Get Up Get Up and Get Down

Yesterday I felt bulletproof. It's hard to remember a day when I felt more alive and invincible. First, Jen brokered an end to the civil war between SD and I, which is something I'll always appreciate her doing. SD and I then had a very interesting conversation concerning the person who'd really been pulling the strings that put her and I at odds: our fat, lying whore of a team leader. Following that, Jen and I had a talk ourselves. I don't actually remember how we got on the subject, but we ended up discussing whether or not we were on the same page with things. I really wasn't sure. There were things I believed, yes, but without confirmation who really knows for sure? So we discussed it. She knows where I stand. I know where she stands. They aren't really that far apart. And we came pretty close to admitting that we're going out, without either of us putting it like that. She's had some rough going in the past, and this is hard for her, but what we said made me feel pretty good about it all. After work we hung out for a few hours and that went well, too. I felt great. Bulletproof.

Today things seemed a little bit off. It could just be me. I do overthink things. But things did seem a little off, and I left work feeling far less bulletproof and a lot more vulnerable. I don't know. Right now as I'm writing this my feeling is that I'm just being stupid. And maybe I am.

But tell that to the knot in my stomach.