That Little Red Haired Girl

...is driving me crazy.

I know, I know. For only the 2nd post on this thing I'm kind of jumping in right in the middle of the story, but the fact is that she is making me a little bananas. All right. See, there's this girl I happen to like. Her name is Jen. I happen to think she likes me, too. I do. That's what I think. The thing that makes it tricky is that she works with me ... same company, same department. That alone makes it hard for me to figure out how to handle this, and even what I should or shouldn't do. Workplace relationships have a tendency to go really pear-shaped really quickly if I'm not careful, and as soon as I get emotionally invested caution goes right out the window most of the time. And wouldn't you know it ...

At first I was playing this just right. I didn't know what I wanted out of it, and I kept her at arm's length. She started fishing around to see if I wanted to hang out, but I would be non-commital or dismissive of everything. Then I did agree to go out that Friday night, whether or not it was a date or not; I haven't gotten into the whole definitional thing with her as far as that night goes, but I do consider it was a date. So there. By that point, the emotional detachment was already starting to slip. You might as well say that it's all but gone right now. She doesn't know that, I hope, but it's true. I like this girl A LOT. And to some degree, she does know that.

Now, today we were supposed to do something. There were tentative plans made somewhat on the fly while we were working, but since we weren't working together nothing concrete was set down. She had to do something about her car and we briefly discussed where we might meet up, but nothing was really set. I figured I'd see her right after work and we could figure it out. So I ended up working pretty much right to the bell. I was in the back, and then I went into the men's room to take a piss. The bell rang while I was in there, and when I came out she was gone. Down by the lockers SD told me that Jen had been looking for me, but couldn't find me, and then I looked outside but I didnt' see her. The only place we'd really talked about hooking up was at Borders, so I headed over there early.

And while I got some quality work done, after I finally went in, she never did show up. And of course, it's making me a little nuts. I'm sure she just got busy somewhere along the way or had car problems or something, and I'm sure we'll talk about it tomorrow, but it still made me a little bananas.

I could have saved myself a whole lot of angst by not taking that fucking piss.