Post #268 Not Suitable for Broadcast

Yeah, so you know what I just did? I did something that's a first for any blog I've ever run -- I wrote out a whole post and saved it to draft, with the intention that it never sees the light of day. There was a small blackness in my heart, and I had to write something about it, but I can't publish it. And so it sits there in the archives, saved for a later time when I need to remember what it's about and why, and I can look back on it and maybe feel better about the whole thing.

It isn't so much that the subject matter is all that dark. I mean, if I can write something like "Darkness Descending" and throw that out there for anyone to read, how bad must this post be that I'm burying it? In all fairness, I don't think this one was as dark and terrible as that one was. I'm not going to go out and do something horrible, and there's no need to worry about my health or whatever. I'm fine. I'll be fine. I'm just not in a good mood and I wanted to write about it.

So why is it buried then? Because I'm well aware of who exactly is in my reading audience, and some of the post is sensitive to that fact. It isn't like in the Joyride days where if Lib had something to say she'd just say it right there in print and let the chips fall where they may. In SB here I have some responsibility, and because of that I need to be more careful, even if I'm a little unhappy in my life right now and need to vent about it.

Yeah, so why mention it at all then if you've buried it? Don't you know, dumbass, that nobody would have ever known about this post if you didn't make THIS post and talk about that one? Yeah, I know. I'm not willing to put that post out into the world, but I am willing to talk about what I talked about in a chat.

And maybe I don't want to pretend that I'm feeling all sunshine and roses right now, because I'm not.