... it's also what I'm calling the new operating procedure for yours truly. I think for a while I've been in kind of a rut, let things go, gotten lazy, and stopped paying attention to a few things. Having come to this conclusion, it then falls on me to decide what to do about it. After the last period of complete entropy (2000-spring 2007) didn't do me much good at all, well, we're not going to let that happen again. So before anything starts to slide into the muck, I am going to take action. What snapped that entropic period, and the one before that, and the one before that, and the one before that, was the introduction of a chaotic element that introduced catastrophic change into my life as I knew it. Usually, this takes the form of a female, such as Shannon or Jen. Since there is no chaotic element in play at the current time, and I don't feel like sitting around here until one is provided me by the Nice Lady, the only thing to do is to start introducing some catastrophic change my own self.
Now, how do we do that, you might ask? Well, as always, being who and what I am, I have some ideas already, and I know more ideas will eventually present themselves to me in the coming days. But I'm going to start out small now and branch out later. I have, for example, a number of loose ends that need tying up. Many of those loose ends are related to online things, but they are easily taken care of. Within a few days, if things go as they should, and once the destruction is done with, you'll be hearing back on that. Some of those loose ends are offline, though, and could be a little harder to see to a conclusion. I'll let you know how that turns out.
There are a lot of things just around the house here that need attention, which I've let sit forever, because I'm lazy or busy with other things. Well, all of that is going to be taken care of, too. That means I have to sort through some old shit, organize some other shit, and throw some useless shit out. It won't be anything like throwing out all my comic books (I've tried that before; it never sticks), but there is stuff that I just don't need anymore that's cluttering up my space (Huh. That pretty much applies to stuff that's clogging up my mental space that I might not need anymore, too. I'll ponder that). This place, meaning the apartment, is meant to be my 'office'. It isn't meant to be a cluttered mess of crap. I'm going to fix that.
There's also me. I'm not in the best shape I've ever been in. I still need to make a plan with my dentist. And there's the matter of my hair, which never recovered from when I buzzcut it back before the California trip in 97, and is the reason I always wear a hat in public. There's a few other things, too. Anything, and I mean *anything* that bothers me about myself is something I'm going to take a hard look at and come to some decisions regarding. That goes for the shyness, too. That more than anything is holding me back from things I want to do, and that's unacceptable. Anything that's holding me back just has to go. That's all there is to it.
The book. I'll spare you my rededication speech to this, because you've all heard it, more than once, so instead of talking about it ... I'm just going to do it. I'm coming within seeing the end of Season Three out there on the horizon, which will be several chapters of stuff that nobody else has ever read before. Hmmm. Maybe the first chapter of it, but nevermind. It's pretty much brand new stuff, which is exciting for me. Everything after that point is stuff that I haven't even seen before, which is also very exciting in addition to being a little frightening. But that's all part of the rut I've been in. I can remember way back in Turners Falls, sitting at that kitchen table every night, creating new stuff that filled up several of the earlier chapters, and that was one of the most fun times I've ever had writing anything. I want that feeling back. There's only one way to get it.
I've been thinking of something else lately, too. I think I'm ready to find a writing group around here, if there is one, or something like that, whatever else there is, where I can get some discussion and feedback and find out where I am with things. I think it's time to start figuring out publication options, seeing who's out there for editors and agents. I want to try and expand my underground reading circuit, too. I mmmmight have a person or two in mind, but I'd have to get in touch with them first, so it's nothing immediate. I just want to get my shit together, get a few good people to read what I have, and get somewhere in my life.
It's pretty much now or never.
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