No Leaf Clover

This is hard to do. I know I have cousins out there now with blogs of their own, which I haven't read, but I'm going to guess that, sight-unseen, those blogs aren't nearly as heavy as this one has been and will continue to be. I'm also going out on a limb to guess that my blogging relatives have an easier time of discussing what's going on in their lives than I do here. That's one argument in favor of continuing on with my other blog: even in my worst moments and during my most depressing states, the other blog is lightened with some acerbic humor and sarcasm. And that's due in large part to the creative process I have to go through to make those posts work. Here I'm just opening up my belly and letting my innards spill all over, and it isn't pretty. That isn't easy for me to do, either. And that's why I never do this for long. The last incarnation of Stray Bullets only lasted 11 posts, and I don't think any of those were nearly as personally gut-wrenching to produce as the half dozen we have here now (including this one).

It also raises the question of who I want reading this. The other blog has an established audience, which is right now the only thing still holding me there, but this one ... ? So far I have Guinevere, my faithful friend and confidant, and that's it. I have the intention of e-mailing my sister to see if she's interested; I do know she's read the other one off and on. I will feel a little guilty if I don't at least mention to my mom that a blog exists, even if ..... geez, I dunno. I just don't know. And at some point if or when Jen reads some of this I may end up feeling like a complete tool. So really, this blog at best is only going to have a very limited readership.

Which is probably for the best.