All Hands On the Bad One

I could have gotten laid this morning, but insteand I went to work. Such is the sad tale of my life. Want to hear the story? Great. Let's go.

So of course she called me this morning. Anytime I'm leaning one way or the other she either shows up or withdraws just to upset the paradigm I've just adjusted to. I would say she's doing it on purpose, but that would mean she's reading my mind, and I doubt that's the case. But it was Saturday morning, and she had no idea I was going into work, so it's a pretty unusual time for her to call, not that anything we do approaches regular in any shape or form, but whatever.

The phone rang at 3:12, way early for her, but I knew it was Jen. Nobody else would call me in that timeframe. She hit right between my two snooze alarms, so the phone woke me up, and I was wicked disoriented for a bit. I'm sure that came across on the other end, too.

So she asked what I was doing. I told her I was getting up, getting up for work. And there was a five second pause before she said .... "Oh. You're working?"

Even confused as I was the pieces were starting to come together. She sounded very disappointed. And as she put the rest of the pieces together for me, it turns out that she was "hornier than a cat in heat", but too bad I had to go to work, huh? This is the story of my life. Well, it isn't like I had any advance warning or anything. I agreed to work yesterday. How was I to know that my girlfriend was going to call me at 3:12 the next morning for a booty call? Especially since that never happens.

So we jousted about that for a few minutes. She insisted I didn't know what I was missing out on, and I said that yeah I get the idea, now you're just rubbing it in. And I played it cool, even though this being the FIRST time I've worked a Saturday in eons that ... that .... yeah. Fate is really a cruel mistress sometimes. I'll tell you what, though, Fate or the Nice Lady or whoever is up there fucking with me .... there'd better be a goddam point to all of this! Or I am going to be one unhappy camper.

The truth is even if I had some idea yesterday that she might call me this morning for that reason ... I probably still would have agreed to work. Come on, if she'd planned it ahead what are the chances that it would have been cancelled or the plans changed, and then I would have been *really* wound up. At least this way, with all of the guys at work crawling over each other to get a piece of that, I'm the one she called about it. Take that, motherfuckers.

It didn't bother me at work. Then I came home. Now I've said this before, but listen clearly to my voice this time when I say: Shaun is getting FRUSTRATED.