Smart Ass

So at work the real me has started to come out. You remember the real me, yes? The wise-acre smart ass from FMC, who used to joust with Karen M over every little thing? Well, that's me. We'll call him Sparky, just to deliniate things here. He made a brief appearance during the last days at LSI, when Jen unleashed him and the two of us went on an anarchic spree the likes of which that place had never seen before and that Sue was not prepared to deal with. Jen brought it out, but it's always been there. My stay on second shift featured that side of me quite a bit, but first shift beat me down a whole lot and he more or less disappeared, but he's back now, baby.

For the longest time at Rugers I was the quiet one, and not only that, I was the quietest one. Like really really quiet. It took me a long while to find my footing there and get comfortable. I knew eventually that I would, but I didn't think it would take this long. It started a few weeks ago, when I suddenly gained the ability to be a wise-ass when dealing with Barney, our cell leader. It isn't like the Karen thing where I used to buck authority and such. It's much more good natured smart-assery, even though in retrospect Karen and I always had a pretty good relationship underneath all of the sass. It's kind of the same, but different. How it is with Barney is more of the kind of dry, deadpan humor that I specialize in, where I'll say something completely outrageous with a straight face and then watch him figure out that I'm kidding. I love it.

Now, it is true that I've been teasing and poking Cooter since last fall, but he's a different and specific case where I got comfortable with the kid early on. The rest of the cell was another matter, and I've mostly kept pretty quiet and just tried to learn what the hell I'm doing, until recently. Now the door has opened, and it only gets worse from here.

It broke open on Friday. I'd overslept a bit and was late for work (grrrr. I hate that), and for some reason it just unlocked the gate. The main target was Jim, who is kind of the cell smart-ass, and really aggressively so to the point where he can be kind of an asshole (and he refers to himself as such), even though Jim and I get along really well. But he definitely noticed the difference in me and the increased frequency of my smart-ass remarks, which he commented upon, and he seems to approve. However, his comment to me of, "Hey, I'm supposed to be the smart ass here", is something I see as a challenge. Anybody who was there and saw me talk back to Karen the way I did with the full kitchen as an audience knows I'm willing to take up that challenge, too.

So why all of a sudden then? I dunno. I think part of it has to do with that first scene of Chapter 16, the one where I mentioned giving Kelly back a lot of his balls. I think it lit a small fire. If that's true then I'm being inspired by the character who's inspired by me in the first place, which is nice. I've also been watching a lot of M*A*S*H* lately, specifically the first three (and best) seasons, which I recently acquired on dvd. I may not have been aware, or just forgotten through watching only the later seasons on tv for so long, how much that one show really shaped my sense of humor (not to mention my anti-authoritarian slant). That show, and Hawkeye in particular, did a lot to form my sarcastic attitude. You know, along with Bugs Bunny, who has a similar wise-ass personality. And indirectly, Groucho Marx, even though I never saw a Marx Brothers movie until I was in my teens. Considering that both Hawkeye and Bugs have impersonated Groucho a few times, it just seems right. I should also cite my dad here, too, because he can be pretty sarcastic as well.

The last reason? I was thinking about LSI a little bit ago, and in particular the effect that Jen had on me, and my old posts here about "the real me", and I started to think that while I was pretty badass there I haven't really lived up to that potential since. And it's true. I haven't. And I'm not going to get anywhere like that.

So it's time to let Sparky out again to play.