Virgorama

"Dear Star-Reader Brezsny: You are the only wizard who can save me. I have a bad job -- just $72,000 a year -- plus a lover who's not all that cute and a home that's not worth as much as it used to be. My health is good but I hate my nose and ass. Can't afford a BMW or a vacation to Spain. My world is unraveling! Hope is fading! Please tell me what to do! - Virgo on the Verge." Dear On the Verge: I suggest that you temporarily suspend your strident yearning. This is one time when it's important to cultivate more appreciation for what you actually have. I urge you and all Virgos to turn your attention away from what you think you lack, and devote your psychic energy to loving what is.

All right. Now there's a horoscope I not only understand, but is useful to me. And I'm already getting to work on that advice.