Ain't No Cure For the Summertime Blues

I'm weary of the Jen Saga right now, so I won't do a whole post on that, even though things are somewhat better today. I am still annoyed with the girl, but that's my cross to bear at the moment. And I'm too hot, tired, and dirty from work still (it was about 110 degrees in there), beyond the ability of the shower I took to fix, so the only thing I really feel like talking about is writing progress. There is yet a whole host of other topics to touch on, but I'm sitting here sweating my nuts off, so fuck it.

I finished Chapter 3 yesterday. That isn't big news. I'd only left myself the last 1.5 pages, so it was kind of a lay-up. I finished out the initial dance between Kelly and Alyssa, left the chapter on that interesting note of mystery, which I haven't even explained yet all those chapters later, and I think it's pretty good. Next up is Chapter 4, which I didn't get to today, because after my shower I just collapsed into bed and stayed there until about 9:00 when Jen called again; she'd also called around 5:00, but I was too lazy and weary to answer it ... even though I suspected it might be her. Alas.

Ok, so Chapter 4. The opening scene is the first time we visit with Kelly at work, and there is the problem. Some time back, tired of the hospital setting, I changed it to a factory setting. Now I have to change it back. What I changed it to is way too LSI, and I'm not having that. But there are positives and negatives. I feel as though the hospital is the correct setting for this crew, and the factory is not. However, looking through the pages, I changed the setting so convincingly that it works very well. The small bit of Gwen and Kelly discussing their night ahead is really good, better than it was in the hospital setting. Also, when I had the chapter so that it went through what Kelly did during the night in the kitchen, it just seemed so boring and trivial, which is why I think I changed it in the first place.

But overall, the hospital setting does work better. It's easier to manage what everyone is doing, for one thing, and especially Willow and Alexis. It was especially hard to shoehorn in a position for Alexis at the factory that was somewhat equivalent to having her work in the nutrition office. But that does bring up another thing, too. At the hospital, since it runs seven days a week, that means someone always has to be on shift, and it's impossible that every crew memeber is present during any one shift. So how I contrived that scene with the crew meeting where everyone is present in that small office ... I'm not sure. I'm really trying to make this seem like a natural work setting, where people have days off and such, unlike say Mel's Diner, where anytime it's open Mel, Alice, Vera, and Flo are all there, and it just doesn't make sense that a busy diner only has four people working in it, and that diner has to be open every day, too. Converting these scenes back to the hosptial kitchen means I have to figure out a better flow.

Oh, and the factory ran Monday through Friday. If I do the hospital again, someone has to work Saturday and Sunday evenings. What days does Kelly work there, anyway? How late do they stay? I know in the earlier versions of these scenes they worked until 11:00. Maybe I should scale that back. I don't know yet. This requires some thought.

So tomorrow afternoon, this is my task. I have to hammer out these issues in some satisfactory way. The rest of the chapter is pretty solid, and thank goodness for that.

*****

Ok, while I was figuring out the labels for this post, I had a thought ... kinda. What if Kelly works Monday through Friday, and on those nights the kitchen is open until 11, but on Saturday and Sunday they're only open until 7 or 9. I have to think this out a bit yet, but it's a start.