I Don't Get It.

So given the way things were left off on Thursday, you must know what I was thinking. I was expecting Jen would come in and be distant, because what else would "I should just back off" mean? And probably no more hanging out, no more being close pals, no more whatever. Are you with me? Am I being off the wall there? What would you think it means? So I was in at 6. She came in at 7, came right over to me and said, "We're going on a road trip after work."

Huh. It was almost like nothing happened. The other situation with SD was still in effect, but Jen and I were fine. I don't understand. I'm not complaining, mind you. But I don't get it. She still wanted to hang out, she still wants to be roomies, and so forth. It's twisting my brain. I do think I know why I isolated myself so long ago, because I'm really not sure I'm still cut out to co-exist with people in the world anymore. I used to be reasonably good at it, but now it's a gigantic roller coaster that I can barely handle. Of course, if I didn't like this girl a lot ... this would be so much easier. But since I do, it's just a gut-wrenching ride at every turn.

Yeah, so we hung out for a while and had a good time. Although, by then I was just emotionally exhausted from the cumulative effect of this week, and I said so. I'm not sure she understood what I meant, but that's ok.

It's my cross to bear.