Into the Void

It seems that there's only one thing, aside from a couch, that's missing in my life, and that's a woman. I suppose that I added "aside from a couch" to that sentence goes a ways in explaining why I'm single, but the truth is that for the most part I could take or leave a relationship right now as there's just too many other fish to be fried. While it is true that I've had relationships where I can't get out of it fast enough (Betsy, X, Jude, Jen), the rest of them have been pretty decent to really great, and there's a few that I would have been happy to remain in if circumstances hand't intervened. Still, I do get lonely sometimes. It would be nice to have someone to go to the movies with, or to have dinner with, or to walk around holding hands with. I'm not asking for a lot here.

Like it doesn't have to be all-consuming, because then it eats into the other things I need to/want to do with what time Rugers doesn't eat up already. Even the thing with Jen, as screwy as it was, ate up a lot of time. This reminds me of one of my better ad-libs from the FMC days when a few of us happened to be talking about relationships in the vicinity of the schedule. The time was somewhere near the end of the Summer of Darkness (1998), just before the bidding war between Lynne, Krysten, and Jude kicked into gear. In the kitchen we all had hourly positions. I was a 40 hour weekly person, but some others were 32, 24, 16, 8, or per diem, meaning if you were an 8 hour person you were guaranteed 8 hours sometime during the week. You'd probably get more, but it wasn't guaranteed. So we were talking about relationships and I said, "I'm just looking to fill a 24 hour position", meaning not 24/7 but 24 hours spread out during the week. Well, the person I was talking to thought it was funny. Anyway, the point is I wouldn't mind finding something that's part-time, at least for now.

I shouldn't get impatient. The Wheel has proven itself time and again, and it did bring me to Newport for some reason. I was thinking about this earlier, and I've come to the conclusion that explaining and understanding how the Wheel of Destiny works is easier if I roll it out backwards, since it is kind of a For Want of a Nail sort of mechanism. So let's try it.

I wouldn't have moved to Newport if I didn't get the Rugers job.
I wouldn't have even applied at Rugers if I hadn't met Jen.
I wouldn't have met Jen if I weren't still at LSI, and additionally if I hadn't been moved to first shift and denied my transfers.
I wouldn't have been working at LSI if I hadn't moved up here from Massachusetts.
I wouldn't have moved if I weren't going out with Jude.
I wouldn't have hooked up with Jude if I weren't at FMC, if I hadn't been coerced into taking that team leader job, if I hadn't been coerced into leaving housekeeping.
I wouldn't have gotten the FMC job if I didn't know Troy.
I wouldn't have met Troy if I weren't with his sister.
And I wouldn't have met X if Dan (and Julie) hadn't introduced me to her.

And that all started happening right after the terrible thing I won't bring up right now in this post. But see how it all works like clockwork? That doesn't even take into account the various subplots of people moving in and out of the picture as needed for the Wheel to function.

Because I believe in this crazy stuff, I know the Wheel has something big lined up for me down the road. Meanwhile, I'm just going to enjoy life a little bit.