The Funari Principle

I know I shouldn't keep telling all of this story out of order. I really should go back and finish the Into the Black series, but once again I'm merely Calliope's playtoy, and therefore have to write about what she wants me to write about. This one has pretty much been percolating in my mind for the whole week anyway. It really starts Sunday, which was kind of a rocky day, even though it ended in a long telephone conversation that more or less sorted Jen and I out. But the factors that led to the rocky day, at least the ones coming from my end, forced me to make a change in the way I've been dealing with all this.

I've been caught in the orbit of Planet Jen for a while now, long enough that I may have started to lose my perspective on the relationship. And this brings me to something that Guinevere had suggested a week earlier, and while I agreed with her suggestion, the prior week wasn't favorable for implementing it. The suggestion involved revisiting something that happened between Krysten and I way back at the Medical Center. At one point in our relationship, the sexual tension between Krysten and I was so thick and vicious that a tremendous friction developed between us to the point where she and I could barely co-exist. I wouldn't give her a break on anything, and I'm pretty sure I was a horrible dick to her for about a week, until it got so bad that she finally pulled me aside and asked if we could talk about it. And we did, and we ironed it out. I might have never approached her, but Krysten had a lot of moxie.

Now, the thing with Jen here is somewhat based on the underlying principle involved in that story, but it required some tweaking. I would gain nothing by being a jerk, but I do know that in our early going that this thing with Jen was running smoother when I was being more stand-offish as opposed to when I repeatedly threw myself against the wall to go splat. So after Sunday night I decided I wasn't calling her. At all. Monday after work the plan was to hang out here a bit and then go to Borders. I wasn't going to hang out and twist in the wind over whether or not to call her up. Nope. I went to Borders and did my thing. When I got home a little after 8:00, I had a message from her in my voice mail. Hey, this might actually work. Since I was calling her *back*, I did call, and we ended up talking until after midnight.

Tuesday. I didn't call. I did the same thing. She called me again that night, and we talked for a little while. And we made plans for the next day, which was the day my physical was scheduled for, and she came along and got some of her paperwork done while we were out there. I went to my appointment, we came back here and bummed around for a bit, and then I went in to pick up her last paycheck ... as she was told by Chris that she couldn't come in and get it herself. Of course, I made sure to park in as noticeable spot as possible, seeing as how we arrived just before the 3:20 bell, on the side of the building where most of the people we'd want to catch exit ... including June, Skip and Gloria, Stacy, and Sue. All of that first group stopped by to see us, and told us how the day had gone without me (I totally ditched work), but I was inside talking to Chris when Sue came out, and apparently the glare would have been enough to turn normal people to stone. Luckily, Jennifer is more of a stone cold badass. So we accomplished that, and then I drove her home.

Thursday. I covered some of the particulars of Thursday in the last post, but once again -- I was here doing my own thing, she called me, we hung out a bit, then I went to do my own thing again. But we did make tentative plans for today, the aforementioned "make me a better offer" plans. Now, I've learned with Jen that any and all plans are a) subject to change, b) subject to cancellation, and c) extremely flexible. So, it was kind of a we'll see what happens thing for me.

This morning came and I called Rugers. Betty wasn't there today, so I might have to go in Monday to do my paperwork stuff, at least I fucking hope so. I would like to start my new job as soon as possible. Anyway, Jennifer called me around 10:30 and I went to meet her. I went through this whole week without initiating a phone call or whatever else, and I let her do some of the work instead. It's been working.

So today we hung out for a pretty long while. I was expecting only a couple hours, but it went about seven, which was nice. We hung out with her dog Sarah and her grandma's dog Bullet (who has the puppydog face of all puppydog faces), took them to play in the park, and I met her friend Nicole from Manchester right near the end there. Then I went my own way to go write at Borders. I felt pretty good about things. Jen said she might call me later, but I didn't put a whole lot of stock in it. I figured she should go have some girls night with Nicole and enjoy herself, and I could fend for myself doing things I like to do.

Because sometimes I just need to break out of the orbit of Planet Jen, you know?

Anyway, I got home a bit after 8:00. There was a message from Jen in my mail. She and Nicole were going to the movies and if I wanted to come along give her a call back. And I thought about this, and about whether or not I wanted to be the third wheel ... again ... and I thought about it, and I didn't call her back right away. A little while later the phone rang again, and I thought about it, and didn't answer it. I called back again a little after 9:00, when I figured the movie had started, so as to leave a message where I said I got back late and sorry I missed the message and have fun with Nicole. But she answered.

You know where they were? They'd gone to Borders to look for me. I was stunned by how actually sweet that was. They were out looking for me. So she asked if I wanted to come along to the movie and I said I would and met them there. First we hooked up and took a short drive for a smoke, which I hadn't done in about four years, and it had quite an effect. Nicole seems pretty nice, by the way. The movie we went to was 1408, and it wasn't too bad. Then, since Nicole had left her young son with Jen's mom, they had to split, and I came back here.

Pretty good day overall.

On the drive home I decided something, and if this doesn't prove that the Real Me is back then nothing will. I decided that even though I'm a little neurotic and I may not have a lot of slick moves and I do fuck up now and then ... I am pretty badass in the boyfriend role. Nobody will ever have your back or treat you better than I will when I am The Boyfriend. And Jen should know this. And when things start to get tough, and they will, she should hang onto me by any means necessary, and keep me around, and she should realize just how valuable I am. Because if she doesn't .... some girl will. I am a great boyfriend to have around. I'm not perfect, but I will do my best. You should be lucky to have me around.

How's that for a slice of fried gold?