time, Same bat channel.")
if (number ==713) document.writeln ("When it comes to the human brain, we're not equipped.")
if (number ==714) document.writeln ("You're a blot on the name of Gotham City University. When the students find out what kind of a person you really are, they'll hate you forever.")
if (number ==715) document.writeln ("Just a second while I retrieve my beanie, my hair, my tweezers, and my notes.")
if (number ==716) document.writeln ("I've just perfected an Electronic Hair Bat-Analyzer which may hold the key to this baffling question.")
if (number ==717) document.writeln ("Oh, Catwoman, Catwoman, will you never learn?")
if (number ==718) document.writeln ("Under this garb, we're perfectly ordinary Americans.")
if (number ==719) document.writeln ("Nothing's sacred to those devils.")
if (number ==720) document.writeln ("Holy priceless collection of Etruscan snoods!")
if (number ==721) document.writeln ("Horrors! One lemon!")
if (number ==722) document.writeln ("I couldn't resist. You were taken in by her, but I'm too young for that sort of thing.")
if (number ==723) document.writeln ("The miserable weakling. He fainted dead away!")
if (number ==724) document.writeln ("Come on, Robin, to the Bat Cave! There's not a moment to lose!")
if (number ==725) document.writeln ("Woe is me, my criminal career is now egg-stinct!")
if (number ==726) document.writeln ("Pursuing the enemies of law and order, wherever they happen to be. Well, I don't want to hold you up from your crimefighting.")
if (number ==727) document.writeln ("Well, I hope you have something special cooked up for that caped creep.")
if (number ==728) document.writeln ("Ah, you are a man after my own heart, Joker!")
if (number ==729) document.writeln ("Holy haberdashery, Batman!")
if (number ==730) document.writeln ("Holy atomic pile, Batman!")
if (number ==731) document.writeln ("They got the MUSTARD out!")
if (number ==732) document.writeln ("This is my verse, HELLO.")
if (number ==733) document.writeln ("Look at me. I'm dancing crazy!")
if (number ==734) document.writeln ("Hey, I'm not wearing underwear.")
if (number ==735) document.writeln ("Get out. Get out! GET OUT!")
if (number ==736) document.writeln ("I have a theory. Some kid must be dreaming, and we're all trapped inside his wacky Broadway nightmare.")
if (number ==737) document.writeln ("If my heart could beat it would break my chest.")
if (number ==738) document.writeln ("Acta est Fabula!")
if (number ==739) document.writeln ("Exire Debilitas!")
if (number ==740) document.writeln ("Dinner is served, miss.")
if (number ==741) document.writlen ("Warriors, come out and play....")
if (number ==742) document.writeln ("CAN YOU DIG IT?")
if (number ==743) document.writeln ("That'll put some marzipan in your pie plate, bingo!")
if (number ==744) document.writeln ("Love the dead. Hate the living.")
if (number ==745) document.writeln ("It's alive! ALIVE! ALLLIIIIIIIIVE!")
if (number ==746) document.writeln ("Azarath! Metrion! Zinthos!")
if (number ==747) document.writeln ("SEDAGIVE?!?")
if (number ==748) document.writeln ("Roll, roll, roll in ze hay!")
if (number ==749) document.writeln ("Put..ze candle...back.")
if (number ==750) document.writeln ("Ohhhhhhhh, sweet mystery of life at last I've found you.")
if (number ==751) document.writeln ("Children of the night. What beautiful music they make.")
if (number ==752) document.writeln ("It's like no cheese I've ever tasted before.")
if (number ==753) document.writeln ("Everyone knows the moon is made of cheese.")
if (number ==754) document.writeln ("I aim to misbehave.")
if (number ==755) document.writeln ("I am a leaf on the wind.")
if (number ==756) document.writeln ("Girls kick ass. Says so on the t-shirt.")
if (number ==757) document.writeln ("I'm no stranger to stoner logic.")
if (number ==758) document.writeln ("If I just had my ass handed to me by a size three, I'd be inclined to mind my own business.")
if (number ==759) document.writeln ("If he gets out of line, I'll just kill him.")
if (number ==760) document.writeln ("I had to have radical emergency amateur brain surgery to remove a nanochip from my cerebellum before I stroked from a neurochemical overload.")
if (number ==761) document.writeln ("Well, well, well... so far, your moron colleagues have come up with the following excuses for why you're strolling in here at the crack of noon - you had a dental emergency, your aunt died... again, and my personal favorite from this idiot - you were detained by the sector police for practicing witchcraft. Now, would you care to further insult my intelligence?")
if (number ==762) document.writeln ("Mission accomplished. Now was that so difficult?")
if (number ==763) document.writeln ("Two million years of human evolution and this is what we get.")
if (number ==764) document.writeln ("Little fella. Little fella, everything's gone sideways. It's-It's FUBAR. There be people screaming. And-And Gem is trying to keep her legs crossed so the baby won't pop out.")
if (number ==765) document.writeln ("Word: bad guys with guns got sent to your place to kill people.")
if (number ==766) document.writeln ("Sometimes when you grease the palm, it makes the fingers slippery.")
if (number ==767) document.writeln ("I don't want to interrupt your social life with my petty concerns so why don't we just close down the business and live off the charity of strangers.")
if (number ==768) document.writeln ("The world will still be broken in the morning.")
if (number ==769) document.writeln ("Pain is a phantom of the mind.")
if (number ==770) document.writeln ("By the way, some of those black-helicopter storm-trooper folks stopped by, asking about a transgenic teenage killing machine. I said you were out.")
if (number ==771) document.writeln ("Isn't it against the superhuman code to use your powers to take advantage of we mere mortals?")
if (number ==772) document.writeln ("You know, this isn't exactly a plum assignment for me either.")
if (number ==773) document.writeln ("You spent half your life out there in filth and degradation. I could catch something.")
if (number ==774) document.writeln ("In case you haven't caught on by now, this girl's gonna do what she's gonna do no matter what you or anyone else says, so you've got two choices: back off or pitch in.")
if (number ==775) document.writeln ("Are you sure about all this? Pierpont Lemkin and the Taliban after some Star Wars widget in a robotic arm somewhere? Next thing you're gonna tell me aliens are involved.")
if (number ==776) document.writlen ("Fe'nos Tol, bitch!")
if (number ==777) document.writeln ("You know, this whole tough-chick act thing is really unbecoming. 'I'm gonna bounce you on your ass. I'm gonna smack your bitch head.' It's so unfeminine.")
if (number ==778) document.writeln ("The walls are mushy!")
if (number ==779) document.writeln ("It's cool if you like it, it's okay if you don't, but decide for yourselves.")
if (number ==780) document.writeln ("If I wasn't a key player in this whole conspiracy to brainwash the youth of America with rock music, we could totally date!")
if (number ==781) document.writeln ("That's really cool. If I could go back in time, I would want to meet Snoopy.")
if (number ==782) document.writeln ("Du Jour means teamwork!")
if (number ==783) document.writeln ("Du Jour means togetherness!")
if (number ==784) document.writeln ("That's great. Even our manager wants to listen to another band.")
if (number ==785) document.writeln ("That's Mr. Moviefone. He does all our subliminal messages.")
if (number ==786) document.writeln ("Puppies grow into dogs that get old and DIE!")
if (number ==787) document.writeln ("Oh my god. I'm a trend pimp!")
if (number ==788) document.writeln ("What are you gonna do? Kill me with the guitar?")
if (number ==789) document.writeln ("Ha! 115! I'm three pounds lighter then you! It's okay, though. It works for you.")
if (number ==790) document.writeln ("Look! Skanky had a rock show, and nobody came.")
if (number ==791) document.writeln ("They're not bunny, they're leopard. And they're not stupid, they're special. We're special.")
if (number ==792) document.writeln ("Maybe if you showed Dr. Zaius the proper respect, Dr. Zaius would stop showing you the POO!")
if (number ==793) document.writeln ("Unlike you bunch of whackjobs, I am perfect just the way I am.")
if (number ==794) document.writeln ("Holy shit! That girl has a skunk on her head!")
if (number ==795) document.writeln ("Whoa ... return of Miss Bossy!")
if (number ==796) document.writeln ("We heard what you said, Bitchy McBitch. Wish I had said it.")
if (number ==797) document.writeln ("Du Jour means seat belts. Du Jour means crash positions!")
if (number ==798) doucment.writeln ("I used to travel the continent. Fancy a snog?")
if (number ==799) document.writeln ("He should use some of that money to buy her a clue.")
if (number ==800) document.writeln ("What's the plural for 'butt'? On one person, I mean.")
if (number ==801) document.writeln ("Yes, were the ethnic festivities to your liking today?")
if (number ==802) document.writeln ("Big Red's a bitch, we all know that! Even she knows that!")
if (number ==803) document.writeln ("My brother wants to check out your rack.")
if (number ==804) document.writeln ("Follow me or perish, sweater monkeys.")
if (number ==805) document.writeln ("You are all fine athletes, thanks in most part ... to me.")
if (number ==806) document.writeln ("You are being a cheer-tator, Torrance, and a pain in my ass!")
if (number ==807) document.writeln ("Courtney, this is not a democracy, it's a cheerocracy. I'm overruling you.")
if (number ==808) document.writeln ("That's all right. That's OK! You're gonna pump our gas someday!")
if (number ==809) document.writeln ("Bring on the tyros, the neophytes, and the dilettantes.")
if (number ==810) document.writeln ("I *am* only cheerleading.")
if (number ==811) document.writeln ("Where the hell are my spanky pants?")
if (number ==812) document.writeln ("Missy's the poo, Whitney. Take a big whiff.")
if (number ==813) document.writeln ("Big Red ran the show, man. We were just flying ignorami, for sobbing out loud.")
if (number ==814) document.writeln ("Oh, don't play dumb. We're better at it then you.")
if (number ==815) document.writeln ("I hate to be predictable, but I don't give a shit!")
if (number ==816) document.writeln ("Making money from guys oogling my goodies.")
if (number ==817) document.writeln ("She puts the 'whore' in 'horrifying'.")
if (number ==818) document.writeln ("She puts the 'itch' in 'bitch'.")
if (number ==819) document.writeln ("You put the 'lewd' in 'deluded'.")
if (number ==820) document.writeln ("She puts the 'ass' in 'massive'.")
if (number ==821) document.writeln ("Well, I have to admit that things are really starting to look up for me since my life turned to shit.")
if (number ==822) document.writeln ("It's a really great video game about a guy who kills people with a big hammer.")
if (number ==823) document.writeln ("I don't know, I kind of like him. He's the exact opposite of everything I really hate. In a way, he's such a clueless dork, he's almost kind of cool.")
if (number ==824) document.writeln ("Josh, he's nobody's boyfriend, he's just this guy that Becky and I like to torture.")
if (number ==825) document.writeln ("You're a beautiful girl, I couldn't imagine you'd have any interest in me except as an amusingly cranky eccentric curiosity.")
if (number ==826) document.writlen ("Some people are ok, mostly I just feel like poisoning everybody.")
if (number ==827) document.writeln ("So what was all that about enlarged holes and tight cracks?")
if (number ==828) document.writeln ("You think it's healthy to obsessively collect things? You can't relate to other people, so you fill your life with stuff ... I'm just like all these other collector losers.")
if (number ==829) document.writeln ("Medium? Why sir, did you now know that for a mere 25 cents more you can purchase a large beverage? And you know ... I'm only telling you this because we're such good friends: Medium is really only for suckers who don't know the concept of value.")
if (number ==830) document.writeln ("Let the machine get it, I have no desire to talk to anyone who might be calling me.")
if (number ==831) document.writeln ("It's not like I'm some modern punk, dickhead. It's an obvious, 1977 original punk rock look. I guess Johnny fuckface over there's too stupid to realize it.")
if (number ==832) document.writeln ("I wish. Actually you wish ... after about five minutes of this movie, you're gonna wish you had ten beers.")
if (number ==833) document.writeln ("This is so bad it's gone past good and back to bad again.")
if (number ==834) document.writeln ("Wow, look at me. I'm not even listening to a word you're saying.")
if (number ==835) document.writeln ("I'm taking a remedial high school art class for fuck-ups and retards.")
if (number ==836) document.writeln ("Dear Josh, we came by to fuck you, but you were not home. Therefore ... you are gay. Signed Tiffany, and Amber.")
if (number ==837) document.writeln ("Rock n' roll, baby: Freedom of speech.")
if (number ==838) document.writeln ("That's not true. I just hate all these extroverted, obnoxious, pseudo-bohemian losers.")
if (number ==839) document.writeln ("I know, I liked her better when she was an alcoholic crack addict! She gets in one car wreck and all of a sudden she's Little Miss Perfect and everybody loves her.")
if (number ==840) document.writeln ("Maybe I don't want to meet someone who shares my interests. I hate my interests.")
if (number ==841) document.writeln ("Fuck a doodle doo!")
if (number ==842) document.writeln ("How's that for a slice of fried gold?")
if (number ==843) document.writeln ("Can I get... any of you cunts... a drink?")
if (number ==845) document.writeln ("Come and get it! It's a running buffet!")
if (number ==846) document.writeln ("Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?")
if (number ==847) document.writeln ("You've got red on you.")
if (number ==848) document.writeln ("Cock it!")
if (number ==849) document.writeln ("Well, your mum rang about you going around tomorrow night, and then Liz rang about the two of you eating out tonight, and then your mum rang back to see if I wanted to eat her out tonight.")
if (number ==850) document.writeln ("Get fucked, four eyes! Why don't you go out with her if you love her so much?")
if (number ==851) document.writeln ("What am I doing? What are you doing, you stupid moron?")
if (number ==852) document.writeln ("I'll stop doing them when you stop laughing!")
if (number ==853) document.writeln ("I did NOT call Diane a failed actress!")
if (number ==854) document.writeln ("Would anyone like... a peanut?")
if (number ==855) document.writeln ("What's up, niggas?")
if (number ==856) document.writeln ("Ohh, for God's sake! He's got an arm off!")
if (number ==857) document.writeln ("Don't forget to kill Philip!")
if (number ==858) document.writeln ("We're coming to get you, Barbara!")
if (number ==859) document.writeln ("Okay. But dogs CAN look up!")
if (number ==860) document.writeln ("For fuck's sake!")
if (number ==861) document.writeln ("Fuck. It's gorgeous.")
if (number ==862) document.writeln ("Vacant, with a hint of sadness. Like a drunk who's lost a bet.")
if (number ==863) document.writeln ("It's fresh. It's redundant.")
if (number ==864) document.writeln ("So, you whizzed on the electric fence, didn't you?")
if (number ==865) document.writeln ("Ja, it is our favorite game in de whole world.")
if (number ==866) document.writeln ("At last I have control of your TV set. Are you receiving me? Welcome to our secret headquarters.")
if (number ==867) document.writeln ("Wow. Willikers! It's so big.")
if (number ==868) document.writeln ("You filthy swine. I will kill you!")
if (number ==869) document.writeln ("Everything's so clear to me now. I'm the King of the Cheese, and you're the Lemon Merchant.")
if (number ==870) document.writeln ("Go ahead, Ren, say something in Limburger.")
if (number ==871) document.writeln ("Do you have to keep tapping like that, you bloated sack of protoplasm?")
if (number ==872) document.writeln ("Hey, Stimpy, go answer the flap.")
if (number ==873) document.writeln ("RIGHT. Now shut up and look stupid.")
if (number ==874) document.writeln ("Eeet iz not I who am crazy; eeet iz I who am MAD.")
if (number ==875) document.writeln ("Can you spare a cup of protoplasm?")
if (number ==876) document.writeln ("Shut up you fool! How do we know we can trust them?")
if (number ==877) document.writeln ("Don't touch it! You fool! It's the history eraser button!")
if (number ==878) document.writeln ("YOU SICK LITTLE MONKEY!")
if (number ==879) document.writeln ("What's de matter with you man? Have you no sense of hygiene?")
if (number ==880) document.writeln ("You don't wake up from the *big* sleep.")
if (number ==881) document.writeln ("At last I have control of your T.V. set. Is you're mother there? No? Good! Welcome to our secret headquarters.")
if (number ==882) document.writeln ("Belay that nose-picking, Cadet!")
if (number ==883) document.writeln ("Don't listen to him, he's a good guy but not quite right in the head.")
if (number ==884) document.writeln ("It stays crunchy, even in milk.")
if (number ==885) document.writeln ("Happy-happy, joy-joy.")
if (number ==886) document.writeln ("Look at you, man! You're a full-grown cat still watching cartoons! Why, you're three-years-old! Do you know what that is in human years?")
if (number ==887) document.writeln ("Oh, listen to me, man. I'm your friend. Don't you know cartoons will ruin your mind? Look what it's done to your brain!")
if (number ==888) document.writeln ("I'm all out of powdered toast!")
if (number ==889) document.writeln ("Quick, man! Cling tenaciously to my buttocks!")
if (number ==890) document.writeln ("I think this line is mostly filler.")
if (number ==891) document.writeln ("Victor Von Doom's favorite blog.")
if (number ==892) document.writeln ("Kang the Conqueror's favorite blog.")
if (number ==893) document.writeln ("Anton Arcane's favorite blog.")
if (number ==894) document.writeln ("The Ultra-Humanite's favorite blog.")
if (number ==895) document.writeln ("Adolf Hitler's favorite blog.")
if (number ==896) document.writeln ("The Yellow Claw's favorite blog.")
if (number ==897) document.writeln ("Emma Frost's favorite blog.")
if (number ==898) document.writeln ("Ra's Al Ghul's favorite blog.")
if (number ==899) document.writeln ("Arnim Zola's favorite blog.")
if (number ==900) document.writeln ("Maximus the Mad's favorite blog.")
if (number ==901) document.writeln ("The Red Skull's favorite blog.")
if (number ==902) document.writeln ("Vlad the Impaler's favorite blog.")
if (number ==903) document.writeln ("Jason Voorhees 2nd favorite blog.")
if (number ==904) document.writeln ("Freddy Krueger's 2nd favorite blog.")
if (number ==905) document.writeln ("Samarra Morgan's favorite blog.")
if (number ==906) document.writeln ("Chinese. Japanese. Dirty knees. Look at these.")
if (number ==907) document.writeln ("The next thing out of your mouth better be some fucking brilliant Mark Twain Shit, because it's going to get chisled on your tombstone.")
if (number ==908) document.writeln ("I'm gonna have to be taking your car today. See, I have some super-secret clown business that supercedes whatever plans you might have for this vehicle.")
if (number ==909) document.writeln ("I have this unavoidable appreciation for nougat.")
if (number ==910) document.writeln ("I predict buttsores.")
if (number ==911) document.writeln ("Why run down there and screw one cow when you can walk down there and screw two cows?")
if (number ==912) document.writeln ("Hard is the new Normal.")
if (number ==913) document.writeln ("Have fun scraping up all those brains off the road.")
if (number ==914) document.writeln ("Ha, ha! My horse is on fire!")
if (number ==915) document.writeln ("Tutti fucking frutti!")
if (number ==916) document.writeln ("Will you shut the fuck up? There is no fucking ice cream in your future.")
if (number ==917) document.writeln ("Sarah Johnson wants to destroy you.")
if (number ==918) document.writeln ("Sarah Johnson wants to destroy you.")
if (number ==919) document.writeln ("Sarah Johnson wants to destroy you.")
if (number ==920) document.writeln ("Sarah Johnson wants to destroy you.")
if (number ==921) document.writeln ("Chickens don't clap!")
if (number ==922) document.writeln ("Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire.")
if (number ==923) document.writeln ("You know, we're not the only ones destroying trees. What about beavers? You call yourself an environmentalist, why don't you go club a few beavers?")
if (number ==924) document.writeln ("How much could a banana cost? Ten dollars?")
if (number ==925) document.writeln ("I don't need none of yo' tired-ass country club, ya freak bitch!")
if (number ==926) document.writeln ("Wow, there's just so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.")
if (number ==927) document.writeln ("Mother, not all homosexuals are flamboyant... and... oh my god, I have the exact same blouse!")
if (number ==928) document.writeln ("Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder?")
if (number ==929) document.writeln ("Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold T-shaped pendants?")
if (number ==930) document.writeln ("Are you sure these aren't balls? Because last time, they were balls.")
if (number ==931) document.writeln ("Part of a nutritious breakfast.")
if (number ==932) document.writeln ("I blame Ashley!")
if (number ==933) document.writeln ("Hulk want Freddie Prinze Jr.!!!!!")
if (number ==934) document.writeln ("Do you think this A on my forehead stands for France?")
if (number ==935) document.writeln ("Hey, Banner! Betty Ross got a rack as nice as these?")
if (number ==936) document.writeln ("Have you tasted enough of Mjolner yet?")
if (number ==937) document.writeln ("I don't fuck goats, Mr. Gibson. I make love to them.")
if (number ==938) document.writeln ("Now get in the fucking car while I still got this Little Miss Patient smile on my face, asshole.")
if (number ==939) document.writeln ("I'm the scariest super-fuck who ever walked the Earth.")
if (number ==940) document.writeln ("If I was chocolate, I swear I'd eat myself right now.")
if (number ==941) document.writeln ("Only difference between a dream and a nightmare is how big your balls are, bitch.")
if (number ==942) document.writeln ("That's exactly what you think it is--my own little fuck you to the world.")
if (number ==943) document.writeln ("Girls, I want you to kill these motherfuckers.")
if (number ==944) document.writeln ("This is the last guy who fucked with us. Want some?")
if (number ==945) document.writeln ("I'll handle it, Leon.")
if (number ==946) document.writeln ("Talk about your near death experience.")
if (number ==947) document.writeln ("Well, if it isn't the bitch in the red dress.")
if (number ==948) document.writeln ("Too bad cat doesn't like pizza. Your loss, cat.")
if (number ==949) document.writeln ("Because Earl had to die!")
if (number ==950) document.writeln ("Cowboy take me away.")
if (number ==951) document.writeln ("Some days you gotta dance.")
if (number ==952) document.writeln ("Not ready to make nice.")
if (number ==953) document.writeln ("I wanna rock!")
if (number ==954) document.writeln ("Shock the monkey.")
if (number ==955) document.writeln ("Did I forget 60B? DID I FORGET 60B?")
if (number ==956) document.writeln ("It's clobbering time!")
if (number ==957) document.writeln ("Flame on!")
if (number ==958) document.writeln ("Excelsior!")
if (number ==959) document.writeln ("Scream for me Long Beach!")
if (number ==960) document.writeln ("Some heads are going to roll.")
if (number ==961) document.writeln ("Living after midnight.")
if (number ==962) document.writeln ("Screaming for vengeance.")
if (number ==963) document.writeln ("I don't want to get you drunk, but, ah, that's a very fine Chardonnay you're not drinking.")
if (number ==964) document.writeln ("You're a fucking ugly bitch. I want to stab you to death, and then play around with your blood.")
if (number ==965) document.writeln ("Listen, you'll have to excuse me. I have a lunch meeting with Cliff Huxtable at the Four Seasons in 20 minutes.")
if (number ==966) document.writeln ("I like to dissect girls. Did you know I'm utterly insane?")
if (number ==967) document.writeln ("I need to engage in homicidal behaviour on a massive scale. It can not be corrected but I have no other way to fulfill my needs.")
if (number ==968) document.writeln ("My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.")
if (number ==969) document.writeln ("I'm into... well murders and executions mostly.")
if (number ==970) document.writeln ("If you don't shut your fucking mouth, I will kill you.")
if (number ==971) document.writeln ("I want to get high off this, not sprinkle it on my fucking Oaties.")
if (number ==972) document.writeln ("Pumpkin, you're dating an asshole.")
if (number ==973) document.writeln ("I think if you stay, something bad will happen. I think I might hurt you. You don't want to get hurt, do you?")
if (number ==974) document.writeln ("I have to return some videotapes.")
if (number ==975) document.writeln ("My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone, in fact I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape, but even after admitting this there is no catharsis, my punishment continues to elude me and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself; no new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing.")
if (number ==976) document.writeln ("Shifting your paradigms since 2003.")
if (number ==977) document.writeln ("Corrupting your children since 2003.")
if (number ==978) document.writeln ("Scaring your parents since 2003.")
if (number ==979) document.writeln ("Taking out the trash since 2003.")
if (number ==980) document.writeln ("Fighting the power since 2003.")
if (number ==981) document.writeln ("Raising hell since 2003.")
if (number ==982) document.writeln ("Burning down the house since 2003.")
if (number ==983) document.writeln ("Running with the devil since 2003.")
if (number ==984) document.writeln ("Swimming with sharks since 2003.")
if (number ==985) document.writeln ("Circling the drain since 2003.")
if (number ==986) document.writeln ("Rocking the casbah since 2003.")
if (number ==987) document.writeln ("Shouting at the devil since 2003.")
if (number ==988) document.writeln ("Banging your head since 2003.")
if (number ==989) document.writeln ("Knocking on your back door since 2003.")
if (number ==990) document.writeln ("Styling and profiling since 2003.")
if (number ==991) document.writeln ("Kicking ass since 2003.")
if (number ==992) document.writeln ("Haunting your house since 2003.")
if (number ==993) document.writeln ("Ticking like a time bomb since 2003.")
if (number ==994) document.writeln ("We lie! We cheat! We steal!")
if (number ==995) document.writeln ("Phoning it in since 2003.")
if (number ==996) document.writeln ("Anarchy incarnate since 2003.")
if (number ==997) document.writeln ("Rioting in the streets since 2003.")
if (number ==998) document.writeln ("Preaching the gospel since 2003.")
if (number ==999) document.writeln ("Stealing your girlfriend since 2003.")
if (number ==1000) document.writeln ("That'll put some marzipan in your pie plate bingo!")
if (number ==1001) document.writeln ("Using your illusion since 2003.")
if (number ==1002) document.writeln ("Sleeping with your sister since 2003.")
if (number ==1003) document.writeln ("Beating up the neighbor kids since 2003.")
if (number ==1004) document.writeln ("Suffering from cat scratch fever since 2003.")
if (number ==1005) document.writeln ("Wanted dead or alive since 2003.")
if (number ==1006) document.writeln ("Reigning in blood since 2003.")
if (number ==1007) document.writeln ("Rousting the locals since 2003.")
if (number ==1008) document.writeln ("Messing with the squares since 2003.")
if (number ==1009) document.writeln ("Stoning the crow since 2003.")
if (number ==1010) document.writeln ("Tapping the vein since 2003.")
if (number ==1011) document.writeln ("Exploring the Borderlands since 2003.")
if (number ==1012) document.writeln ("Draining your blood since 2003.")
if (number ==1013) document.writeln ("Crawling chaos since 2003.")
if (number ==1014) document.writeln ("Burning London since 2003.")
if (number ==1015) document.writeln ("Stomping Tokyo since 2003.")
if (number ==1016) document.writeln ("Conquering the Earth since 2003.")
if (number ==1017) document.writeln ("Killing time since 2003.")
if (number ==1018) document.writeln ("Exorcising my personal demons since 2003.")
if (number ==1019) document.writeln ("Dropping jobbers on their heads since 2003.")
if (number ==1020) document.writeln ("Throwing molotov cocktails since 2003.")
if (number ==1021) document.writeln ("Running with scissors since 2003.")
if (number ==1022) document.writeln ("Digging your grave since 2003.")
if (number ==1023) document.writeln ("On the road to hell since 2003.")
if (number ==1024) document.writeln ("Fighting off eternal damnnation since 2003.")
if (number ==1025) document.writeln ("Occupying Paris since 2003.")
if (number ==1026) document.writeln ("Drinking the red Kool-Aid since 2003.")
if (number ==1027) document.writeln ("Flying off the handle since 2003.")
if (number ==1028) document.writeln ("Shot in the heart since 2003, and you're to blame.")
if (number ==1029) document.writeln ("Stunning in black since 2003.")
if (number ==1030) document.writeln ("Dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight since 2003.")
if (number ==1031) document.writeln ("Eating only the green M&M's since 2003.")
if (number ==1032) document.writeln ("Employee of the Month: December 2006.")
if (number ==1033) document.writeln ("Void where prohibited.")
if (number ==1034) document.writeln ("Sorry, Tennessee!")
if (number ==1035) document.writeln ("Part of a nutritious breakfast.")
if (number ==1036) document.writeln ("Side effects may include: dry mouth, nausea, drowsiness, bleeding from the rectum, infection, blindness and death.")
if (number ==1037) document.writeln ("Not to be confused with the disease cancer.")
if (number ==1038) document.writeln ("What a collection of assholes.")
if (number ==1039) document.writeln ("Whisky Tango Foxtrot.")
if (number ==1040) document.writeln ("Where a project is made out of everything.")
return (-10)
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