No Wire Hangers

Today moved right into the surreal. Sue came right at me today with both barrels. Twice. The first time I kind of blew her off; the second time I was stunned, flabbergasted, and really pissed. I'll tell you the story.

I came to work with my two-weeks notice all written out and safe in my back pocket. Jen saw it. And down at the lockers I also showed it to Starr, just because I thought it was fair for her to know I was seriously getting out. Bob wasn't at his desk on my way down to the floor, which put a crimp in my plans. But I figured I'd catch him later on. Turns out he wasn't in today at all.

Shortly before 9:00 break Sue tackled me the first time. Not only did she know I was giving my notice, but she knew that I could start at the new place on the 25th, and she was all accusatory about it. I said that since I hadn't talked to Bob yet, I officially had no comment. She said that gossip was halfway all over the shop already. So who sold it out? Jen or Starr? It wasn't Jen. Sue clearly implied that it was Jen without coming out and saying so, but I know it wasn't. I'm not saying I care that Starr sold it out, mind you, but I knew what I was doing when I let her know about it. Meanwhile, Sue is trying to play Divide and Conquer with me and Jennifer.

It got worse.

The second time was just before lunch. Sue just pole-axed me. I'll try to quote her as accurately as I can:

"I don't know why you're ok with HER going around talking about your business all over the shop. It isn't right. I think you know that. IT ISN'T RIGHT."

There was more along those lines, which I can't quite remember correctly, but that's the general idea. Keep in mind, this is my *lead person* saying this to me.

It actually started like this:

Sue: "I'll tell you the same thing I told Jen. I know you tell her EVERYTHING."

Me: "Not yet."

Sue: "You don't know what I'm going to say yet."

Me: "Doesn't matter."

I'm hip to what she's trying to do, see. She's had some problem with Jen for a time now. She has a HUGE problem with Jen and I together. In Sue's eyes, all this is Jennifer's fault. I was a mousy little pushover who would have stayed there forever screening like a little monkey ... until that evil bitch came along and corrupted me and is taking me away. She believes this. She believes that Jen built the current version of me like an erector set. What she doesn't understand is Jen just brought the real me back out, and if I wasn't REALLY like this underneath I sure the fuck couldn't fake it.

She finished with this: "I've already gone and given Autumn a head's up about the two-weeks notice."

Autumn would be the 2nd in command on the floor, after Bob. Now let's look at that statement. This is a woman who just got in my face about my girlfriend going around talking about my business ... while going around to Autumn and telling my business. I hadn't gotten a chance to stop at Autumn's desk yet, and fuck it, apparently I don't even need to because I have Sue to do it for me. Jesus Christ.

Now if Sue wants to come at me and be all, "You're an asshole for leaving," that's fine. But don't come at me and talk shit about my girlfriend. Not only does that assault my sense of professionalism as a former team leader myself, but that's a line she doesn't want to cross with me ever.

So, to quote a hero of mine: Of course you know, this means war.

If I hadn't been completely flabbergasted and speechless at the gall it takes for her to say something like that to me I would have ripped into her like she's never seen before. As it was, I was wired for sound. I went into the backroom and Jen and June were in there. I could see in Jen's eyes that she was livid already, and I assumed she'd gotten the flipside of what I'd just gotten. I almost exploded while talking to June, due to the unpleasant undertones of how Sue attacked me.

"She isn't my mother, right? I mean, I have a mother already and she isn't it. I have a perfectly good mother at home. SHE IS NOT MY FUCKING MOTHER."

My mom did a pretty good job with me, I think. I'm not in the need for another mother to come around and choose my fucking girlfriends for me. And Sue does NOT want my mom to show up there and straighten her out. I'll tell you that right now.

I finally got a chance to hand my little piece of paper to Autumn at the end of the day on my way out. Sue was within eye-range as I did so. There should be a nice shitstorm tomorrow. She has no idea.

Near the end of the day I worked with Stacy again. She'd been in her own department for most of the day and missed all the excitement. She's been kind of an ally of Jen and mine lately, because we're the cool kids pretty much. We got to talking about why I was so wound up and angry.

Me: "Sue came by and started talking shit to me about Jen."

Stacy: "SHE DID NOT!"

Me: "She totally did."

But she couldn't get it out of Jen what Sue had said to her that got her in a tizzy.

I hooked up with Jen after work. We ended up at a picnic table talking about this, that, and the other ... and especially about work.

This is what Sue had said to her. Exact quote: "That's been my problem with you since the beginning. You can't keep your comments to yourself. In the future I suggest you keep your *fucking* comments to yourself!"

Holy jumping shit. That's my super-professional team leader who said that. I asked if the word 'fucking' was really in there. It was. Then I told her what had been said to me and she was *furious*. She wants blood. I'm down for that. We spent a good while trying to come up with something that would really really get under her skin, but we couldn't decide on anything ... even though we had some nuggets of true viciousness. Even so, we're both pretty quick on our feet and good at improvising out of what the other is doing.

That's how it is with the best partners-in-crime.