Instant Karma

I'll write out the epic sometime later this afternoon. Right now I feel a little sick to my stomach. I thought it would pass after a couple hours, but I'm still flip-flopping like crazy. It's a little hard to breathe. My mental state is uncertain and indecisive. And I feel like I might cry. On top of that I have no idea whatsoever what to do with myself, and I need to think of something that'll keep me from just laying down in bed, putting on an X cd, and staring at the ceiling for hours. So you may be wondering ... what's causing all this?

It was a dream. That's all. But it was one so real and vivid that after waking up I had to convince myself it wasn't true. The dream showed me something I wanted, and then I had to talk myself out of it. At least it wasn't the usual thing for once, not that that's a big consolation or anything. It was me and Jen. We were together and very happy. And she was pregnant. And in the dream we were busy planning what we were going to do next with our little family. Now there are things in our real relationship that I haven't delved into for the blog here, but let me just say that last night's dream was perhaps the most unfair dream I've ever had. At least with the Miranda dreams I've kind of earned what I get. This one just wasn't fair.

But I do think I know why it was sent to me ... some kind of karmic payback. Let's leave it at that.

I feel like lighting something on fire.